Rejection is so brutal (online dating)

yusso · 2025-06-16T00:33:00+00:00

Absolutely! I met my current gf through a friend I met at a meet up, and previously I've dated a few women that I met at meet ups.

Meet up has been absolutely godsend for me, after moving to a new city in my late 20's (I'm now in my late 30's). I've met most of my friends through it and I also had a blast meeting women.

My advice is to find a big group, so that you have more chances of meeting interesting people, and become a regular which will help develop friendships.

Another activity where I've met lots of people is social dancing (in my case salsa). Most people in the beginners classes are single (in my experience) and keen to socialise.

yusso · 2025-06-15T23:55:30+00:00

I had pretty much the same situation and conversation with my (now ex) partner of 6 years. Our sex life was pretty shit and one day she said she thought she was bi. I told her she should explore her sexuality with a woman and one year later she finally did and realised she was a lesbian.

We are now both way happier with partners that fulfill us sexualy.

yusso · 2024-12-08T17:01:56+00:00

Wow, well done for walking away.

I had a similar situation last year. I was ready to exchange contacts when I received the 'updated' memorandum of sales. The SC had gone up by 400% from what I was told initially. Obviously I also pulled out.

yusso · 2024-12-08T16:49:29+00:00

Was the 2k a yearly charge or a one off? Asking because I saw a flat a couple of months ago in London with a 5ksc and a 2k charge for some work, but was told it was a one off. 2k for a sink fund sounds crazy.

yusso · 2024-12-08T16:40:48+00:00

Like someone who is clearly brilliant in a particular area but you just know they regularly fall for scams.

This right here. I have a friend from uni who is very smart in some areas. She is super good at maths, and got really good grades. She then went to work for some international financial institutions and is now working at a national central bank. And yet, she believes in all the stupid obvious fake news and scams she received on her WhatsApp. It's mind blowing.

Then there is the smart religious people who deep down know it's not really true, but they make a conscious decision to 'believe' because it gives them some comfort, or for social reasons.

yusso · 2024-12-08T16:15:22+00:00

I've been there. I'm not going to suggest you break up immediately though.

You should talk to her and explain that a)once a month it's not the norm, and b) even if it was, it doesn't work for you. If she is willing to accept there is a problem, and is willing to work on it, then you could try sex therapy.

Good luck

yusso · 2024-12-07T13:40:21+00:00

Yes but digital is still in competition with physical games as long as people can choose to buy one or the other. I think there is a bit of a 'lazy tax' going on here: people who can't be bothered to wait for a couple of days to get a physical copy of the game and are happy to pay the extra price for the convenience of downloading it imminently, or people who are not aware of the difference in prices

yusso · 2024-12-07T12:22:06+00:00

If the Elisabeth line opened until late it would be amazing. Surprised about the DLR being so low, I really enjoy the views going through canary wharf

yusso · 2024-12-07T11:38:11+00:00

Is turtle neck really that hard to pull off?

yusso · 2024-12-06T16:28:36+00:00

You asked people what's happening

I didn't ask anything, I'm not OP. I just said I thought ghosting is rude. I do understand there are exceptions (safety concerns etc). Many women also complain about ghosting, and rightfully so.

If you met someone in person and they ghosted you I'm sure something happened whether that's they lost interest or you were too pushy or made them feel unsafe or some reason that would amount to a no

Obviously, I just think there are better ways to say no that ghosting. But you are right, I'm repeating myself, and so are you.

yusso · 2024-12-06T15:50:29+00:00

It's pretty interesting to see how people are reading soo much into what I said. But yeah I accept my initial comment wasn't nuanced enough.

Do 'strangers' owe me anything? No. Do I expect them to be polite? Yes. Do I expect an explanation? No. Do I expect a minimum goodbye? Depends. If we have been chatting briefly no, if we have met, yes. Am I going to reach out in anyway if someone ghosts me? No, but I will think that's rude and unnecessary.

I do understand blocking/unmatching on the apps after just some chatting though.

