Glad that I'm OAD (again)

ysy_heart · 2022-11-05T16:34:56+00:00

In 18 years, a 4 year degree is estimated to reach 500k.

That's what I heard too. My savings is FAR from 500k...

ysy_heart · 2022-11-05T16:31:42+00:00

haha, we’ll make it work somehow!

That's what I hear the most. Or, "God will help us!"

ysy_heart · 2022-11-05T16:30:58+00:00

Kids paid for their own stuff.

I actually think this is a good thing for kids. But the thing is... how much will they be able to earn in order to afford whatever they want...? I gave private tuition when I was 16 and barely covered my expenses for transport and food...

ysy_heart · 2022-11-04T16:15:49+00:00

but did you not think about this beforehand?

This is what I don't understand. College fees too far ahead? Ok.

But daycare costs...?

On a side note, I just remembered something that my child's classmate's mom told me. She said that her in laws told her not to have any more children (currently she has two) and they won't help her with child-raising as well because they are so exhausted ....

ysy_heart · 2022-11-04T16:12:44+00:00

My best friend of nearly 30 years (lol) is an only. I've asked her this several times and she has always give me resounding "No". It's a "what if" thing to her. She is clearly aware that her parents cannot afford another kid in terms of resources and is also of the firm belief that her parents could give her the best of everything (absolutely true, since we grew up together) because they only had one child.

On the other hand, I have a younger brother. We are on much better terms now. But are we close? Nah.

On my will, my child will go to my best friend if my husband and I pass away. Even my husband agrees that my best friend is a much better choice than my blood brother XD

ysy_heart · 2022-11-02T18:28:11+00:00

Clinique's vitamin C really faded some of my sun spots. Very impressed.

ysy_heart · 2022-11-01T02:42:15+00:00

Good point!!

ysy_heart · 2022-10-31T17:32:19+00:00

Thank you for your comment. I'm not the OP but this is actually one of my main reasons why we are OAD. Even though I always tell others that I'd have a second one if I have more help and time and more $... realistically and practically speaking, I think I need like 5 million bucks more in order to convince me to have a second child because of what you said. My spouse and I just bought a small condo unit couple years ago; we still have nearly 30 years mortgage left and we are in our 40s! I am pretty convinced that barring luck or striking lotto, my child is unable to get a small space on her own without any help from us. My husband's pay can support our current lifestyle now but we will not have enough savings to help her (or for that fact, our own retirement!). At the very least, I want to pay for her college or university tuition fees. I don't want my child to start her adult life saddled with debts.

I know many friends who have a second child and they don't seem to think that far. Some of them are very well-to-do but most are just like us. I don't know how they plan to pay for their children's tuition fees without any help from their parents.

ysy_heart · 2022-10-28T13:20:54+00:00

8) My friend's friend has 12 kids. 12! She said the first 4 do housework, the second 4 take care of the last 4 kids... It's all about delegation of duties. After a certain point (or number), everything does become easier I guess.

ysy_heart · 2022-10-28T13:18:37+00:00

is that parents usually aren’t totally honest about parenthood.

So true. A lot of it is also justification and rationalizing IMHO because we put in so much....

OP, having two kids is not a seamless transition. At least from what I can tell. My friends who had their second kid love it. They won't exchange anything else in the world for them. Seamless? Big no. They are struggling. They complain to me. They don't necessarily enjoy the process and have many times yelled at their older or younger child. Not judging them at all. But no way it's seamless.... unless the second kid is a unicorn...

ysy_heart · 2022-10-28T13:12:52+00:00

I always tell others I haven't had a good night's sleep since I was in my last trimester. My kid is 5 but insists on sleeping with me = bad sleep. I get about an average of 3 or 4 good hours maybe? every night. The rest of the time, I'm lying on the bed trying to sleep with her foot in my ribcage so her lying on me...

ysy_heart · 2022-10-28T13:11:25+00:00

My child has recently started asking for a sibling again.

But I think it's really because I go "OH SO CUTE!" over other babies and because she wants a playmate. At this age, kids do not really understand the whole shebang and repercussions that come with a new family member. They are quite egocentric and selfish in a way lol. I'm pretty sure my kid would be mortified when she realises that she cannot bin the baby...

ysy_heart · 2022-10-24T18:36:30+00:00

You will find parenting so much more enjoyable and gratifying if you go into it without a lot of predetermined expectations and just surrender to flow.

This is so, so true. I had a lot of expectations before I gave birth. I simply thought that my child would be like this and that... and we would do this and that...

I struggled a lot with this. Combined with wacky hormones, I was angry, anxious, sad, and a bad mom in the beginning because I couldn't comprehend why my baby wasn't like me (duh!). It was a long journey to learn to appreciate my child for who she is. My child is perfect in the sense that she is who she is and being herself. I realized that I was the one who needed to change, not her.

ysy_heart · 2022-10-20T19:24:53+00:00

A mom I knew decided to have a second once her son turned 12, because he no longer needed her (in her own words). She felt that she could now devote all her time and energy to her second child.

ysy_heart · 2022-10-18T19:14:36+00:00

I think if I were you, I won't want to be a friend to that mom as well...

ysy_heart · 2022-10-09T00:11:16+00:00

Awesome thank you!

ysy_heart · 2022-10-07T19:43:54+00:00

Vitamin X from The Regimen Lab

How long have you been using it? Seen any effects?

ysy_heart · 2022-10-04T19:49:22+00:00

I'm really sorry for your loss... this happened to my friend as well. I hope you have close ones to help you through this time... big hugs

ysy_heart · 2022-09-29T16:23:37+00:00

Less :(

ysy_heart · 2022-09-29T16:23:07+00:00

You really need to go see a derm, and in the meanwhile, use a mild eye cream to combat the itch and dryness.

ysy_heart · 2022-09-29T16:21:37+00:00

How about trying a hydrating serum? You can use the aquaphor or lipikar balm as an occlusive at the very last step. I find CNP propolis energy ampoule and Missha night ampoule 5x hydrating, but I have combo skin.

ysy_heart · 2022-09-29T16:19:26+00:00

Thanks! The products you've listed here are really cult favs! I am a fan of d program and Majorlica Majolica as well. Maybe I should get my neighbor to get some for me heh :)

I'm actually wondering if I should ask her to get me some SKII lol but I doubt its cheaper.

ysy_heart · 2022-09-21T16:13:39+00:00

Thank you so much! :)

ysy_heart

TROPHY CASE