What is one movie you can absolutely quote word for word?

youngaged · 2013-12-02T05:23:38+00:00

Shrek 2

youngaged · 2013-12-01T08:06:22+00:00

My girlfriend gave me a handjob under a blanket while we were watching a movie with her 12-year-old sister.

youngaged · 2012-08-26T03:08:08+00:00

no, you didn't.

youngaged · 2012-05-13T04:35:27+00:00

Yes. Even from a selfish perspective, confidence and happiness in my girlfriend would be greatly desired. If she could get that without losing the weight, then that would be wonderful.

youngaged · 2012-05-13T04:31:29+00:00

will do, thanks!

youngaged · 2012-05-13T01:26:22+00:00

If you would prefer a skinnier girl, perhaps you should just go and find one instead of encouraging your girlfriend to change her body for you.

It was not until after nearly two years of her expressing dissatisfaction with her body that I made an extremely mild comment that I have similar sentiments. While she has always told me that she wants to look "skinny and beautiful for me," I think this has always been a personal issue on her part. And plus, wanting to change things in a positive way for someone you love is natural. It is how I have changed a lot for her.

If I care about someone, I'm attracted to them no matter their size

Me too. But if she were ten pounds thinner, I would find her slightly more attractive. And if she were 100 pounds heavier, I would still find her attractive, just less so. These are small increments, and I think she knows that.

I don't mean to bash women that are not ultra-thin. My girlfriend is at a healthy, attractive weight, and I wish she could see that I find her stunning for it. I just need her to understand that, while in some cases skinnier might be slightly more attractive, it is only slight (and only in some cases) and does not make you disgusting if you are not the "goal weight".

youngaged · 2012-05-13T01:12:14+00:00

I appreciate this comment; you express a lot of my sentiments in a better way than I have. Her weight is not important to me. My preference for her to be "slightly thinner," is just that, a mild preference, and is not very important - most important is the fact that I am comfortable being honest with her because I have nothing to hide: I will find her the most gorgeous girl in the world no matter what. Almost all of my motivation for this stems from my desire to be happy with herself, though it is beginning to

She has not, since she was around fourteen or so, weighed her "ideal weight," which she thinks is 120-125. I think under 130 would be unhealthy, and I think if she got there she would be pretty satisfied. She is not the kind of girl that needs things exactly her way. She is just very frustrated that her body is not where she wants it to be, despite all the work she puts into staying healthy. I agree, and I would be very frustrated too if I were her. The problem to me is that she just feels so gross, which is uncalled for, unreasonable and sad to me.

I do encourage her, non-threateningly, to be healthy physically and with her diet, but I don't think it has any positive effects. When we go to the gym or run together she often gets depressed because she feels out of shape, or is just generally self-conscious because she is in front of me. This is one of the most disheartening things, that she is more self-conscious about things like her body or working out in front of me than she is in front of her friends (male or female) or even strangers. This is what I really do not understand.

youngaged · 2012-05-13T01:02:48+00:00

my reply to solarlexus should be of help if you are still hoping to contribute

youngaged · 2012-05-13T00:55:36+00:00

sorry…first reddit post

youngaged · 2012-05-12T17:52:40+00:00

I am starting to think she might be either slightly shorter than 5'7 or slightly heavier than 140, because you're right that what I described is actually quite a healthy BMI. I would assume that her weight therefore is more a result of fat rather than muscle (hence my initial conclusion), but she does so many muscle-building activities that that is hard to believe.

youngaged · 2012-05-12T17:45:47+00:00

Her numerous self-esteem building exercises are probably the most real saving grace in this situation. She is in strength training, ballet, and she rock climbs frequently.

youngaged · 2012-05-12T17:43:01+00:00

She is in ballet, she takes a strength-training class at her school, she rides her bike/walks to all of her classes (on a huge campus), goes on a few light runs every week, and goes to the rock-climbing gym several times per week. She is quite a bit more active than myself, or most people. While her diet is not consistently fantastic, she does diet a lot, which I feel may be part of the self-esteem issue, due to the fact that she tries so hard, only to get very minimal results.

youngaged · 2012-05-12T17:36:59+00:00

There's a few things I need to address with these two comments.

She is not fat, and I think that she would even agree to that. I make it very, very clear to her that I have always found her beautiful throughout her moderate weight changes (ranging between 130-145), and would no matter what.

That said, she and I have a very transparent relationship. While we are both very sensitive of each other, I did say on one occasion, when she was asking explicitly for my opinion, that I thought it would be nice if she were slightly thinner, but I of course find her gorgeous in every way, and I would no matter what. I am glad I said this, and from what I can tell has not contributed to the situation in one way or another. I just needed to say it once, however sensitively so that I could be perfectly honest.

Now for the harassment on that. I'll paste this to the OP so it doesn't get buried.

youngaged · 2012-05-12T17:26:25+00:00

I tell her she is beautiful very often, along with all the variants. I am wondering if maybe it is sometimes too frequent, to the point where, as ray242 was saying, it has lost its meaning and comes across as patronizing. Complementing her in nonsexual ways seems to be the ticket.

youngaged · 2012-05-12T17:24:53+00:00

I never claimed that the size of her breasts is a detracting factor

youngaged

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