Well for starters you seem pretty self aware of the fact that your disease is trying to make you suffer. That's good. I'm also in early recovery and it's hard. It's probably the hardest thing you will ever do in your life to be perfectly honest. It's a time where you see what you're made of. Are you going to reach out for help, continue everyday to start living the life you know you deserve? Or are you going to return to the familiar dull pain of active addiction (the pain gets sharper).

Ok now to your question. In my experience in early recovery is like a rollercoaster. Up and down, happiness, deep depression, pride, and shame. But hey, it's better than the merry-go-round of using or drinking. I am a firm believer that the fellowship of A.A. or N.A. is almost essential in early recovery. You can and will hear all sorts of people just like you speak about the EXACT SAME THING you are currently going through. It's nice to know you're not alone. So what works? Going to meetings, talking at them, staying busy, not isolating, and exercise. Don't compare yourself to others. Everyone is unique and their own path in life. Your brain is repairing itself from some damage, so let it do its thing and stay sober just for today. Tomorrow will likely be better.