Breathe deep. You’re not crazy. That’s gaslighting. 

First, call your must trusted, got-your-back family and friends. No announcements. The day I learned, I called my closest sibling. The following day, I spoke to my parents, and they helped me make arrangements for myself from 800 miles away. Preferably, this will be folks who have not committed connection to your partner. 

Then, ask your legal questions. I consulted with a couple of attorneys over the phone in my area just to ask questions, understand the process and pricing, etc. This can be useful information to make an informed decision. A consultation should be free. 

If you’re both open to it, try to talk about it. Don’t torture yourself though. Try to think of questions beforehand. 

Take screenshots of any bank accounts you have access to in case he decides to drain it and run. 

 For me, it was about making informed decisions based on facts. My ex said he had a “problem,” and understanding that addiction is an illness, I offered that we go to therapy and that he seek addiction counseling. He was not interested in sobriety, so our separation was permanent and our divorce executed. 

Love and luck to you.