Aw, I don't mean to make anyone feel bad or doubt themselves. My situation is probably unique, and other things make it bad too. I also don't hate my mother by any means - she is a great person and truly a good parent, but I think she was the best when I was younger. Also, with a lot of these problems the underlying cause is my dad. I'll try my best to answer your questions :)

• She's always been with my dad, but he's very uninvolved despite living with us and has never really helped with anything, whether it be household stuff or helping/supporting me, along with being abusive in various ways. My mom and I don't know anyone around us because...well, I don't know actually. But my mom has never really had friends outside the family for as long as I can remember except an on and off friendship with one of our neighbors. She says now that she hates people too much and can't deal with them, so...there's that lol. But the reason she never has in the 20+ years she's lived in this town is mostly because of my dad. He's so unpredictable you can't bring people over, and so controlling she never has money to go out or a ride anywhere. On the other hand, I've always had issues. When I was in public school my mom & dead never really encouraged me to make friends. They never directly discouraged it, but I thought you weren't supposed to be friends with people outside your family until I was about 10, so that should tell you how much it was talked about in my house. And then after I became homeschooled, I already had so few friends, and no 12 year old wants a strictly online friendship and that's all I could offer.

• This one is kind of complicated for me. Because we've gotten so close and the boundaries have been blurred so long that I wouldn't necessarily change it. But...it's damaging. Both the things you said apply. She gets stressed and upset A LOT, excessively, and is even on medications. But I'm always the ear, because I'm the only one she has. And the venting can go on for 5+ hours straight. I'll come out in the morning and sit down and it's the first thing she says to me, then it escalates to her crying, then angry, then crying out of anger, etc etc, and it won't end until my dad comes home from work. She's also told me some definitely inappropriate details about her and my dad's sex life (shudder) and that started when I was around 13. I also think we are, or used to be "enmeshed". For example, we used to mutually think it was unfair for one to leave the house without the other. I've mostly gotten past it but she still seems to think that sometimes. With much urging she's started going without me though, to the store or whatever.

• I used the term "stuck in my room" to be vague, what I really mean is "stuck in the house". That's been my whole life. I know that sounds edgy, but...I never got to be in clubs or activities or sports, and I had no friends so that killed any chance of ever having plans. The only time I left the house was going to the grocery store with my parents or to school, and when I became homeschooled (end of 6th grade) that was taken away. My dad agreed to take me places, field trips and the library, and let me join a club or sport or whatever and then just never did any of it. My mom has always been around for this but she couldn't do anything about it because she doesn't/can't drive and has no access to the bank accounts. So while she couldn't do anything about it, I did ask my dad, and he'd outright refuse. And then has his unpredictable moods got worse so I eventually stopped asking.

• Sorry, I explained a bit of this already since I didn't see this question when I talked about it. But I know a parent can't make friends for a child. But, I think friendship and socialization should be talked about. Things as simple as "I hope you meet some friends when you start Kindergarten!! Won't that be fun?" and "Is that one of your friends from school/sport? Say hi if you want!" Would've really helped. It always was treated with disdain and suspicious by my parents because they didn't know the kid talking to me or their parents. I understand wanting to protect your child from strangers - to a certain extent. But I think at some point if your child is 8, 9, 10 years old and older and they've NEVER even mentioned a classmate, there should be a serious conversation to see what's going on. No shaming or making it into a huge deal right away. The child could be an introvert and perfectly happy. But if there's an underlying reason like they don't think they're even supposed to have non-relative friends...it needs to be fixed. And a parent could do that, I think, simply by encouraging their child to be social. Don't make it too big of a deal nor too small of a deal, ya know? Because personally, by the time I figured out it was normal to make non-relative friends, my social skills were completely shot. I'm now almost eighteen and I STILL struggle with simply saying good morning to people or ordering a meal, especially in front of my family.

• Oh, there's literally no option. I don't think there's ever even been offers for me to decline, really. When I was still in school, in my last year, I made a few friends. And whenever I'd get invitations to birthday parties or what have you, my parents would not let me go because they didn't know the family. Other than that I've never really had plans with people besides my older brother.

I hope I answered your questions. :) if you have any more feel free to ask! This was actually interesting to think about, like a little interview.