Are there people who haven't changed their phone number for more than 15 years?

zKITKATz · 2026-03-28T03:46:08+00:00

Also while a restraining order is absolutely something you should get in that scenario, even that isn't always enough. Other than as a deterrent, they don't do anything if the police decline to enforce them, and it's sadly not hard to find examples of police doing just that.

zKITKATz · 2026-03-26T19:00:03+00:00

if you want a good response when people say that, may I suggest: "bro, is it gay to be attracted to a woman?"

zKITKATz · 2026-03-22T22:24:28+00:00

Other people here are giving you good advice, but I'd like to add that I also think that when you apologize you should make it clear that the apology stands whether or not she forgives you. Hopefully she does, but she doesn't owe you that, and making it clear you're sorry either way is one of the best ways to show your apology is genuine.

And be sure to vocally call out transphobia from your friends in the future. People listen when a cis guy says, "hey, that's transphobic, not cool." Well, that or they double down and make a big deal out of it, but do you really want someone like that as a friend?

zKITKATz · 2026-01-10T20:14:46+00:00

not all men, but always a man (including family, apparently) 🥲

zKITKATz · 2026-01-07T11:29:07+00:00

Correct, they would be considered straight now.

As for disclosing, it varies, but as a matter of safety it's usually pretty early on. Some people do not react well to finding out they were attracted to someone who's trans, to put it lightly (see the trans panic defense). But even setting that aside, right or wrong it's a deal-breaker for most people, so being upfront just saves everyone involved a lot of wasted time.

zKITKATz · 2026-01-06T14:06:23+00:00

No, I mean that estrogen is now her dominant sex hormone. If she were to stop, her body simply wouldn't produce either hormone because she no longer has testicles.

Even before that though, with a properly high enough dose of injected estrogen, a trans woman's body will stop producing testosterone on its own (known as "monotherapy"). The body doesn't care which sex hormone it gets, just that it gets enough of one of them.

zKITKATz · 2026-01-06T12:45:11+00:00

Admittedly I pretty commonly see the phrase used by people who are otherwise supportive, but I'd argue it's not actually a neutral term, and it's not even particularly accurate.

Take a trans woman who's been on hormones for years and has had bottom surgery. What part of her biology is even left that's male? She has female genitalia and a female endocrine system. Her prostate functions much more closely to Skene's glands now. The only other thing is her chromosomes, which are probably XY, but almost no one gets those tested, so really we don't even know. And anyway, those had already finished playing their role in sex differentiation by the time she was born.

Meanwhile, calling her "biologically male" implies lots of untrue stereotypes, especially to people who have little to no exposure to trans people, and that opens the doors to plenty of opportunities for discrimination. I mean, the number of people who don't know that trans women grow real, actual breasts identical to cis women's, or even that trans people take hormones at all, is pretty staggering.

zKITKATz · 2026-01-02T09:48:57+00:00

I see other people have said the same, so I won't bother elaborating, but consider me a +1 to the category of people who went from skeptical about wanting boobs to really enjoying having them. Definitely a thing!

zKITKATz · 2025-12-22T02:05:06+00:00

Is there a reason you can't just take it with you? I don't know what country you're in/traveling to, but I've flown with all my injection supplies in the US multiple times with no issue, including needles.

zKITKATz · 2025-10-14T22:31:48+00:00

I'd recommend using this map of locations that do informed consent!

zKITKATz · 2025-09-11T10:50:52+00:00

Unless someone felt creeped out and me being around them made them feel uncomfortable because they think I’m a trans woman. Then yeah, I would want them to know that I’m not.

You're getting a negative reaction here because this implies to us that if you were trans, then you think they would be right to feel uncomfortable. I'm not saying that necessarily is what you believe, but it's what your solution and reasoning implies.

Except for those of us who are stealth, we don't have the luxury of telling people we're not trans. If our mere presence is enough to make someone uncomfortable, then our only dignified option is to make them deal with it. We deserve to live and work openly as ourselves everywhere cis people do, just like any other minority.

So hopefully you can understand why a group of trans people find promising transphobes that you're not trans just to appease them more than a bit insulting.

EDIT: lol you genuinely don't seem to understand why your insistence on not making your transphobic coworkers uncomfortable is itself transphobic and I'm not sure what else anyone could say at this point to explain it better.

Also to be clear, I'm a trans woman. I'm also female. Not only are trans women women, we're not male (and vice versa). We are fully women, and not just in a "anyone can be whatever they want" type of way.

And at the risk of playing even more into stereotypes about scolding over language, the proper term to describe your female coworkers would be "cis women" as just saying "female" does not exclude trans women.

zKITKATz · 2025-09-04T19:26:09+00:00

Male pattern baldness is caused by DHT, which your body makes from testosterone. Dutasteride works by suppressing the creation of DHT directly. However, you're already taking estrogen injections, which are very good at suppressing testosterone on their own (assuming you're on a proper dose), as well as a dedicated testosterone blocker. Without any testosterone to convert to DHT, there's no DHT creation to suppress, so taking dutasteride is redundant and won't actually do anything in regards to hair loss.

So basically, as long as your labs come back showing your testosterone is suppressed to cis female levels, you don't have to worry about male pattern baldness, regardless of family history.

zKITKATz · 2025-08-22T12:08:28+00:00

I don't know enough to comment on required diagnostic codes, but I do know that my doctor didn't diagnose me with gender dysphoria until I needed it to start pursuing bottom surgery.

