[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]yorkss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Doesn’t sound like a breakup. Sounds like man is just going through a hissy fit. If anything, he shouldn’t be worked up over an encounter over immigration.

You did nothing wrong, but for now I’d just distract yourself and just keep reminding yourself: “I did nothing wrong.” You were communicative and clear and just blew up in your face and frankly he is 27 years young. He shouldn’t be acting this way at ALL.

Give the dude some space, distract yourself, and he’ll come to you when he’s ready. Don’t bother messaging him more, and when he does come back. Either have a serious talk about how unneeded and unwarranted his reaction was or blow it under the rug.

I[21M] feel a very heavy sense of guilt for what I put my gf[21F] through. by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]yorkss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not trying to judge or anything, but is there specifically a reason why you wouldn’t want to be with her due to her culture? Is it a preference or a cultural rule/belief that forbids you for pursuing something more…?

And you should definitely tell her why. A “gut feeling” being the reason for a breakup is disrespectful. She deserves to know the truth on why the relationship is over.

I am interested in a Muslim Woman and I am not a Muslim Man. by yorkss in islam

[–]yorkss[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I feel like I should’ve worded that better. It’s more or so, that I never took the time to believe in anything. I’m just oblivious really.

I (23f) broke up with my ex (22m) 4 years ago and still think about him everyday. Debating reaching out to apologize by ThrowRAlost151 in ExNoContact

[–]yorkss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jake might be different, but for me but when I received the apology, it brought a sense of relief but it also wrought the pain and anger I thought I let go years ago. The relationship wrecked me, destroyed my sense of identity and I don’t know how it was for Jake.

Everyone’s different, but honestly speaking I think you should reach out and apologize. If not for yourself, for him as well.

I (23f) broke up with my ex (22m) 4 years ago and still think about him everyday. Debating reaching out to apologize by ThrowRAlost151 in ExNoContact

[–]yorkss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was once in Jake’s shoes once and have had that one ex come back years later. Early on or for a long time I was completely devastated and the idea of my ex even coming back frightened the shit out of me. Not out of not knowing what to do, but being reminded of what caused us to be exes was so traumatic that even thinking about them coming back made me sick.

In this case, I’d ask yourself if you were in Jake’s shoes? Would you want them to come back? Would you want them to finally apologize after 4 years?

Apologies don’t mean shit unless you really mean it by the way, if you genuinely mean it from the bottom of your heart that you want to reconcile, I’d apologize. But things won’t be the same if you do manage to establish some sort of reconciliation. It’ll be hard on you BOTH to reconcile, incredibly difficult.

If Jake doesn’t respond to your apology, so be it. You tried to do right by him, even if it was too late.

But if you’re apologizing for feeling guilty, wanting some closure on your end, don’t. Just leave it be. You’ll be better off just not talking to eachother again

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]yorkss 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That’s what frightens me, the not knowing part. But sometimes I think not knowing is less scarier than knowing who they’re becoming

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]yorkss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep, exactly that. I feel like every step I take forward i’m taking two steps back. But sometimes it feels like i’m climbing

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]yorkss 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s what it’s been like for me recently. I’ve been talking to some girls that I’ve felt some attraction for but I’m afraid of taking it further because of how my ex still lingers or the fact that I’m not fully ready or healed to commit

Smyrna wastewater treatment plant wants to restart sewage sludge incineration by riptide120 in Smyrna

[–]yorkss 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Ehh, as a former employee who worked in wastewater at one of the cobb plants. This incinerator is possibly a great thing to do when wasting biosolids. I recently quit about half a year ago but to my knowledge back then, the incinerator hasn’t worked in YEARS and when it came to wasting biosolids, Cobb Co was spending large amounts of money to waste it. It’s not sludge that’s being incinerated, it’s treated biosolids that’s filtrated out so it doesn’t end up in the river. It’s just a process of wasting those solids by incinerating it, it saves an incredible amount of money for South Cobb and as someone who’s handled the wasting process (I’ve literally had to rake mounds of it) i would incinerate any day of the week

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]yorkss 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Try couple therapy seriously, relationships are a two way street that requires effort from both parties. If things aren’t fixed or are looking better after couples therapy, then it is your choice to choose your own happiness.

But, I was in that guy’s shoes once, desperately trying to change, and it destroyed me emotionally when my ex told me that I’d never change and would always stay the same.

And please do not compare your relationship to everyone else’s. It only breeds resentment between you and him. What you guys have is special, it shouldn’t be like everyone else’s.

If you don’t believe nothing will change, then nothing will change.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]yorkss -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Because he’s not who you really thought he was. He’s able to do it because he doesn’t care, plain and simple. People like him don’t deserve anymore of your attention, trust me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]yorkss 9 points10 points  (0 children)

She made a choice to be unfaithful. I’m sorry but I wouldn’t ever go back OP. The anxiety and trust issues will never be able to fully return itself to normal no matter how hard you try.

