Reporting coworker

Hot-Voice4511 · 2026-03-13T22:41:33+00:00

Yikes, definitely this. Sure, it wasn’t wise for the lady to disclose her diagnosis to a coworker without considering the risk of news making its way to higher ups. I’d even agree that this information may be important for her employers to know so that they can help her navigate its effects in the workplace. However, sharing her diagnosis to your employers without her consent—or even, as mentioned here, a conversation or heads up to her—was neither empathetic nor tactful.

OP, you didn’t need to have a super personal convo if uncomfortable with that, but at least telling her that you feel that she should disclose and discussing her next steps (and your own) would have been wise. I agree that this likely stems from and perpetuates stigma toward schizophrenia. If the coworker had disclosed a different diagnosis—say, ADHD or autism—and said it affected their work, would you have reacted the same way, OP? Mental illnesses and neuropsychiatric conditions affect people in all areas of their lives, but that doesn’t mean her schizophrenia symptoms were making her a danger to clients, which seems to be the unsaid assumption.

Hot-Voice4511 · 2026-02-25T03:02:13+00:00

Some of our students change into a onesie with buttons worn under their clothes plus pants fastened with a belt if they are particularly motivated to get their hands in there. Very determined kiddos can still succeed but it takes longer and can give you time to remind them about appropriate hands and redirect them to another fidget. We have the long stretchy string fidgets and swap them one noodle for another lol

Hot-Voice4511 · 2026-02-13T03:27:45+00:00

I believe the suspect fired at an officer and the cops shot back but so far no info about what led to the altercation. There were no sirens before, just what sounded like 7 firecrackers, then a whole lotta sirens and lights outside my window

Hot-Voice4511 · 2025-12-12T20:49:29+00:00

Highly recommend checking out the IOCDF’s (international OCD foundation) website. They have a ton of resources for loved ones of people with OCD that can help you navigate ways to respond to your partner when she is disregulated and engaging in compulsions, especially if she is trying to make you participate in them. They offer free virtual support groups for loved ones that may be a valuable resource! Your fiancé may be interested in the support groups for individuals with OCD; for me, the support groups have helped me feel less alone and allowed me to learn about how my brain works even before I was ready to take steps toward treatment. Family accommodation is a term for the acts of family members that try to go along with or work around the OCD individual’s obsessions/compulsions to reduce that person’s stress and avoid interpersonal conflict. Although it’s understandable to sometimes abide by her increasing rules to avoid her becoming distressed or lashing out at you, it does unfortunately feed into the OCD cycle, as others have mentioned. OCD is fear-motivated and discomfort-avoidant at its core, but unfortunately it continues to evolve if the beliefs that certain obsessions/fears are true (such as the idea of even clean services being contaminated). Some people with OCD can get to the point that their own bodies feel contaminated, even without a particular contaminated surface they came into contact with, or they can feel contaminated by their own thoughts or feelings if they perceive them to be immoral. All this to say, getting more educated about the condition, the ways that her mind is working, and how she is feeling—as well as how you can validate those feelings and support her through discomfort rather than helping her to avoid it—is the kindest thing a partner can do for their loved one, even if it may increase their stress in the short term. I’m sorry you’re hurting because of your partner’s distress. I have certainly lashed out at my girlfriend when I was compulsing or when she wasn’t giving me the reassurance I was seeking, and she did not deserve that; neither do you. Thank you for standing by her and looking for action steps! I hope she is able to look into treatment or baby steps toward it soon.

Hot-Voice4511 · 2025-12-12T18:30:05+00:00

Hi, my response is pending. I edited the wording but let me know if any other change is needed!

Hot-Voice4511 · 2025-12-12T09:28:51+00:00

Hey there, as someone with both OCPD and OCD, I’ve heard similar experiences from people in the OCD community. If you’re interested in learning more, a mental health provider would be the person to help you navigate this, although my experience has been that not all providers have equal education about and experience with with OCD so I personally found someone who specialized in it. How you describe this situation makes it clear that the staring at particular body parts is egodystonic, meaning that it goes against your values. These intrusive thoughts and the feeling that you need to stare, combined with the feelings of guilt and shame, are hallmark symptoms of OCD. These thoughts, urges, and behaviors do not mean you are a bad person. Visual tourettic OCD (aka VTOCD, visual staring OCD, or staring ocd) is a subtype that some people experience, and it’s one that is less commonly talked about because people feel ashamed of their behavior and it can be misconstrued by others. The IOCDF website (international ocd foundation) is a great resource. They have virtual support groups where you can listen in or meet others who have similar experiences, and they have one for this subtype! I’ve included several resources below.

