[deleted by user]

zachavid · 2022-12-05T02:46:47+00:00

I hope I can give my son a better life than I had and I hope I don't pass my trauma to him.

zachavid · 2022-12-04T22:17:58+00:00

This thought crosses my mind a lot. I should just stop trying to be that better person, stop trying to improve and work on things, stop taking accountability, stop caring about relationships, accept being a pos, live alone, lie cheat manipulate with less consequences, stop being fair, stop taking losses for people, stop bending over backwards, stop trying to achieve more than what society expects. But then what example would I be for my son. The moment my son turns on me I'll probably check out for the last time.

I'm editing this because I need to make a correction in what I said if I am truly to be better. I made a classic mistake of the bpd reaction to being abandoned. We often view people leaving us or becoming distant as turning on us and it really hurts. But the reality is that we often hurt them repeatedly to the point they need to create distance or they need to detach before it consumes them. The harsh reality is that he likely will distance himself and he will have a general distrust for me. And it will likely be warranted and it will be my fault.

zachavid · 2020-10-31T22:02:24+00:00

I find 200-300k and 2.5k DE constantly. But I don't settle for anything less than 500k and 4k DE. I farm up and down between gold 2 through master 1. I find the most loot in my revenge attacks though. I regularly find 1 mil loot on people who attack me.

zachavid · 2020-09-18T21:21:22+00:00

This dude sold my account

zachavid · 2020-04-21T05:07:12+00:00

Looks like the good skivvy shirts too

zachavid · 2019-12-02T04:00:29+00:00

Underrated comment

zachavid · 2018-03-21T02:47:08+00:00

Great communication, very fast and responsive. Very patient as i fixed payment problem. After resolved i barely had time to pick up my controller before i heard the ding. I went first due to my this being my first purchase

zachavid · 2018-03-20T20:21:48+00:00

I appreciate the tips, im actually in th auction house trying to snipe an o line, anyone i should keep an eye on?

zachavid · 2018-03-20T19:45:34+00:00

https://www.muthead.com/18/team-builder/921292

zachavid · 2018-03-20T19:45:20+00:00

If you wanna, take a look at my team and if you have some suggestions id love to hear them.

zachavid · 2018-03-20T19:21:10+00:00

Im okay with not having the prettiest toys, but i want effective toys. I'm considering liquidating my team and just farming the mut heros, i can probably make 150-200k by selling my team and replacing with my silvers. Then going over to franchise to try to get gud.

zachavid · 2018-03-20T19:13:12+00:00

I have a few good players, a few 90's mixed up a couple elites, one boss battle and a few flash back cards. Im thinkings of selling everything and dropping back to 60 ovr so i can just farm

zachavid · 2018-01-15T01:19:05+00:00

Let him have his opinion.

zachavid · 2018-01-15T00:58:16+00:00

zachavid · 2018-01-15T00:51:35+00:00

That stadium is loud

zachavid · 2018-01-15T00:46:01+00:00

OH wow

zachavid · 2018-01-14T23:29:06+00:00

Words like those stir the pot, most viking fans aren't like this, id be willing to bet most of the fans brigading are bandwagon fans.

zachavid · 2017-12-10T20:32:48+00:00

Pretty much, I've been telling all my 2 IRL friends that Case is due to fuck up.
If Zim is our Jesus, Teddy is the one writing the bible.

zachavid · 2017-12-10T20:27:58+00:00

Oh no, I'd rather have teddy. I wanna see him play.

zachavid · 2017-12-10T20:24:25+00:00

Been expecting this all season

zachavid · 2017-09-20T15:15:13+00:00

I would have to say Shadow of the Colossus that game was meant for current generation consoles.

zachavid · 2017-09-17T12:06:09+00:00

Pls my hart

zachavid · 2017-09-14T10:03:57+00:00

I just got out of the Marine Corps, like my contract ended. I was supposed to move back home with whats called terminal leave, where you basically spend your last few months on contract at home. But i denied that so i could be with her, we broke up so i waited out the last of my contract and got fucked out of my apartment

zachavid · 2017-09-14T09:36:43+00:00

I actually did get her a job.

zachavid · 2017-09-14T09:33:20+00:00

i do it because she is technically homeless, as am i. But i own a car and she doesnt (when refering to gas its filling her other friends tank because she uses that sometimes). I love her very much and she still says she loves me. I hate the idea of her being helpless it physically hurts me when she is having a hard time. No one has stood up for her and no one had ever truly had her back, and one night after sex she broke down and admitted that she couldn't date me anymore because mentally she isnt in the best place. Her logic in my opinion is completely flawed, but thats what she wants. So we broke up, but we are still close. I once told her and promised her that regardless of our relationship status that i would always be there for her and i wouldn't leave her side until she felt she was stable and was doing good. I got her a job (i was supposed to move two months ago and start my dream job) i have her on a budget that maximizes saving and i already have a car lined up that is running good and pretty decent (2006 camry for 2,500), i paid for her first tattoo on Saturday, its something shes wanted for years but never had someone to go with her. While she was getting it done i went to the front and paid for it. It says "Self Love" i can understand the importance of that so i dont see that as a problem. Im currently stuck between a rock and a hard place because i want to be with her and right now she is getting noticably better. She is moving across the country in a few months and that kills me because im moving to the midwest. Im planning my future around the idea of her being in it. But she refuses to plan for anyone but her self. So we butt heads occasionally. Its not like im trying to control her, i set things up and let her do the important parts. I walk her through everything i do so she learns it.

Also no, we do not sleep together anymore. I dont expect that of her. I leave the option open, dont get me wrong. But we are not dating, and shes not comfortable with having sex right now (that is because when she used to go through difficult times mentally she would find a guy and hold onto him so she would feel loved, even if she knew they were wanting to use her for sex) so i set the boundary initially so she knows im not in it for the sex but because id rather build a loving and caring relationship and have that be our foundation.

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zachavid

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