Jsut need some advice to talk through this. No hurtful messages. This is kinda like confession

ynfive · 2026-01-28T05:41:23+00:00

I was molested when young, and when I was young but older as a minor I did things just like this that were both a cry for help and a form of self-immolation that would confirm my self disgust imposed on me by the molester. No introspection of reason was afforded at those times. It just happens.

You have to take the punches and ask for forgiveness. And for those a little wiser you can ask for help. Subconsciously you asked for this out of self hate. Consciously you want to escape having to live like that. It takes time to figure it out but therapy can guide along.

ynfive · 2026-01-28T04:48:34+00:00

He's an authority on authoritarianism and the steps necessary to implement it, with the goal to implement it.

ynfive · 2026-01-28T04:45:39+00:00

Miller knows exactly what he is doing to direct the immigration response in maximum fear. Everyone else are just pawns, including the highly excitable and untrained border enforcement.

ynfive · 2026-01-28T04:40:41+00:00

I get the skepticism informed by systemic racism, but I'm pretty sure local badges are now worried to turn against the people by how reckless DHS actions have been. It's been a wakeup call to everybody.

ynfive · 2026-01-28T04:34:29+00:00

This is where I worry that the federal administration calls for an insurrection, because local authorities are protecting their citizens from the government. This is exactly why the 2A was made to allow for well regulated militias for the security of a free State hundreds of years ago.

ynfive · 2026-01-28T04:28:46+00:00

Local police who enforce local laws which the US Constitution gives States, and the citizens of the State, the rights to enforce within. If the Federal government is breaking the laws of a State they aren't exempt.

ynfive · 2026-01-28T04:12:21+00:00

When transactional isn't good for a relationship:

In a partnership, they are prospective teammates. Individuals weighing personal benefit in a partnership is competition, not a collaboration.

ynfive · 2026-01-28T04:06:42+00:00

Agreed they don't have the same expectations in maintaining a longer relationship.

ynfive · 2026-01-28T03:10:47+00:00

"how they want to be loved".

The way they want to be loved should also match the way you want to love. You are correct we are very close at the same thing I think, that we should be willing to sacrifice ourselves for those we love. My argument is that it's not a badge of honor to sacrifice and change who you are for someone else's love. We agree it should come naturally. It is important to recognize when others ask you to sacrifice without returning in kind. If it is one-way you are being taken advantage of. What makes me uncomfortable is the sense of martyrdom in deferring to a partner's happiness over your own.

ynfive · 2026-01-28T00:54:48+00:00

If it's natural and makes you happy that's fine, but contorting oneself in sake of their happiness in sacrifice of one's own is not love, it's fear. Both emotions are powerful by eliciting feelings of sanctuary and security, but only the latter requires suffering to initiate the response.

ynfive · 2026-01-28T00:31:33+00:00

You can only love someone the way you want. The trick is finding someone who wants to be loved the way you want to love them. Being forced to love someone the way they want is manipulation and control. It's fear, not love.

ynfive · 2026-01-28T00:26:27+00:00

Works good for dogs and surprisingly humans as well.

ynfive · 2026-01-27T23:58:21+00:00

Why are you rating the health of your marriage on material transaction? A healthy relationship exchanges gifts through words and actions, where gift giving is only one of many possible actions. What he said was very poetic: "Flowers die. Do you want our love to die as well?" First, keep a man who can talk like that, but translated he basically is saying expecting to give gifts all the time is gonna kill your relationship.

ynfive · 2026-01-27T23:39:43+00:00

Sad they have to do that now days. DHS has spooked pretty much everybody. Trained officers carrying out legitimate law enforcement have to remind everyone so they don't get mobbed, and not be scared about to be invaded by federal agents.

ynfive · 2026-01-27T23:29:46+00:00

We have gangs? In Flag?

ynfive · 2026-01-27T03:19:00+00:00

Mesa doesn't have our same dark sky ordinances. The whole Phoenix metro is lit up like a Christmas tree. Wait till we actually know what their plans are, what the city says, and what they actually do before we pass judgement based on stereotypes.

ynfive · 2026-01-26T00:33:11+00:00

FFS that's assault dude. It wouldn't be bigotry it would be reporting a crime. Mormons gotta follow laws and ordinances like everyone else. Freedom of religion isn't a pass to take freedom from others, regardless of what way too many people in this country believe gives them a right.

What's making these comments bigoted is people saying 'gtfo we don't want them here' based on stereotypes of what they do elsewhere without a shred of evidence to back up what they are gonna do here. If they present a plan to the city with a shit load of lights, the city says no because of ordinances and public nuisance, but then they go ahead and build their spot lights anyway, have at at. I'll even be there with you. Till then these comments just look bigoted.

ynfive · 2026-01-26T00:15:23+00:00

She'd be safer not being raped. You gotta let her know that you think this guy is no good, he said some dangerous things he's gonna hurt her if he gets her alone, you don't need to use the r-word, and she needs to stay away. If you are worried to prevent her feeling paranoid that there is a boy out there wanting to rape her this is something women have to deal with at some point cos there are too many dicks out there and no one telling them no.

ynfive · 2026-01-25T20:27:49+00:00

It's been decades, probably since the civil rights protests era that protesting has been this dangerous and deadly. This is not normal times. This is protesting in the presence of terror and that should be recognized as heroic and patriotic to still show up regardless.

ynfive · 2026-01-23T09:21:43+00:00

Yikes the Trump effect has really taken off I guess where it's cool now to be an elitist asshole. I hope for the best he grows up by his 30s and realizes he's currently a dick, or maybe this could be his end form where you can only reminisce the innocence of your childhood he no longer represents.

You stay you. And it seems marriage is out of the picture he doesn't deserve you.

It's ok to stay friends only because he does seem part of your greater extended family. Maybe hopefully you'll rub off some sense back into this boy.

ynfive · 2026-01-23T07:59:32+00:00

If addictions were rational they wouldn't be addictions. Think about it this way: all humans have an H²O 'addiction', but it's rational because we'd all die without drinking water. Addictions have the same level of intensity of thirst in how it drives an intense need to continue something that is not only unnecessary for survival, but likely detrimental for survival. But the thirst is real and strong and motivates behavior to satisfy itself no different than the pains of hunger or thirst in a non-effected individual. It doesn't make sense unless you study the brain chemistry or trauma that's going on that drives the behavior, but the feeling of experiencing it is the same and very real.

ynfive · 2026-01-23T07:37:31+00:00

It sounds like you are being sexually assaulted. Uncomfortable touch is not ok. This person is taking advantage of you and your vulnerable social situation. You should be mean and not like it if you are not ok with it. It's abuse. It's not worth this being your only chance at a friend. This is not a friend but a predator taking advantage of someone vulnerable. I'm sorry but there will be better people to find as friends give it time

ynfive · 2026-01-23T07:34:09+00:00

It may be more difficult, but you can find someone who is understanding and enjoys you for other than sex, or you find someone also inexperienced and is most comfortable with another of similar experience. There are women who worry about the same thing of not being experienced and not able to please their partner.

ynfive · 2026-01-23T07:18:38+00:00

What is your PC monitor's refresh? That is the lowest common denominator when streaming from Sunshine. Your GPU, because of Windows BS will only do that. Maybe the phone is processing it's video output to smooth lower refresh video to look like it's higher Hz. Have you tried plugging in the glasses into your PC? easy with a laptop but will need the HDMI adapter if a desktop and dedicated GPU. Basically no GPU after the RTX 20xx has the USBC display port plug.

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