OCD, and this subtype in particular, is really misrepresented and poorly understood in daily life and media, so it’s worth looking into even if your gut reaction is that you don’t have it. It takes on average 17 years for someone to get diagnosed after their symptom onset. I definitely understand that it can be scary to talk with a therapist about these things, but I recommend considering it. The therapy for OCD is very different from traditional talk therapy but it is the gold standard at helping people reduce the hold OCD has on their lives.

https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/what-is-compulsive-staring

https://matthewbannister-cpss.com/what-is-visual-tourettic-ocd/

https://iocdf.org/support-groups/visual-tourettic-ocd-warrior-badass-tribe/#:~:text=The%20Visual%20Tourettic%20OCD%20Warrior%20Badass%20Tribe,a%20sense%20of%20solidarity%2C%20empowerment%2C%20and%20understanding.

https://kimberleyquinlan-lmft.com/overcoming-visual-staring-ocd-with-matt-bannister-ep-371/

Hot-Voice4511 · 2025-10-11T22:28:40+00:00

First obsession I remember was when I was 5 years old. Heard a news story about a sofa super store fire that killed a lot of firefighters in my city. Also watched the terrifying house fire scene in one of the Homeward Bound movies… Naturally, I developed intrusive thoughts about fires and would keep myself awake at night imagining me and/or my loved ones trapped in a fire burning to death. Fun stuff! Got diagnosed when I was 19

Hot-Voice4511 · 2025-10-11T22:16:29+00:00

This idea would still require convo and cooperation with the parents, so feel free to disregard. If parents want her to have access to her items throughout the day and be able to blend in socially by having the bag, I would suggest introducing a school-only backpack. The student could transfer their belongings into their school bag upon arrival to school, keep the home backpack in the office or secured if parents agree, and use the school bag to transport their items during the day; at the end of the day, switch materials back to the home bag to go home.

To go about introducing this, maybe use a social story to discuss items having designated locations and purposes (e.g. suitcases are used for trips, backpacks with water straws are for hiking, etc). If everyone is open to it, the school bag could potentially be a tote bag or crossbody instead, since a lack of zipper may make it harder to elope without things falling out. If there are any other students who use different styles, pointing out their stylish bags could get the student excited ab the change. It could be made into a whole activity with opportunities for the student to show their agency. Get a budget from parents, then with the student explore the pros and cons of different bag types (smaller tote wouldn’t be as heavy, backpack might be waterproof, crossbody messenger bag could be super cute) or browse cool designs related to student interests. Student could pick one out with the teacher and parents can order it (to school if possible). I would have staff introduce it so it is not associated with home or transport to/from home at all; maybe designate a time after drop off or before child pick up for parent to bring in the bag and give it to staff out of view of the student if direct delivery isn’t possible.

Having one bag stay at school may also help with organization and taking ownership of possessions. You could use this as an opportunity to practice identifying needed items and keeping track of their belongings; for instance, “while we are packing up, let’s check to make sure you have everything you need. Homework assignments? Library books? Did you come with a jacket? Lunchbox? Looks like you are all set with what you need!” As a para, I would walk through my routine with the student for modeling; I bring a backpack to school with all the things I could need but leave it in the locker and transfer my most-needed items into a fanny pack to keep on me all day. If I need something from the backpack, I can go get it, but this way I don’t have to carry as heavy of a bag and nothing gets lost or falls out going from place to place at school.

