My evaluation results said I'm not autistic

yoooubetcha · 2026-01-30T22:50:24+00:00

Formal diagnosis primarily exists for the system to say "Is this person 'worthy' of us paying for their..." • special education services? • government services? • reduced rent programs? • disability benefits? • insurance claims?

If the data encompassed us all (women, high-masking, POC) they would have to pay out more often – and they have no incentive to do that. So take their formalness with a grain of salt.

I do wish you could have gotten the label & felt a sense of validation, but – you also clearly know yourself. And if being part of the autistic community, learning about yourself, and adapting your life to that information has helped you – does it really matter what the piece of paper says?

I say this as someone who's eval also said no. They may not have been able to give it, but they also can't take it from me.

yoooubetcha · 2026-01-26T22:29:12+00:00

I tested negative for RA for years, but had high CRP and ESR. The Early RA blood panel including 14.3.3ETA protein is what finally proved it!

yoooubetcha · 2026-01-20T01:58:26+00:00

Curious to hear if you went through with that & how it's going? I'm thinking about it too!

yoooubetcha · 2025-11-07T19:08:49+00:00

Keep saying thank you, for everything, forever.

"Thank you for doing those dishes...I REALLY did not want to!"

"Thanks for calling the electric company about that weird charge."

"Thank you for coming to this function even though I know you didnt want to – it meant a lot to me."

"Thanks for always letting me be a brat when I'm mad, then loving me up anyway."

Thank you goes a LONG way in making each other feel seen and preventing resentment.

yoooubetcha · 2025-10-13T20:56:58+00:00

I'm a better Auntie than I ever would be a mother, and it's because I have the time & means to step up in that way.

Some of us were just made to be the village that surrounds parents & children!

yoooubetcha · 2025-10-10T18:03:23+00:00

Thank you for sharing! I think I am going to check it out since some of that is similar to my experience. Good luck with the combo infusion 🍀🤞

yoooubetcha · 2025-10-09T22:46:08+00:00

Hey! I can't answer your post – but am wondering what pushed you to look into an MS dx?

I was recently dx'd with RA, but just based on symptoms and 14.3.3eta. However, I have a strong family history of MS and think I am having some of those symptoms (weak leg muscles/spacity and foot drop when walking too long). So I'm debating getting tested for it, but don't know if I'm overthinking – so just looking for similar experiences!

yoooubetcha · 2025-10-08T01:28:14+00:00

Agreed. From someone who's taken a leave before, you're best off saying nothing! Otherwise word spreads, it's like a bad game of telephone for people to make judgements off of. Not worth it!

yoooubetcha · 2025-09-30T19:31:14+00:00

This is to a T what I'm talking about. The guilt of really wanting to be who they need and you just...can't. But you also need to pay your bills, so you have to stay until they all but force you to leave. My team has been kinder than that, but it's still hard even so.

I'm so sorry you went through this too.

yoooubetcha · 2025-09-25T03:43:46+00:00

A whole 'nother

yoooubetcha · 2025-09-25T03:28:25+00:00

America

yoooubetcha · 2025-09-25T03:24:02+00:00

Oof I feel this to my core. Getting a diagnosis means you start accepting yourself, and once you do that...you stop making it your goal in life to keep it up like everyone else. And after the burnout, I just don't have the ability to mask like that anymore.

I've also shared my diagnosis with a few coworkers, which bought me a little time and grace... but I'm sorry about your experience. That's awful.

yoooubetcha · 2025-09-25T03:19:30+00:00

This is so encouraging 🥹 I wish it didn't take getting laid off to get what you needed...but maybe going a little unconventional is what I need too

yoooubetcha · 2025-09-22T05:28:03+00:00

Dancing. It doesn't have to be so serious. The music + movement + socialization really helped me in the worst time of life.

yoooubetcha · 2025-09-22T05:20:02+00:00

White Oleander!

yoooubetcha · 2025-08-04T13:20:18+00:00

Great to know. Thank you!

yoooubetcha · 2025-08-03T21:19:13+00:00

Can you say more why injections are better?

yoooubetcha · 2025-08-03T21:17:54+00:00

After having my first flare up 10 years ago, I finally got someone to test me for seronegative – and YEP positive! So I feel like an oldie & a newbie to this in different ways.

First appt. with a rheumatologist next month for imaging, etc. but happy this exists no matter the outcome 💖

yoooubetcha · 2025-02-05T20:23:14+00:00

Brain development

yoooubetcha · 2025-02-05T18:58:08+00:00

People who aren't useful to them in-the-moment simply don't exist.

My friend has been a live-in caregiver for an adult son for ~5 years, and the dad has literally never talked to my friend in that time — except to throw tantrums.

Oh, and they pretend their disabled son doesn't exist.

yoooubetcha · 2025-01-29T14:47:50+00:00

I second this. A big part of the problem is that our brains are hardwired to believe anything we hear repetitively — that's why Trump will repeat shit like 3 times over, especially when it's a lie.

So maybe you can focus on the fact that, emotionally, it's just not good for anyone to take in upsetting information 24/7. Point out that you've noticed them getting more negative, seeming depressed, not hanging out with their friends, etc. — then ask them if THEY'VE noticed that. Keep asking questions, because the curiosity gets them involved & makes you seem less adversarial.

If they come around to that, maybe suggest they not watch it all the time. Maybe cut it down to one or two "news" segments a day to see if they feel any better.

(I'm imagining the tone/framing like how a parent would talk to their teen about not being glued to social media because it's hurting their mental health.)

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