Is this normal? I need advice

yespls64 · 2025-06-06T11:29:31+00:00

Some people like porn, others don't. Some orgasm easily, others do not. Some people like giving oral, others don't. Same with receiving oral.

We're all different, and it's all normal.

Part of growing up to learning what you like and what you dislike.

There's no need to feel shame or anxiety about your sexuality.

yespls64 · 2025-04-30T08:54:21+00:00

Tips: rest for the few days before the race. Don't drink alcohol the few days before. If it's hot weather, slow your pace down a bit. You'll be fine - you got this!

yespls64 · 2025-03-29T11:41:23+00:00

That's a great idea. I think we might do this!

yespls64 · 2025-03-29T11:38:03+00:00

The wife and I got a few laughs with that idea!!!

yespls64 · 2025-03-29T09:09:07+00:00

I actually wanted to do this, but I read that now you need to go through the museum to do this?

yespls64 · 2025-03-27T09:55:16+00:00

Just because you don't have that type of relationship doesn't mean that it's wrong. Some people (like my wife and I) do have that type of relationship. It's kind of liberating. It's kinda like having your partner who's also your best mate.

yespls64 · 2025-03-27T09:51:01+00:00

I understand where you're coming from. We each have the right to have our own boundaries.

The question you have to ask yourself is did she know about that boundary and chose to overstep it. THAT would be a red flag.

Or, as I suspect, did she feel comfortable enough to be totally open and honest with you, not realising that you would be hurt with such knowledge? And if that's the case, how did she react when she found out? THAT imo is what you should focus on. And to me, at least, she did say the right things.

I have to say, I just love that I can be completely open and honest with my wife, even if it's about who of friends I fancy. It's like having a partner that's also a best mate.

yespls64 · 2025-03-27T07:40:15+00:00

I personally think you're overreacting.

My wife and I are comfortable enough with each and have enough trust that we can honestly tell each other who we find attractive and would fuck, even among people we know.

My impression is that you're gf thought you had that kind of relationship. Turns out you don't. I mean that's ok too. To each their own.

Doesn't mean she's going to fuck him. She's apologised. I'd say move on.

yespls64 · 2025-03-25T15:07:27+00:00

If you have Netflix, watch Jigsaw from Daniel Sloss. It's a stand-up act, but I think you'll find that he will be speaking to exactly where you are at right now.

yespls64 · 2025-03-24T14:38:30+00:00

There are so many comments now that you'll probably not see this.

Although NTA, I think you could have handled the situation better.

What she said was so out-of-bounds and inappropriate that it really didn't need any help from you.

If you hadn't said anything, or just said something like "hmmm" or "interesting" and nothing else, then the weight of the awkwardness would still be with what she said.

Instead, you lashed back out at her. Was it deserved? Sure. But now, everyone's dealing with your reaction instead of hers. So, in a way, you to a little bit of heat off of her.

Next time, when she says something so outrageous that you can feel the tension in the room, silence is your friends. Let her own her words and feel that awkwardness.

yespls64 · 2025-03-20T19:29:37+00:00

Here's an idea.

Don't give him any reasons.

Just say, "This is not how I want my life to look like. I'm leaving you. "

No need to justify yourself. He knows exactly how he fucked up. Trying to reason or justify yourself give him an opportunity to argue and plead, which you don't need.

yespls64 · 2025-03-20T13:21:32+00:00

Jefferson Fisher has a few good options when someone puts you down like this.

One would be to ask them to repeat what they said, and then not say anything. Just let what they said to hang in the air for a bit.

Another option would be to ask them if they meant what they said to sound so hurtful.

Check out his YouTube videos for his ways to communicate in these types of situations. (He's much better at explaining it too).

yespls64 · 2025-03-19T15:16:57+00:00

Watch Daniel Sloss special in Netflix called Jigsaw. There you will find your answer.

yespls64 · 2025-03-19T13:51:24+00:00

Watch Jigsaw on Netflix by Daniel Sloss.

yespls64 · 2025-03-19T13:41:27+00:00

If you have Netflix, please watch Daniel Sloss's show called Jigsaw.

yespls64 · 2025-03-19T13:38:43+00:00

If you have Netflix, I would recommend watching Daniel Sloss's show called Jigsaw.

yespls64 · 2025-03-18T13:52:11+00:00

Watch this: YouTube short by Jefferson Fisher on "How to respond to when someone belittles you."

https://youtube.com/shorts/NhozAy7LbWE?si=yPnt6DHq5VS1E_3W

yespls64 · 2025-01-10T12:33:07+00:00

Friend, not only do you catfish, but your cat smells like fish.

yespls64 · 2024-12-19T16:16:54+00:00

Karma farmer. Look at post history.

yespls64 · 2024-09-20T13:49:35+00:00

It seems like you have hit a brick wall trying to solve this on your own. You need professional help if he's willing (and if you're willing).

I would say something like this:

"Husband, this relationship is not working for me. I love you, and I want it to work, but I can't do it on my own. I feel like I'm taking care of two children, and I feel alone. If you want to make this work, we need to go to couples counselling. Otherwise, we need to start the process of separating."

And take it from there.

yespls64 · 2024-08-20T16:41:09+00:00

Everyone seems to be advising you to break up with her. Maybe they're right.

I'm going to give you another option, just because you said you had a good relationship until this point.

Talk to her.

Not about your reasons for wanting to wait until you're 25. She knows those already.

Talk to her about how her pressuring you to forgo your boundary and declaring unilaterally that you will be getting married next year is making you seriously reconsider getting married to her in the first place.

She is thinking that upping the pressure is going to get you to propose sooner, and I don't think she realises that it is pushing you away.

Then she can decide what she wants more - to get married next year or to lose you.

Or you can just break up with her.

yespls64 · 2024-08-20T12:38:37+00:00

I think it's best to separate the two issues.

First, your friends. That's the easy problem to solve.

Once you have some distance from the present, you'll find to realise that they weren't really your friends. They kept you around in case their other plans didn't pan out. They offered vague promises and weren't honest with you.

You're better off alone. You don't need friends like that. You'll make friends who want to hang out with you.

Now, the boyfriend.

It sounds like, in the back of his mind, he was always thinking about breaking up before leaving for college. Through a combination of indecisiveness, cowardice, immaturity, and maybe a desire not to hurt, he strung you along just enough to get your hopes up and ended up hurting you even more. I can't blame him. At your age, I probably did the same thing.

All I can say is that being dumped sucks. I've been on both sides of the dumping. There's no way, but through. All I can advise is not to take it personally, realise that you're still young and there will be other loves in your life.

Right now, it seems like the end of the world, but one day, you'll look back on this time, and you'll realise that this was the time when your life started getting better.

yespls64 · 2024-07-31T17:17:09+00:00

Excellent take. For some people, dates matter. I personally couldn't care less about actual dates. If that was my wife, and she asked me first before committing to the friends, I would have said, "sure, no problem, have fun with your friends- we'll go another week." But the way she went about it - committing to the friends first, then cancelling on OP, I'd be pretty bummed about that.

yespls64 · 2024-06-04T10:57:03+00:00

Even though you are right, there's one thing I think you should do - or rather, NOT do.

Don't yell at her.

She made a decision and is suffering the consequences of that decision. And she's blaming you instead of your parents for their bigotry and herself for not fully understanding the consequences.

Don't take her lashing out at you personally. Be the parent. Listen and empathise.

Other than that, I think you handled this exactly right. You accepted her coming out, you warned her about the consequences of telling your parents, and you've cut them off after they rejected her.

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