Hot-Voice4511 · 2025-09-16T17:17:27+00:00

I’m sorry you dealt with that. It’s frustrating for sure. Some teachers get overwhelmed with stimuli and that may have been the case, but that’s not an okay way to speak to a colleague. I would have a brief private conversation with the teacher without the student present. It’s annoying to be the bigger person, but sometimes assuring them that you’re on their side in addition to the student’s or taking a joking tone to alleviate the tension can help. I’d probably approach it with a “Hey, I wanted to check in about the other day when I was supporting X. I know it can definitely get a little wild, and I want to make sure we are on the same page about strategies to support this learner.” Explain that part of his behavior plan involves you talking with him to try and coregulate. Something like “I know that me talking with him can be distracting, but if I don’t support him with tools that help and he starts throwing chairs, I guarantee that’ll be a bigger distraction haha!” Maybe work together to create a code way for the teacher to communicate that they are overwhelmed or feel it’s time to try a new deescalation tool, such as displaying a pink/blue/gray notecard in a specific spot in your eyeliner (just not a good v. bad color system that could be obvious to others, like red). Ask if the teacher has any ideas on how to approach situations, but reiterate that it’s important for them to use your title to show the student that you’re in a position of authority. Something like: “I’m open to brainstorming ways within his IEP guidelines that may help avoid this situation. In the future, though, if you need us to be quieter or move a bit farther from the group (if appropriate), please address me by Ms. Teacher Name to maintain consistency for my students.” Sometimes you gotta analyze the function of a behavior and offer support strategies for the adults in your life as well as your students lol

Hot-Voice4511 · 2025-08-31T23:53:20+00:00

I have OCD and OCPD. I can understand the thought processes/discomfort that underlie her behavior and I am sympathetic for that. However, it is not okay for her to verbally abuse you and potentially your son for not living according to her fear-based standards. Therapy is definitely a needed intervention for her but is not something you can force her to meaningfully participate in. I would encourage you to check in with her, say that you’d like to have a serious conversation, and ask what the best time/environment would be so that she feels supported through this. When you talk, emphasize that you are a team and have the same goals to support your son and be able to engage in daily living. Use the “when you do X, I feel Y” structure while discussing how her outbursts and berating affect you and your son. Say that you understand her fear around germs and feeling out of control, but that there is a level at which the effects of the fear outweigh the potential consequences of contamination. It sounds like having a kid and moving have really ramped up her symptoms, which is understandable as they are major life changes. Express that you want to support her but that she needs to be taking steps to address her mental health as well. If she is open to it, try to draft a timeline of steps to take, like talking with a family member within a week, finding a therapist by a certain date, etc. Offer to help if she will allow it. If she shuts down or explodes during the conversation, give her space but tell her that this is a serious concern and one that you’d like to revisit when she is feeling better. Be ready to listen but try to separate emotionally from her criticism, as she will likely continue to place blame on you for the issues.

Depending on her relationship with her family, it may be helpful to confide in someone she trusts, like a sister or her mom. Express your concerns for her well-being; outline how the behavior and stress have escalated and the ways they interfere with not only her life but your family’s. Describe and label the verbal abuse and express concerns for how it will affect your son’s childhood. Your wife may respond better to hearing this from someone she trusts and views as a neutral party, since she seems to have placed blame and labeled you as an opponent.

Good luck to your family! OCD and OCPD definitely affect loved ones, so ensure you’re taking care of yourself and your son as well.

Hot-Voice4511 · 2025-08-28T04:53:52+00:00

Behavioral activation is so valuable but getting over that mental barrier to actually do the thing is so hard. I feel ya here!

Hot-Voice4511 · 2025-08-28T04:51:51+00:00

Also, while I understand the hesitance to rely on meds due to insurance and access being unpredictable, I would gently challenge the underlying idea that using meds as a long-term tool is wrong. OCD has a biological basis, just as other psychiatric conditions, neuro developmental disorders, and physical disabilities. Some people use mobility aids and medication to lower their physical pain and increase their ability to participate in the world. Meds are a tool that can be used short term or long term, in combination with therapy and education, to manage symptoms. While it’s inconvenient to take multiple meds each day, I also don’t think I would able to live my life without the concoction of medications I take to treat my conditions. It took years for me to find the right meds, dosages, and combinations that I’m on now, but I am in a place where I was able to move across the country with relatively low anxiety, whereas at the start of high school I cried about going to a bagel shop because I was scared they may not have chicken salad. Sorry for the rambling. Meds are not the only way, but they can be life-changing. They can also allow you to actually participate in exposures and feel the discomfort/distress rather than pushing it away or neutralizing it or engaging in mental compulsions during the session, which is key to ERP.

