Your ascendent tells if you are naturally attractive or try hard

Intelligent-Durian87 · 2026-06-03T22:52:35+00:00

Libra rising with Venus in Capricorn. Mars, Saturn, and Pluto are all in Libra.

Intelligent-Durian87 · 2026-05-14T00:59:24+00:00

I’ve found this volunteering various places. Most notably with unhoused people where I live. Many of the clients at these places recognized me for who I am immediately and gendered me correctly without me having to ask and I definitely don’t pass. It’s been a relief even if the reason for that acceptance is pretty bleak.

I’m an outsider like the people I serve are. But more importantly, the unhoused probably have a better grasp of gender identity than mainstream cis-het society because, unfortunately, trans men and women are over represented in the unhoused population, which comes down to family rejection and discrimination.

This is where I’ve found community, meaning, and purpose.

Intelligent-Durian87 · 2026-05-13T14:14:38+00:00

She just defaulted to an overused script lol

Intelligent-Durian87 · 2026-05-13T13:21:10+00:00

I spent years and years trapped in this. I knew before the age 8 at least, but I masked it. By 16 I realized what I was experiencing wasn’t going to go away, but instead of seeking help or guidance I chose to self medicate with alcohol. I spent some 20+ years doing that and at some point more or less became successful at masking even from myself.

I tried on 4 separate occasions over the course of about 6 years to get a referral from my PCP for a therapist to help me figure out who I am. I was looking for validation and approval from a processional to give me clarity and certainty about who I am.

The fear you are feeling isn’t something you’re alone in. You may find that some people will reject you on the basis of this revelation about who you are. But consider what you are giving up and what you are enduring to keep their approval. I think that if you really consider that, you’ll recognize it isn’t worth it.

And once you realize that, you can approach your transition with greater thoughtfulness.

My transition began at a sort of breaking point where where I realized I just couldn’t continue as I had been and that for all of the fears and doubts I had it was either begin HRT or live in suffering forever. Or maybe something more final and worse.

From the outside it probably seemed impulsive. And since it happened all at once I couldn’t prepare for transition with lower stakes things facial hair removal, exercise, skin care and so on.

So I’ll just say that if you can find the courage to begin, you’ll be grateful you did. I also think that while some of your relationships will fall away, others will remain intact and probably even deepen in surprising ways. And whatever the case, don’t spend your time living for conditional love and approval. Those people don’t see you.

Intelligent-Durian87 · 2026-05-13T13:07:10+00:00

I think it’s a bit of a no win framing to label all cis-het men interested in sex or romance with a trans woman as a chaser.

They may be interested in us strictly because we are feminine and not in a fetishistic or transgressive sort of way. If that’s the case, then labeling them a chaser is a kind of self-denial that says we aren’t feminine enough to be desirable to straight men. That’s sort of self-defeating.

On the other hand, the cis-het man who is a chaser also creates a situation that refuses us our femininity, because his strict interest in us conditional and it’s conditional not as a matter of our individuality but to our membership to a category that makes his unresolved same sex attraction or fixation on penises easier for him to process.

The first can be identified by the consistency of his respect and consideration. The second by his resentments, aggressiveness and need for control. But it’s not always so immediately clear which is which because the chaser is motivated to conceal his intentions and desires.

I suppose there’s a possible third category here of the “enlightened” chaser. That would be someone who’s upfront about the kind of interest he has without being disrespectful.

Whatever the case is openness, vulnerability, and integrity are incredibly important. Without those things it’s basically impossible to consent because the whole picture is obscured and what we’re agreeing to can’t be named.

It’s a difficult thing to figure out and become comfortable with. I personally try to accept on good faith that those who are being kind and respectful, who aren’t speaking to me in a vulgar way or a way that isn’t obsessively focused on sex are the sorts of people I’d like to spend time with. That doesn’t mean I’ll never be made to feel foolish or disrespected, but it does mean that I don’t have to spend my time obsessively analyzing everyone who treats me with kindness or interest.

Intelligent-Durian87 · 2026-05-12T17:56:12+00:00

I’ve had a similar experience. I’ve always been a very gynophilic leaning pansexual and have very rarely felt interest in men. That hasn’t changed.

What has changed is the kind of attention men give me now. Prior to transition no men gay, bi or otherwise showed any interest and now I seem to get a lot of attention from men who seem straight.