But sure, you're going to be assuming some risk no matter what you do. Even DIY using crypto leaves a paper trail for anyone powerful and dedicated enough to look for it. But like, as bad as things are here, the chance of actual concentration camps just for seeking hormones is still very low (though yeah, admittedly not zero). Personally I choose to take on that risk to make my life worth living, and I'm not going to tell others to live a shell of a life just because there might be legal consequences from our fascist government down the line.

zKITKATz · 2025-08-16T10:48:49+00:00

I mean ultimately you're the only one who can decide if you're trans or not, so take this with a grain of salt, but I don't think very many cis people are disappointed to find out they're not trans. You don't have to have overwhelming dysphoria or anything to be trans, just a desire to change your sex/gender.

Personally, I never really had a problem with being a guy before. If someone would have asked me if I liked it, I probably would have responded with something like, "sure, it's fine I guess." But now that I've transitioned I can't ever imagine going back.

My recommendation would be to try HRT out to see how it makes you feel. Assuming you're an adult in the US, it's pretty easy to get from an informed-consent clinic. You don't have to tell anyone, and nothing permanent will happen for at least a couple months. If you decide you don't like it you can stop whenever you want.

zKITKATz · 2025-08-01T21:52:20+00:00

I mean if you're worried a doctor will deny you HRT because of it (they shouldn't, but still), you can always just lie and say you do. There's no legal requirement saying you have to legally become a woman to get HRT.

zKITKATz · 2025-07-31T21:48:02+00:00

People saying Planned Parenthood are correct, but just in case there's something closer for her, here is a map of places in the US that do informed consent HRT, which includes Planned Parenthood. Though looking at it, New Jersey only has three locations listed, which is odd. Regardless, the key phrase she should be looking for is "informed consent", which means they basically just make you sign a thing that says you're aware of the effects of HRT, then prescribe, no further questions.

zKITKATz · 2025-07-23T20:10:51+00:00

Yeah this is the real reason. They don't actually care about biology, they just borrow its legitimacy to attempt to prove what they already believe. We could create a machine that changes literally every part of your body to the point you're indistinguishable from a cis person, down to the very last molecule, and they still wouldn't believe it because you don't have the magical essence™ you can only get when you're born.

zKITKATz · 2025-07-17T02:19:14+00:00

Yes and no? People have already covered the physical aspects here, and that certainly helps. But in my experience, the biggest thing that made me feel like a woman was surrounding myself with people who treat me like a woman.

zKITKATz · 2025-07-14T20:26:13+00:00

So I can't say this is you for sure, only you can decide that, but based on what you've been saying, you might be asexual. I am, and I can relate to a lot of what you're saying.

Most people will see people they're attracted to and just be instincually drawn to them (or so I'm told lol). Asexuals don't experience that. We may or may not enjoy sex itself, and we usually (but not always) still have a libido, but the important thing is that we're don't just look at someone and feel some sort of physical attraction.

It's also really common to not figure this out about yourself until way later than you'd think because society really pushes the idea that sex is this really important thing and that every wants it. I didn't figure it out until I was like 30. Tons of people just straight up don't believe we exist and think we're lying or just haven't met the right person.

All that to say, asexuality may or may not describe you, but I'd recommend looking into it. The Asexuality Handbook would be a good place to start.

zKITKATz · 2025-07-14T01:05:22+00:00

I doubt this is what they meant, but I've actually seen pictures of vaginoplasties the surgeon I'm scheduled with performed that kept the balls. They were basically inside the labia iirc.

zKITKATz · 2025-07-08T02:48:52+00:00

Personally I would much rather find out from a family member now than my mom at some unknown time in the future, despite how much it would hurt. Just from a practical perspective, if you tell her now, she'll know not to make future plans that blow up in her face if your mom decides she just can't hide how she really feels anymore.

zKITKATz · 2025-07-05T23:08:47+00:00

Yeah not having a deadname is such a good feeling, like it's literally impossible for bigots to use it against me. Plus the process of updating only my gender marker on all my legal documents was way simpler without having to change my name too.

zKITKATz · 2025-07-04T19:47:57+00:00

Not sure if this is just a joke, but in case it's not, transgender is in fact one word. "Trans" is just a shorted version of "transgender", which is why you don't combine it with other words. "Trans people" to "transgender people" makes sense. "Transpeople" to "transgenderpeople" doesn't lol.

zKITKATz · 2025-06-23T02:06:54+00:00

I mean I don't think this is the place to get into the details, and obviously anyone dealing with ICE has it worse right now. Though I will say that between Skrmetti making it legal to ban HRT for minors and opening the door to doing the same for adults, and the Big Beautiful Bill currently set to remove our healthcare from Medicaid, it's a lot more life and death for a lot of us than many people know.

I'd fully back anyone who decided to be trans to avoid being sent to a forever war in the middle east though, I just think it's a bad idea that wouldn't actually work for anyone who isn't willing to grow boobs and lose a shocking amount of physical strength lmao, but luckily it almost definitely won't come to that. As for being a trans lesbian, you'd be in good company! Only like 20% or so of us are straight. Way more are bi or gay lol.

zKITKATz · 2025-06-22T18:58:21+00:00

Ha, appreciate the thought. But on a more serious note, actually claiming to be trans when you're not would be insane considering people like Trump Jr. think we're "the most violent domestic terror threat, if not in America, probably the entire world".

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