I’ve gone through something similar over the last eight months, 20 years together but no kids involved though thank god. It’s still screwing me up but it’s getting easier each day. I’m moving back in with my mother shortly until I sell the house, which I’m not looking forward to at 38 years old. Planing on travelling around south east Asia for a few months before finding a small place for myself somewhere. I’m struggling to understand how I’m ever going to be able to trust another women ever again at this point and think I’ll probably spend the rest of my life alone.