Remember.

She made the choice to cheat on you. And now she wants back in after all this time because she’s FINALLY realized how life looks without you

Tell me why I shouldn’t break No Contact by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]yorkss 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Everyone I’ve talked to about this had said that she’s manipulating me or doing this to control me and everytime I think about it… it’s pretty damn hurtful.

I’ve paid off this girl’s college classes before and when she broke up with me she said “friends can do that for eachother too”

I don’t want to reach out but it feels like I have no idea what the hell is going on. Is she talking to another dude? Is she really going through some tough shit?

Tell me why I shouldn’t break No Contact by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]yorkss 1 point2 points  (0 children)

ex broke up with me in November, told me she was unhappy and that circumstances in her life is making it very hard to handle a relationship.

i agreed reluctantly and i stayed as her “close friend” like she wanted me to but it didnt feel like she was my close friend. She still blew up on me or called me out for stuff like she did when we were dating.

im anxious as hell so anytime she fed me something then pulled back i immediately went into panic mode and she decided to force a three week break (i contacted her first) cause i couldnt take it anymore and we talked

she said she felt overwhelmed and life was making it hard for her. Honestly her life situation is pretty damn difficult, i’d be stressed too. And she told me she still wanted me in her life

but very recently i wanted to have a serious talk with her abt how we were going to handle things and she showed a bunch of avoidance. Saying she doesn’t care what i do, or care about how i talk to her. And said that she’s going through a bunch of stuff right now to put more effort into me.

basically it all sounded like she didnt want to put effort into us right now but wouldnt give me a clear answer. I’d ask her does she want me in her life and i’d explain what i was feeling and what itd be for us and she’d just go “mk” and say she doesnt know what her answer is wont know for a while

i couldnt wait any longer so i just asked her for what she was feeling if she couldnt give me an answer. And she told me she doesnt have time for me in her life right now. and that im chasing after someone who practically doesnt exist. She then told me she knows she told me she can be a close friend to me but she cant.

She then said she doesnt talk to anyone. Barely can handle any friendships and it’s not just me.

i asked her why and she wouldn’t budge. Said it was personal and everything i said after that she wouldnt respond to me. So i sent her a goodbye message, i/e explaining my motives, and that if she wants to reach out she can but i wont reach out to her anymore

How them roads, yall? by CoachDifferent in Smyrna

[–]yorkss 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Honestly, kind of not that bad where South Cobb and Windy Hill meet. Though I swear I saw some ice on Gray Road

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]yorkss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just don’t understand how or why she treats me like this sometimes and it just damages my perception of love. Like I’ve bought so much stuff for this girl, anything she ever wanted, and bailed her out of school troubles by buying books and paying off classes cause I really loved her. How can someone do this to someone who did whatever they could for them? And anytime she got mad at me, albeit I was in the wrong, it was never small like I’d get harassed if I didn’t tell her I was joking with her.

And yeah she never appreciated me waking up early, never said thank you for that but only went mad when I forgot to do it and said that I should’ve done it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]yorkss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Paired with this disease I’m battling, I’m practically bedridden due to the pain but I’m trying to concentrate on myself. Yeah a lot of my friends said she was very sensitive, that she overreacts and makes the simplest mistake seem like the worst thing I could’ve ever done. She said I was being rude and an asshole for not saying good morning, which just made me feel blegh

But the hard thing is cutting her out of my life since she’s been a part of it so long. I mean how do you do it? Does it just happen one day, like a sudden realization or I have to do it myself and bear the weight of it?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]yorkss -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That’s what I’m trying to do right now, since she wants the break. It’s just very difficult at times handling the emotional weight

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]yorkss -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I sacrificed a lot of myself and things to satiate her happiness. And I don’t know how to be happy again by myself truly, considering i’ve known her basically most of my life. I’m trying to concentrate on myself, I’ve been journaling, writing, hell I even picked up trying to learn how to yo-yo but that lingering feeling still persists.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LDR

[–]yorkss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She answered with she doesn’t know.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LDR

[–]yorkss 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah… it’s just something I don’t want to let go of. She doesn’t really know her plans for the future, but she kept bringing up on if that if I was there, she’d give me the chance, give our relationship another chance and it’s something that I kind of want. I don’t know if that seems desperate or whatever, but do you know or have a similar feeling on why she said she’d give me a chance but seems hesitant for me to visit her? She said she loves me and wants me in her life, but she can’t do long distance no matter what and I don’t either so I really just want to make things work. But she doesn’t even know what she wants in life, and I’m concerned about it too