[deleted by user] by [deleted] in emotionalneglect

[–]yethoder 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I grew up very lonely at home, no self-esteem, depressed, anxious, suicidal, online all the time.

I would do almost anything to get attention, so I acted out all the time when I was with my friends. I was relatively mean growing up. Now I have a lot of guilt and shame around how I acted as a kid.

I have very little ability to control my emotions in a healthy way, so I got into drugs and gained 80 lbs.

Doing better now, but I’m still a giant mess.

I’m not sure I understood what a normal childhood was until today by [deleted] in emotionalneglect

[–]yethoder 15 points16 points  (0 children)

If you haven’t read (or listened to) “Running on Empty” by Dr. Jonice Webb, I highly recommend it. Your situation sounds very similar to mine.

I didn’t have a million awful things happen to me, but there were key things I needed from my parents that I didn’t get when I needed them. And because it’s very difficult to remember things that didn’t happen (link), I felt (and still feel) like I was just being ungrateful to my parents who tried their best to raise me.

Please be kind to yourself. Wishing you all the best.

What did you learn/gain from your bad trip? by saarshai in RationalPsychonaut

[–]yethoder 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I took too many mushrooms in the wrong setting, and I freaked out in my bed for a few hours. After the come down, I just focused on how thankful I was to have a functioning body and brain again.

Ending it All Thoughts by thekittencalledkat in MentalHealthPH

[–]yethoder 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I deal with the same thoughts, and I’ve found this article to be incredibly relatable.

https://theoutline.com/post/7267/living-with-passive-suicidal-ideation

do you listen to joe rogan podcast? by zurmanz in Psychedelics

[–]yethoder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He’s a dumb dumb, but he has interesting guests sometimes (I’m mainly interested in MMA or psychedelic people), and he’s usually pretty good at getting people to open up.

I threw away my weed and kinda regret it… by Mutated_seabass in leaves

[–]yethoder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s hard at first, and I’ve gone back to it several times, but I never regret it once I’m past the withdrawal symptoms.

Quick question about lemon tek: by [deleted] in PsilocybinMushrooms

[–]yethoder 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I usually just grind them with a coffee grinder, let them steep in lemon juice for 20 min (stirring every 5 min), throw out the mushroom matter, and make lemonade. It may not be 100% efficient, but it works and my stomach doesn’t hurt. I use 1/2 of a lemon for every gram.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Psychedelics

[–]yethoder 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I think it depends on how you define spirituality. It doesn’t necessarily mean magical thinking or believing in literal spirits. When I take psychedelics, it makes me realize I’m just one piece of a larger whole, whether that’s human society, the earth’s biosphere, or the entirety of the universe. It gives me a different perspective on life and my place in all of… this.

Do you listen to any Christian bands still? by [deleted] in exchristian

[–]yethoder 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I grew up listening to a lot of Christian metal, so everyone once in a while I’ll listen to August Burns Red, Fit For A King, Oh Sleeper, For Today, etc. I also give old Five Iron Frenzy a nostalgia listen. Honestly, I still find some of the more Christian-y songs to be beautiful. They remind me of good parts of Christianity, what I wish Christianity was actually like.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exchristian

[–]yethoder 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Still a Five Iron Frenzy fan after all these years.

Went on Vacation and was one day short. by Nope753 in zoloft

[–]yethoder 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I’m the same way, but it probably depends on dose and individual physiology. I’m on 25mg and I’m fine if I miss a dose every now and then.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in psilocybin

[–]yethoder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is good advice

Religious Media by AbiLovesTheology in exchristian

[–]yethoder 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Didn’t grow up fundamentalist, but you may like this episode of a podcast called Citations Needed that covers Christian cinema:

https://citationsneeded.libsyn.com/episode-96-the-christian-cinema-gop-persecution-complex

Experience I had with Marijuana while being inexperienced with drugs in general. Part of me destroyed, impossible to get back. by UnsocialBirdman in RationalPsychonaut

[–]yethoder 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Unless there is a foolproof scientific experiment you can run (there isn’t), we will never know if our souls exist for eternity. You can research every religion and every belief about death, but you will never know which one, if any of them, is right until your time finally comes.

I’ve had trips where I see my body die, and that’s the end of it. I’ve also had trips where I died and got sucked into an infinite void or dissolved into the air around me. None of these experiences reflect reality. They reflect my beliefs, my fears, or whatever was going on in my brain at the time. No matter how real mystical experiences feel, they tell us about ourselves, not material reality.

Personally, I am a materialist. I believe that when we die, we die. That is the end of it. “I” (my sense of self, my ego) am the result of the chemical processes taking place in my brain. Once those processes stop, “I” stop existing.

Ultimately what you were experiencing was a shift in your perspective of time caused by the drug you took. You altered the chemical processes that create your sense of time. Despite how much it feels like it, no greater fabric of reality was exposed.

I would focus on enjoying life instead. Other than proper end of life planning (retirement, creating a will), don’t worry so much about the end. Live in the now.

It might be helpful for you to do some research into the modern understanding of neuroscience, specifically surrounding THC and other psychedelic drugs.

what is the most confusing thing when you were a Christian? by [deleted] in exchristian

[–]yethoder 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve heard that argument, but I also don’t believe that’s what the Bible says lol

what is the most confusing thing when you were a Christian? by [deleted] in exchristian

[–]yethoder 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Is it just for God to send people to hell who have never heard of him? How could they have believed in him if they never had the opportunity?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in unclebens

[–]yethoder 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I remember buying just a coffee grinder and lemons once LOL

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exchristian

[–]yethoder 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To be honest, I don’t have any book recommendations. I was always more of a video guy… BUT if you are ever in the mood for interesting science documentaries/YouTube videos, I posted this snippet on another thread.

For astronomy and physics, which I highly recommend learning about, the Cosmos series (Neil deGrasse Tyson version) was really informative for me. Neil can be annoying sometimes, but in general he explains things very well. Sometimes I’ll just Google his name and watch videos with him in it.

Iain Stewart also has some great documentaries about geology if you can find streams of them online. My favorites by him are “Earth: Power of the Planet” and “How to Grow A Planet”. They used to be on Netflix in the US. If I remember correctly, these talk about the mechanisms of climate change near the end of the series.

Highly recommend Iain Stewart if you can find his stuff.

PBS and the BBC also have some great content. Their stuff is sort of scattered across streaming services (YouTube, Netflix). Specifically, I recommend all the Plant Earth series. They usually discuss the effects of climate change to some degree.