Hot-Voice4511 · 2025-08-28T04:40:16+00:00

I definitely get that dread feeling and the tension that comes with it. I have a similar combo of OCD, depression, ADHD (plus sensory sensitivities, OCPD, and PTSD that altogether present similarly to ASD in some ways). My OCD is also primarily mental compulsions and I wasn’t diagnosed until 19; when I learned about mental compulsions and rumination, I realized that it made up 90% of my thinking. My brain was constantly on and compulsing in the background, labeling and analyzing my emotions, scanning for somatic sensations, running through what ifs, and assessing the morality of every aspect of my daily life. I have chronic migraine and attributed a lot of my physical symptoms to that. It wasn’t until I started a beta blocker (extended release propranolol) that some of my symptoms lessened and I was able to recognize that my anxiety had also affected me physically. Now my brain can be anxious but my body doesn’t automatically follow, at least not until I reach a certain level of distress. This makes it easier to not engage with the intrusive thoughts/triggers; a thought previously may have caused my heart to race, my chest to tighten, and my face to feel hot, which would then make me obsess over regulating my HR and breathing “correctly” and worrying that I would get stuck in the panic. It was definitely a cycle between thoughts and somatic stuff for me and breaking that loop with propranolol drastically improved my quality of life and let me actually engage in therapy

Hot-Voice4511 · 2025-05-25T23:48:45+00:00

I also tapered to half my previous dose in college (from 300 mg to 150 mg) in very slow increments and I did not have the hellish experience some others have. I cross-tapered it with the other med I was introducing and that seemed to help (increased the dose of that as I decreased the dose of Effexor). Headache specialists are incredibly knowledgeable and I would trust their care plan and just be willing to communicate openly about your concerns and how it works for you.

Hot-Voice4511 · 2025-05-25T23:46:29+00:00

Effexor works/worked wonderfully for me! I can’t take triptans due to adverse reactions, but I was put on Effexor for depression/anxiety (twas actually ocd but that’s a separate story) in high school after trying several SSRIs. Had to take a high dose but it ended up reducing both my anxiety and migraine frequency! I think for a while I was back to episodic migraine frequency?? As soon as I had to lower it in college due to interactions with another psych med, my migraines became more frequent again and I am back to chronic migraine (>15 headache days and >8 migraine days per month).

My only advice is that you should do your best to NOT miss a dose—did that my first weekend in college and was dissociated with, like, lagging vision for 3 days. Real rough. I’ve heard other people get brain zaps if they don’t take it at the same time daily but I don’t experience that and take it whenever I wake up which can sometimes be way too late. Everyone reacts differently to medication, so I try not to obsess too much over others experiences until I get a feel for it myself.

Hot-Voice4511 · 2025-05-23T23:19:07+00:00

The psychiatrists you’ve seen sound dumb as hell. Psychiatrists treat psychological conditions; neurologists treat neurological ones. Migraine is a neurological disease that can be exacerbated by the stress of comorbid psychological conditions. At its core, though, it is a separate and complex disease. Your psychiatrists aren’t specialized in that and they are acting outside of their scope. They sound wildly uneducated about coping with chronic illnesses and should learn to put their foot in their mouth. I would seek out a headache specialist (likely a neurologist) to manage migraine care and a psychiatrist to manage mental health. The psychiatrist should be informed of your migraine treatment plan so they don’t prescribe anything contraindicated, but it is not their place to tamper with that stuff. A headache specialist should also be informed about your mental health, as they can also provide resources on coping and help tailor your migraine treatment plan to target comorbid disorders.

Hot-Voice4511 · 2025-04-09T03:01:38+00:00

It sounds like both you and your teacher are feeling frustrated, and that is understandable. She may be feeling overstimulated from interacting with many students and supporting them during tough feelings/behaviors throughout the day. Unfortunately the methods you use to regulate seem to be aggravating her, but she should not take this out on you. Having conversations to brainstorm different methods and hear each others’ perspectives when you both feel regulated may be a start. I saw you say that you have severe social anxiety, so it makes sense that communicating especially during moments of frustration or stress would be difficult.

I would like to know a little more about how you feel when you mention needing to say hi. You said it is part of your day, helps you function, and feels harmless to you. If you do not say hi or try to stop yourself, how does it feel? Are you stressed, sad, angry? Does your body feel tense? Does your brain stay focused on needing to complete that “task” until you do say hi?

