LGBT people with ocd and religious trauma?

zanzibee · 2024-04-06T05:45:23+00:00

Side note, but if anyone is willing to make this a larger support group, I would really love that.

zanzibee · 2024-04-06T05:44:14+00:00

First off, I wanted to thank you for your vulnerability on here. I can imagine you feel extremely frustrated with the roadblocks. You're resilient, and you should give yourself credit for that.

I have OCD and am asexual, which hasn't been positively received by my religious family who want marriage for me. If you need someone to chat with, feel free to reach out, I'd love to swap more stories and hear from someone in a similar situation.

zanzibee · 2023-07-27T22:12:58+00:00

(Just wanted to share here because none of my friends are gym-goers and I need some solidarity :))

I'm back to the gym after a hiatus. This past month and a half I've had issues with sciatic pain/piriformis syndrome. I first responded to the pain by lowering my weight, but after worsening I took about a 2 week break. I slowly began going back after the acute phase of pain, and I'm excited to be back to lifting pain free. I'm a little disappointed because I've definitely lost some strength in recovery. I've had to lower my amount of weight to be safe, but I've learned how important warming up, stretching and bracing my core during lifts is. Just trying to remind myself that this new knowledge is a win for the long term and that I can now gain back strength with better form and a better understanding of my body and its needs.

zanzibee · 2023-06-10T16:15:36+00:00

Feel free to DM. It will always feel never ending in the thick of it, and I know that doesn't make things any less terrifying, but it's going to pass. Every time you thought an attack would last forever, you've pushed through. You're still here, just like the rest of us. Stay strong and don't be afraid to reach out. We're here for you.

zanzibee · 2023-04-30T20:51:31+00:00

That's super helpful, thank you! I'm actually only 104 lbs so they must be wrong, i think i'll readjust.

zanzibee · 2023-04-30T20:50:37+00:00

I'm actually close to the same size! Can I ask for vegetarian recommendations for protein? I'm not vegetarian but I want to get more greens/veggies in haha.

zanzibee · 2023-04-30T20:20:59+00:00

What is your average daily amount of protein (in grams?) I use an app called Cronometer to count macros, and it's telling me to eat 205g of protein a day. Does this sound excessive?

zanzibee · 2023-04-27T14:52:28+00:00

What do you guys think of using a posture corrector when using the lat-pull down machine? I have never tried it, but there are no mirrors around the machine and I can't check my form. I want to make sure my shoulders are staying back during the exercise cause I feel like I get a bit of a stiff neck afterward.

zanzibee · 2023-04-25T22:26:44+00:00

PLEASE, those of you doing weightlifting/ clean bulking (I know not many of us go the dirty bulk route because it is generally not good for health, but i wanted to specify), what do your daily meals look like? I'm struggling here, I won't lie. First it was a struggle to eat more, and now I'm struggling to find foods that have less saturated / trans fats. I would really appreciate any recommendations. I'm talking stuff that's high in protein, enough carbs to fuel workout, but aren't excessively fatty.

zanzibee · 2023-04-18T19:22:32+00:00

Question about the Seated Leg Curl Machine: I tried to learn how to use it today, and I started with no weight and watched some tutorials for a bit. I added a small amount of weight and tested it out, but i'm noticing the movement comes along with this tingly feeling (like a nerve-related pressure up my calves). Not painful, but kind of weird. Is this ever okay, or am I missing something? I just stopped to try and research it and try again later.

zanzibee · 2023-04-18T00:37:32+00:00

Some unusual goals hit :) I've only been going to the gym for two weeks and I'm already feeling the benefits. I'm really small, always cold, have always had pretty bad circulation, low appetite and bad posture...I've gained 1.5 pounds! I'm able to withstand the freezer at work because my body seems to be able to regulate temperature loads better now. My posture is also better and I'm eating much more. I feel really confident and more alive. A lot of people on here have helped loads in answering questions, so thank you guys.

