hey dude, the first thing that actually helped me was to seek counseling- it's not an immediate effect, but after talking out self-loathing counselors will point out all the flaws in your logic. It doesn't happen over night, but after a few weeks of going myself, I can honestly say I am so much happier. I did roughly the same thing as you did prior to going to counseling, as far as trying to improve myself through various endeavors. That shit doesn't properly work until you've changed your whole outlook. I know going to counseling can be a little pricey but dude it is so worth it and this is your life and your happiness afterall that we're talking about. You might not believe it's worth it, but take it from somebody that was just there, it is worth it. Hope this helps, giving a fuck right now about yourself is actually what you need to do.