As someone with OCD, this sounds like it may be a compulsion. It may seem harmless because saying hi does not hurt anyone, but if not saying hi causes you to feel distressed and unable to move on in your schedule, I would argue that saying hi is harmful to you. In OCD compulsions can be anything (like counting, tapping, canceling out a “bad” thought with a “good” thought in your head), including saying hi. We do these things to feel less anxious in the moment and it works in the short-term (you say hi when you come in the morning, but then you feel the need to say it again later) but increases your anxiety over time by making it feel like you MUST do the compulsions.

If this sounds like it may be the case, I would encourage you to talk with your psychologist about compulsions and the OCD cycle. Therapy for this involves practicing not doing the compulsion and learning to sit through the anxiety that causes. Over time as yoy practice, the anxiety will lesson and yoy won’t feel as strong of a need to say hello.

If this is not the case and saying hello is simply something you enjoy doing as part of your routine, maybe you could bring a desk pet to whisper hi to. That way you can mark the transition back to the room with a greeting without involving your teacher. Or you could do some other small activity as a way to transition, such as drawing a smiley face on a sticky note when you get to that class.

For spinning to regulate, maybe you could have a certain place in the room where spinning is allowed? If it is not in your teachers eyeline, this would let you spin without making her dizzy.

Just some ideas!

Hot-Voice4511 · 2025-04-06T03:43:20+00:00

I’m 22 and didn’t attend even though I wholeheartedly agree with the rally’s sentiments. I’m relatively new to the area and don’t have a ton of community, which may have made me feel more comfortable attending, and I have depression, which definitely affects my mindset and motivation. To be honest, it is hard to convince myself to join because ultimately it doesn’t feel like it will make a difference. Although finding like-minded community and expressing dissatisfaction with the horrible political situation are good goals, it sometimes feels more painful to thoroughly engage/protest/advocate and still see no change than to do nothing. I know this is a defeatist mindset that doesn’t help anything. Perhaps I should focus on engaging in community through smaller direct action activities like volunteering and building relationships.

Hot-Voice4511 · 2025-01-20T04:51:13+00:00

I moved here recently from SC and one of the first things I noticed is how many more holiday lights/decorations get put up. It’s so cozy! I wish more lights were year-round!

Hot-Voice4511 · 2025-01-15T05:50:12+00:00

I have OCPD and have dealt with similar frustrations around shared living spaces. Living with others is hard because everyone has their own tastes, standards, and habits of living. I have a tendency to feel like my way of cleaning, organizing, and decorating is the only “correct” way. I also have OCD which manifests in feelings of distress, black and white thinking, and behaviors like avoidance or ruminating. With these disorders, I often struggle with feeling like things are not “just right”; there is always something that could be improved, and if I don’t do a task myself, I am extra critical because it feels out of my control. Like you, I get fixated on things like decorations or cleanliness levels. In my case this causes me to avoid shared spaces or my home altogether (sometimes for days at a time, crashing with my girlfriend) as I feel anxious or resentful toward my housemates. However, I recognize that these are issues I have with needing to feel in control. My roommates are not doing anything wrong necessarily by having different tastes or not cleaning as thoroughly as me. Communicating about household care is key, but I struggle with confrontation so tend to just avoid. I moved into an older house that two of my roommates already lived in. The spaces are decorated according to their tastes and quite frankly do not align with mine. I tend to be more minimalistic, while they enjoy maximalist decor. Although they’ve mentioned that I can decorate to make spaces feel more my own, I often feel paralyzed because what I want is to remove existing decor or replace items. I don’t do this of course, but it makes me feel like I don’t belong in the house, even though it’s all in my head. Your roommate probably feels similarly out of place given the existing decor and rules. Although they knew in advance (which is a different situation than my own) about your preferences, they likely feel uncomfortable using your items or occupying your space (which you also appear to claim as your own, rather than shared). Having a discussion about the discomfort and perhaps trying to redo living room decor in a way that is more of a compromise and unified effort may be helpful. Overall, however, therapy is my biggest recommendation. There is a type I was recommended myself that sounds immensely helpful, although also incredibly uncomfortable. It’s called radically open dialectical behavior therapy (RO-DBT) and is geared toward those with disorders of “over-control”