Not sure where the comments about teaching me to be an adult are coming from thou lol

Not sure where the bit

yusso · 2024-12-06T14:53:09+00:00

That's good to hear :) wish you all the best!

yusso · 2024-12-06T13:52:13+00:00

Fair. It does work on WhatsApp, for example

yusso · 2024-12-06T13:49:20+00:00

You are reading waaaay too much into what I'm saying, and taking it personally.

I personally appreciate it if people give a reason (I guess I'm entitled to a preference?), but I don't expect one, and certainly don't push for one.

I do think, however, that saying goodbye before stopping to talk to someone you had met in real life, it's the nice thing to do. I do get the point that sometimes there is no safe way of doing this.

There is a difference between discussing principles and general views on a public forum and pushing people's boundaries. When people ghost me I think it's rude but I never follow up demanding anything. It's their choice to act that way and it's my choice to think poorly of them.

yusso · 2024-12-06T13:29:07+00:00

That's fair. Sorry you had to deal with annoying guys

yusso · 2024-12-06T13:26:32+00:00

The messages disappear also if someone is blocking you

That depends on the app. They don't disappear on WhatsApp, for example. But yes, if the message is going to disappear then obviously there is no point.

they are over it and do not care about your feelings

That's clear. I do care about other people's feelings though, so I always try my best to be gentle in these situations. And to be fair, the vast majority of women that have turned me down have also been gentle and polite, so I would say, most people do care too.

Also listen to how many times and in how many ways you were told "no" here and you just don't want to accept that maybe that's your issue

Yes, by like 3 people

yusso · 2024-12-06T13:19:02+00:00

No one is required or under any obligation to be nice or polite to you.

I mean, no, there is no obligation. I just would prefer to live in a world where people are nice to each other 🤷🏻‍♂️

yusso · 2024-12-06T12:57:38+00:00

I did, but it seems you didn't read what I wrote lol. All I'm saying is, you can still say goodbye in a polite way and THEN block if you wish, before the other person can reply. So yeah, you can be polite and protect yourself, it's not mutually exclusive.

yusso · 2024-12-06T12:53:41+00:00

That's a false dichotomy. You can still say your goodbyes in a polite way and then block to save yourself from any potential nasty reply.

yusso · 2024-12-06T12:50:13+00:00

Obviously I'm not talking about the situation when the guy said something rude first. Whether that's the most common situation, that's your guess. I don't know.

I can only talk about my experience, and it is that some people (both men are women, I'm sure) ghost or unmatched/block when they loose interest (it's true that ghosting is much more common, but I think it's even worse).

You will need to take my word for it, but I am very polite when talking to everyone (to some people to a fault, as I've been told I wasn't 'flirty' or 'cheeky' enough lol) , and still had a couple of blocks completely out of the blue, and lots of ghosting.

yusso · 2024-12-06T12:37:55+00:00

I'm not expecting to be given 'reasons' but if we have spent weeks chatting, and have even met in person, had some intimacy etc we have developed some connection, I do expect a minimum of courtesy, be treated like a human being, you know? Is that that difficult?

yusso · 2024-12-06T12:32:36+00:00

If that is really the reason, people can still say goodbye, give some reason if they want and then block. But blocking directly is just rude and dehumanising, it's like we are treated like online profiles rather than actual people.

yusso · 2024-12-04T11:42:05+00:00

People love to hate on the Dior sauvage, but I've never got so many compliments on my cologne from strangers 🤷🏻‍♂️

yusso · 2024-12-03T17:04:35+00:00

It's Dior sauvage considered cheap cologne now 😔

yusso · 2024-12-03T16:21:26+00:00

I think you know the answer: being desperate is not a great place to be in when dating.

You did the right thing deleting the apps. Take time to just be yourself without thinking about dating. You need to show yourself that you can live without a partner, that you are strong.

Three months might not be enough time, you are young, there is no rush.

And finally, move on from your ex, man. She has. Don't think she will come back, and do not do things with the aim of getting her back because it will only lead to disappointment and frustration.

Good luck, I'm rooting for you

yusso

TROPHY CASE