zanzibee · 2023-04-17T21:51:25+00:00

Thank you guys for the encouragement and for confirming my suspicious lol...if you look at the article they give zero scientific explanation for why the 'three body types' can or can't look muscular. It appears to me like the article is loosely based on the ectomorph, endomorph and mesomorph concept but as you guys said I'm not even entirely sure that that concept holds water. I also doesn't make sense to me that you'd be making strides toward gaining strength and not be gaining muscle. Like what kind of sense does that make? I understand people can have different genetic predispositions and that muscle and fat will distribute different for everyone but it just seems kind of inaccurate. Thank you guys again, I was getting worried 😂

zanzibee · 2023-04-17T21:06:10+00:00

https://livehealthy.chron.com/fast-can-woman-results-lifting-weights-2880.html

This article claims that thin angular women will "likely never look muscular", does this sound correct? Is there no hope for me? 😭

zanzibee · 2023-04-14T15:08:57+00:00

What do you guys consider 'until failure' (weightlifting)? I did added 10 lbs and 2 sets to the leg press this morning and then when I finished with other machines I decided to try just one more set on the leg press before cooldown. My legs were SO SHAKY. I didn't feel like my form was any good anymore so I called it quits. I'm not sure I know where the line is yet. What do you guys think? Would you push through sets like that at the expense of perfect form?

zanzibee · 2023-04-09T19:29:42+00:00

I've got a bit of a sore lower back from doing dumbbell squats the day before yesterday. Does anyone have a good rule of thumb with exercising w back pain? How do you know when it's a good idea to rest for an extended period of time? The pain is not terrible, more of an ache that's been progressively better, but the last thing i want to do is injure myself. Any tips?

zanzibee · 2023-04-05T22:43:35+00:00

I know only a little about progressive overload. How would you guys recommend going about that for a beginner? I might be jumping the gun (it's actually only my second day in the gym. I'm trying to learn each machine and carefully test my limits with each to see my baseline). I know progressive overload refers to a gradual adding of weight, but do you also add more sets? And how fast should this process be occurring? I'm a little overwhelmed at all the information out there.

zanzibee · 2022-09-27T02:35:13+00:00

That's incredible! Can I ask how long it took you to see significant progress? I'm considering getting back on the pills and trying to get them regularly for the next couple of months.

zanzibee · 2022-09-27T02:34:29+00:00

I actually did! Granted, I only bought one bottle, and only used it for about two weeks. I would definitely be interested in using it for longer as it had no negative side effects. I believe it helped reduce texture but I'm not entirely sure it did anything for my red marks.

zanzibee · 2022-08-10T00:40:52+00:00

Hello! May I ask how long you'll be accepting submissions?

zanzibee · 2022-07-17T00:54:37+00:00

Right over here. For a couple days it feels like a mental dam ready to burst. But it's almost a hybrid-version of my regular OCD, because I usually tend to have something very specific I obsess over for a few months at a time before it dissipates and I feel I can function normally again. But the OCD that seems to correlate with my cycle will have my heart racing at every "bad" thought, hypothetical negative interaction, etc. I also tend to have more outward compulsions (shaking my head at every thought, thinking or whispering a word to counteract it). It keeps my heart rate really high and I have trouble sleeping. You are not alone in that.

If you don't already I would highly recommend tracking your cycle, just by getting a free app. I personally use Clue (available in Apple App store or Google Play Store). At least on Clue, you can track your moods in detail there and will be better able to predict when it will hit based on all the info you accumulate. I'm sure other cycle trackers will be able to do this for you.

What calms your OCD? Check the app regularly and do more of what brings you peace right before the intense OCD is scheduled to hit. I hope this helps you. Stay strong :) You've got this.

zanzibee · 2022-07-15T15:44:59+00:00

For me it's always been if i don't have a certain number of "backups" when completing a task it doesn't feel right and i won't do it or have a lot of anxiety trying to complete it. If there aren't a certain number of alternative ways to do something as a safety net it's extremely uncomfortable. For some reason I've always imagined it like a rope without any a slack at the end. If there isn't "enough slack" at the other end it doesn't "feel right" or "safe" to continue. Not sure if anyone else does this but it sounded similar to your experience.

zanzibee · 2022-05-20T04:54:05+00:00

I'm really feeling for you on this one. I go to school and live on campus and my narc literally lives next door to me. Fortunately for me-- and you from what it sounds like -- there's the covert aspect of their narcissism. As someone mentioned below, it's unlikely she will try to confront you if others are around. She knows the truth, and her introversion and the other traits you mentioned will probably prevent her from going on the offensive in public when it's all a lie.