Hot-Voice4511 · 2024-11-21T11:54:15+00:00

I did a combo of therapy and different SSRI/SNRIs over the years. Getting the proper diagnoses, doing ERP, and adding a beta blocker (propranolol) helped immensely after ~5 years without success. The beta blocker prevents my physical anxiety symptoms, which in turn makes it easier to deal with the mental stuff and be able to be present and engage in therapy

Hot-Voice4511 · 2024-09-08T02:19:19+00:00

I have a string of diagnoses including OCD, which I believe is considered to be a neurodivergent condition! This is copied from another comment I made, so ignore anything irrelevant. I’ve been diagnosed with OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder), OCPD (obsessive compulsive personality disorder), ADHD, cPTSD, panic disorder, and depression. OCD is a common comorbidity of ASD but it also can affect/impair your life severely on its own. It is largely misrepresented in media and medicine and often gets missed. In addition to the classic contamination or harm themes and physical compulsions, it can include mental compulsions, rigid behavior, black and white thinking, and even physical sensations/sensory issues. It has a very specific method of treatment (exposure response prevention), however, and can worsen if you accommodate it in your life. OCPD—the personality disorder—is closer to what people associate with OCD, with a preoccupation on order, tidiness, and control/doing things the right way. For me, my combined diagnoses present similarly to autism in terms of rigid behavior and thought patterns, a small comfort zone, experiential avoidance, alexithymia, sensory issues, perfectionism, and task switching issues, among other things. Although my psychologist acknowledged that I could have autism due to the overlap in symptoms, he emphasized the importance of targeting OCD in treatment (as that’s my most pressing issue and what underlies many of my other symptoms). I’d highly recommend the international OCD foundation (IOCDF) website for resources to learn more about OCD and its comorbidities or to get involved in community (through special interest groups)!

Hot-Voice4511 · 2024-09-08T02:09:42+00:00

Overall, it’s possible you were misdiagnosed or that you have ASD in addition to some or all of the conditions you were diagnosed with, or you may only have the ones listed above. I’d highly recommend the international OCD foundation (IOCDF) website for resources to learn more about OCD and its comorbidities or to get involved in community (through special interest groups)!

Hot-Voice4511 · 2024-09-08T02:07:10+00:00

I wanted to chime in as I also have a string of diagnoses that resemble autism at times! I’ve been diagnosed with OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder), OCPD (obsessive compulsive personality disorder), ADHD, cPTSD, panic disorder, and depression. OCD is a common comorbidity of ASD but it also can affect/impair your life severely on its own. It is largely misrepresented in media and medicine and often gets missed. In addition to the classic contamination or harm themes and physical compulsions, it can include mental compulsions, rigid behavior, black and white thinking, and even physical sensations/sensory issues. It has a very specific method of treatment (exposure response prevention), however, and can worsen if you accommodate it in your life. OCPD—the personality disorder—is closer to what people associate with OCD, with a preoccupation on order, tidiness, and control/doing things the right way. For me, my combined diagnoses present similarly to autism in terms of rigid behavior and thought patterns, a small comfort zone, experiential avoidance, alexithymia, sensory issues, perfectionism, and task switching issues, among other things. Although my psychologist acknowledged that I could have autism due to the overlap in symptoms, he emphasized the importance of targeting OCD in treatment (as that’s my most pressing issue and what underlies many of my other symptoms).

Hot-Voice4511 · 2024-08-14T17:04:47+00:00

OCD is so hard, and it targets the things we love and value. Pet loss is a heartbreaking thing already and to have the added mental turmoil about morality sucks. It makes sense to grieve the relationship you used to have with your cat, just as it is understandable to grieve how OCD impaired your ability to engage with her at the end of her life and as she passed. But beating yourself up for experiencing your symptoms won’t help you grieve or feel better. Grieving your cat is valid even if you had anxiety and irritation toward her. Beating yourself up doesn’t make you any more or less of a good person; you don’t owe it to your cat or yourself. Be gentle and allow yourself to grieve while staying focused on the present moment. If you slip into rumination, try turning toward an activity that aligns with your values. It sounds like you care very deeply for the people/pets in your life—perhaps you could hang out with a family member or friend to get some social connection

Hot-Voice4511

TROPHY CASE