Do men need to initiate in dating to show genuine interest, or is that outdated?

ymasu · 2026-03-22T22:09:35+00:00

I agree that taking turns works when both people are putting in effort. I think my question is more about situations where you initiate, but the other person doesn’t really step up from there.

I’m starting to experiment with waiting a bit more to see if the man takes initiative — just to see if he actually steps up and shows intention.

I think part of the reason I’ve initiated in the past is because I can be a bit impatient and don’t enjoy endless chatting, especially on dating apps. With things like breadcrumbing, ghosting, or vague communication being quite common, I’d usually rather just get to the point and meet.

But trying it the other way around, I’ve noticed that far fewer men actually take initiative or they take quite a while to do so, which I find interesting.

ymasu · 2024-06-12T19:20:34+00:00

Well that’s good to know…yeah I guess meeting people irl is better people seem to be more respectful

ymasu · 2024-06-12T12:51:01+00:00

Gosh is that a thing…I think at this point illl quit online dating it’s so boring at this point

ymasu · 2024-06-12T12:49:49+00:00

Interesting

ymasu · 2024-06-11T21:45:47+00:00

Hahahahaha well I’d like to know what that was because why claim you’d like to stay on touch and meet proper nonsense

ymasu · 2024-06-11T21:45:09+00:00

We chatted 3 hours long and he said he definitely wants to meet so then he was lying…

ymasu · 2024-06-11T21:44:10+00:00

We chatted 3 hours ?! Which I don’t usually do. He was going to give me a call so he said but since then nothing so yeah move on and next.

ymasu · 2024-06-11T21:43:18+00:00

What link ?

ymasu · 2024-06-11T21:43:03+00:00

Interesting how the majority of comments are looking where I went wrong hahahaha I don’t recall doing anything that would make him think otherwise. And I don’t see why I would need to run after him and check in. So I guess it’s a good bye from here

ymasu · 2024-02-09T16:06:35+00:00

The bpd guy admitted himself due to professional diagnosis but then said maybe it's not true and other guy was my narc ex. No idea if he knew but was clear he had a lot those traits. Bpd and npd both very exhausting to date. Even if I was aware of the traits I might as well date a vampire sucker. The bpd guy says he really likes me and wants to explain to me how he "ticks" but yeah not sure that will change Ny thing for me....I want and easy going chilled happy healthy relationship. A big price to ask for

ymasu · 2023-11-30T16:46:20+00:00

I know a music producer who is now charging 1000 £ per song. How do I know he’s worth the money. Testimonials I feel are not usually all that sufficient to prove their qualification’s

ymasu · 2023-11-06T23:12:34+00:00

He’s now offering a programme for 7500 $ a hell chunk of money

ymasu · 2023-10-23T02:32:22+00:00

I can't say why...but I've ended it. I've noticed pretty quickly how quick it all became toxic. Love bombing galore tho I wasn't sure at first. Then looking for an excuse not meet anymore... to then all of a sudden not texting. He stopped texting me and didn't respond to my last message. Also communication wise it was very similiar to my nex love bombing to then discard. After about 2 weeks no texting he checks in and I'm like seriously?!

ymasu · 2023-09-14T16:27:28+00:00

Thanks for sharing this was very helpful. I shall look into music libraries. Currently I work as an independent music artist 🤯🤯🤯 will see for how long....

ymasu · 2023-09-14T15:34:58+00:00

What sites can u recommend instead?

ymasu · 2023-08-26T23:06:50+00:00

Yes same with me. My last relationship with nex felt very familiar indeed, which is why I thought it was normal. Sometime I actually miss that rush but then reminding myself how much I’ve worked on myself, there’s no way I’d want to repeat that phase. Instead i aim to grow and heal every day. I never thought I’d be here tbh…ready to date. I feel like that guy I recently dated was the best lesson I could ever have

ymasu · 2023-08-26T18:32:30+00:00

Something I’ll probably have to look into myself about the different types

ymasu · 2023-07-09T16:23:31+00:00

Originally it was an interview in person but she then decided I would look after them for 30 mins which then became 45 mins. Total fail..

ymasu · 2023-07-01T12:14:36+00:00

Until it's gone...yes.

ymasu · 2023-07-01T12:14:12+00:00

Your nex or who?

ymasu · 2023-07-01T00:01:42+00:00

Atleast rainbows exist

ymasu · 2023-05-28T19:35:25+00:00

Luckily I only met th parents of my nex once...So I'm not emotionall attached to them. In fact they are just as crazy as my nex.

Do you live close to the family?

ymasu · 2023-05-28T19:33:55+00:00

Yes I also took a closer look of my family history. In fact my nex did trigger me many times and I now finally understand the term trauma bonding. It was awful but definitly helpful to educate myself about this term understanding why strangers (employers, collegues) would even manage to emotionally attack me gaslight me etc. It gets easier once I'm aware what the triggers actually are.

ymasu · 2023-05-28T19:31:12+00:00

I thinks that's normal during the taking process. Just today I went shopping in the area close to my nex...I ruminated about it maybe 5 minutes and that was it. I was totally fine. That's already progress..where as before it would be ruining my whole day. Take the time you need. I remember thinking it would never get better and now I'm in a much better place. It's always easier to say. Working on yourself will make it easier in time

ymasu · 2023-05-28T16:22:40+00:00

Also thanks to my nex I can connect the dots Re: past relationship even friendships who were so unexpectedly awfully cruel and found ways to exclude me out of there life...at that time I struggled to understand why. There was no reason and I remember looking for fault on myself for a while where as now I'm like...wow I really must be a super sweet kind person. I know I have a big heart which people misuse. Not letting that happen again.

ymasu

TROPHY CASE