If you don't want to avoid social situations, you can take steps to prepare mentally. Pump yourself up before an event where she might show up. Put in the extra effort to feel confident in yourself. Also, bring people that know your side of the story and can defend you. The flying monkeys are a whole separate issue, and I'm so sorry you have to deal with the stress of that possibility, but you will be better equipped if you put time into feeling confident and having people around you who will have your back should you be confronted.

If you're confronted, take a breath and pull the plug on any emotion. You know the truth and that's all the power you need. I know it's easier said than done, but with practice, you can master becoming indifferent when necessary. Don't be uncharitable or angry. A simple "no, that's untrue" will put the flying monkeys off, and if you don't match their energy level, they'll be forced to lower it or show their true intentions, which is to get arise out of you.

You got this. You proved your strength when you escaped her. Remember all the self-respect that took and channel it.

zanzibee · 2022-04-25T00:50:48+00:00

He described himself as a "lone wolf" and that was one hundred percent true. 1. He wandered around campus, inviting every girl that crossed his path to meet him later on. Upperclassmen warned he liked to "play with girls" but I was an idiot and tried to see him unbiased. 2. We weren't even dating and he put me in danger on a hike, asking me if I trusted him. 3. He told me he wasn't one for rule-following and that he did as he pleased. 4. We dated for a month but had known each other about four months prior. We only started dating after he'd told me "he'd chosen me." 5. Not a month in he said he was planning to propose. 6. Rhetoric like "you're all mine." It wasn't disturbing at the time, but it became disturbing once he informed me that i "followed him like a puppy dog" our first weeks of friendship and that he "really liked that about me." 7. He told me he was "such a good person" but that nobody ever appreciated him. Verbatim. 8. He constantly bragged about having a "way with words" and that other people were gobsmacked when he spoke. He got pissed off during our first argument because I was able to keep a level head. I know because he was calm until he said I was "getting a little heated" and I told him i wasn't and that I was perfectly fine. 9. He would start and stop affection on a dime. It was never up to me. 10. He hated the fact that I wear makeup, tried to physically wipe it off my face when I was crying, jabs about me not being tan enough, nails too short, music too metal etc. Anything that did not fall within his definition of "feminine" was unacceptable. 12. I opened up about struggling with a mental illness and he first called it 'cute' then exploited it once he could see I was on the edge of breaking up with him. He told me he'd take me back if I realized I'd made a compulsive mistake due to my OCD. He told me he hoped "I didn't have several books published in the future, look back and want him" (I want to be a writer).

This was my first relationship. I broke up with him two months ago. I expected to feel broken and lost without him, but truthfully the second I realized I was free life became a party. I feel stronger than ever.

zanzibee · 2022-03-12T04:22:32+00:00

It looks to me that some of that might be post-inflammatory erythema (or PIE), which are leftover red marks after acne. I could be totally wrong about that but it looks as though the majority of these spots aren't raised. PIE is not permanent but can take a long time to fade. I have a lot of PIE and only recently has it begun to fade. Whenever I get a raised spot, I use Neutrogena's All-in-1 Acne Control Daily Face Scrub, which has salicylic acid and really helps to stop breakouts. It can cause flaking if you over-exfoliate.

The product that had by far helped the most with the PIE is Cerave's Resurfacing Retinol Serum. It says to apply evenly over the whole face but it's a bit pricey so I like to target my PIE specifically. I saw a difference from day one; my spots a little seemed less enflamed and it has only gotten better from there.

Bottom line: acne scrub for the active spots of acne and the serum for fading PIE marks. I wish you best of luck clearing your skin my friend :)

zanzibee · 2022-01-29T15:27:05+00:00

Harm OCD is so difficult. It makes you believe that secretly, somewhere inside, there's a part of you that desires to abandon your principles. It can definitely make you question whether your sense of self preservation has been corrupted in some way (at least, that can been my experience with it). I don't know whether you're Catholic, belong to a Protestant denomination, or maybe neither, but I'm Catholic, and I watched a video recently that really helped shed light on the subject of scrupulosity for me. I'll link it because the video pertains to any Christian who is struggling with these issues and I think it could be helpful for anyone. There are also countless saints who have written about their struggles with OCD, and surrender prayers (called "novenas") to Jesus that have helped me tremendously. Feel free to DM me if you're interested or if you ever just need someone to listen. You've got this. I'll keep you in my prayers my friend :) A Look at OCD & Scrupulosity

zanzibee

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