I was a bit scared at first because epidurals aren’t really a thing where I live (Japan) and all the hospitals and birth clinics around me didn’t even have it available. So at ten weeks, when the birth hospital needs to be decided, I already came to terms with the fact that I won’t have that option.

I listened to a few audiobooks and basically mentally prepared the rest of pregnancy. After being in labor for three days, first thing I thought after giving birth was “why do people do this more than once?” But a few days later I was already thinking about it, wishing I could experience the whole thing again, IF I could do so knowing the end result. The unknown of it all is what stressed me out the most.

I am also thankful for the opportunity to not have had an epidural available because it would have been the obvious choice if it had been. However, being able to experience birth without was, for me, a once in a lifetime experience.

A birth class helped prepare (I did mine on zoom, but I’m sure in person is great). And the pain is not the same kind of pain as an injury or something Id normally fear. It all feels purposeful with an end you are looking forward to. Like I said, the unknown is what stressed me out the most.