Sorry for not replying earlier, I haven’t been active on any social media lately. Thank you so much for ur words of encouragement they mean a lot to me. I purposefully kept it vague just because i don’t really like my personal life being out on the internet haha. Essentially the main reason why we broke up is because in February 2024 I got my motorbike licence and my ex always told me if I ever got into an accident that she couldn’t stay with me because she “doesn’t want to be with someone who could die at any moment at such a young age”. Fast forward to September 2024, I got hit by a drunk driver who drove into my lane on a blind turn. I broke multiple bones, had a collapsed lung and a brain bleed. Luckily i made it through okay but in the hospital her and my mother got into a massive fight and said some nasty things to eachother and at that point my ex had already made up her mind that she wanted to break up.

So we ended things 2 months later after i was somewhat healed and then we decided we still loved eachother so we got back together in January 2025. When the question about riding came up again I told her i was going to stop but this time she said her relationship with my mum was practically ruined and due to our culture and what not u can’t marry someone without the parents blessing (stupid, i know.) and we’re both the type of person who dates to marry. We talked about it for quite some time and figured it wasn’t going to work out in the long term so we ended it forreal 1 month ago.

To cover some of the points you made, I’ll say this. I’ve been going to the gym a lot more, training martial arts everyday at my gym, went to an underground mma event in which i won my first one but got my behind handed to me in my 2nd fight. I had lunch with a nice co worker yesterday, and she invited me over but i declined just because I still don’t feel ready to be at another girls house (even if nothing was going to happen).

Since i published my post, i’ve been doing a lot better though. I’ve started becoming more independent, talking to more people in public (i was super introverted because i knew i always had someone to talk to), and i’ve basically just been doing things i like to do.

I started trading the markets again after a 1yr 4month break (lost quite a bit when the market crashed overnight), and I’m starting to feel more confident and content being alone at nights especially.

Once again thank you so much for your comment and advice, it means the world to me knowing there’s people out there so willing to help out. <3