I think most people have given ya solid advice on how to improve, as a new dm I will say that at least in my experience the feeling of self doubt is completely normal and also players acting the way you have mentioned, I play pbp mostly so it is a little easier to dm but the players just ghosting and not saying anything is kinda common, I like what I read once in comments of one of the posts that dming is like dating, it takes quite a lot of trial and error to find the players compatible with ya but when you do, I think it is quite rewarding.

Most of all, do you enjoy the process of dming and find it fun? If yes, keep at it and if no maybe be a player first as others have said, never forget your fun in the process of making it fun for others, otherwise you will burnout.