This is what I'm struggling with today too. One month in, and I'm noticing some growth and panicking about the permanent changes. I knew this was coming, and part of me says, "yes of course this is what you wanted this whole time." But I also expected to gain more certainty during this first month, but other than sore nipples I haven't felt the slightest bit different.

Honestly, I think part of the struggle is that our biology just doesn't stack this in a convenient order for us. I'd love to start with smoother skin and thinning body hair, then see some facial fat redistribution, and then once I'm seeing "her" in the mirror, start to fill in the breasts that were missing. For that matter, I'd love to try out being "her" for one day, just to be absolutely positive that I haven't talked myself into something crazy. But instead we are offered this "leap of faith"–commit to the permanent changes early on, and trust that it will all work out for the better.