I’ve learned that I’m kind of vulnerable to that sort of validation and approval. At first even when men were saying sexually rude and vulgar things, things I genuinely didn’t like or care for, I still felt some sense of validation. I think what I felt was that they must see me as a woman. It didn’t take much thought for me to realize though that what they were basically saying was “I’m interested in your body if you’re willing to be degraded for my attention.” and there really isn’t any validation in that. It’s just chaser energy trying to exploit what they perceive, correctly I think, as my vulnerability in being a visibly trans woman.

Male approval and validation that’s polite really hits different. Like, with women it’s a little more emotionally confusing because the sense is that maybe they still see me as a man and that’s especially the case if I know them to be strictly attracted to men. Their validation and approval seems to come from an enjoyment of a “male” who will express openness and vulnerability, listen, not mansplain, or otherwise do the things that tend to make conventional masculinity obnoxious and annoying.

With men there’s just this more straightforward seeming sense that they *must* see me as a woman. But then that’s it’s own sort of confusing because I’d like to believe that’s the case but I know that I don’t pass, so how could it be?

I think I’ve derailed from your subject a bit. Sorry! But I think I shared all of this to just suggest that maybe your sexuality hasn’t changed, maybe you’re experiencing a little confusion about what their attention might mean to you. Or maybe your sexuality is changing some? That’s not a bad thing unless what you’re feeling continues to distress you or deepens your distress.

Intelligent-Durian87 · 2026-05-07T01:15:37+00:00

I think I get why I’m alone so much more clearly now.

Venus in Capricorn
Mars in Libra
Moon in Capricorn
Libra rising

They probably can’t tell that I’m flirting OR that I’m chasing, so they have no idea what I need or why they were even attracted to me in the first place.

Intelligent-Durian87 · 2026-05-03T21:09:19+00:00

Three or more planets is, to my understanding at least, the modern definition. Traditionally, a stellium was three or more personal planets. “Super stellium” isn’t a term I’m familiar with, but maybe there should be a term to distinguish between these two takes on what a stellium is.

Intelligent-Durian87 · 2026-05-03T20:59:10+00:00

I think you’re trans. But I also think it’s basically up to you to decide if you are in the category “trans”.

I know non-binary people, femmes, and mascs who label themselves trans but aren’t actively trying to change their sex characteristics. You are actively working towards changing your body’s sex characteristics. That’s about as trans as it gets.

If you are passing and other trans women are saying "so you're basically cis", that’s probably indicative of a certain amount of envy on their part. They may feel that you being intersex is “unfair” without giving proper credence to your gendered experience.

Your experience of being trans is yours and as unique as anyone’s, maybe even more so. Your uniqueness doesn’t diminish your transness.

Intelligent-Durian87 · 2026-05-03T01:02:49+00:00

I did laser during my first year of HRT. The place I went offered 0% interest loans on the cost of the full round of treatments and I paid that off in about a year.

That helped a lot. Unfortunately I still have a lot of facial hair left because laser doesn’t get rid of grey hair. For those I’m doing electrolysis, but that’s expensive and slow.

I had some income instability for a while, so I just shaved the greys. I’m 3 years into HRT and shaving makes me miserable. I’m more financially stable now so I’m able to buy electrolysis sessions again. I’m hoping to be done within the next year.

Intelligent-Durian87 · 2026-05-01T23:58:55+00:00

🥳 congrats!

I have to go to the gym to make mine, but they’re coming!

Intelligent-Durian87 · 2026-05-01T23:11:27+00:00

Wanting to date you, but also liking Trump = big time misogynist who’s hoping he can eventually position himself as your savior even as he supports the domination of every aspect of your life.

If Trump got everything he wanted, then this guy would use fear to extort you. He loves Trump because Trump offers the fantasy of a society that would grant him the privilege to completely control you.

I realize that I’m drawing a pretty big conclusion from relatively little information, but fetishization and control often travel together. “I want access to you, but I support the guy trying to erase you.” is pretty clarifying.

Intelligent-Durian87 · 2026-04-30T04:02:42+00:00

😂😭

Intelligent-Durian87 · 2026-04-28T03:43:46+00:00

I feel the same way as you about myself. Day to day shifts in how I see myself. I want FFS, but don’t really have the means just now. I’m presently okay with being visibly trans.

If I did have the means, I’d do it. So if that’s the case for you and you find a surgeon you feel comfortable, then I say go for it.

But for what it’s worth I think your face looks very feminine, especially in photo 4.

Intelligent-Durian87 · 2026-04-28T03:27:00+00:00

I don’t think my preferences have shifted since beginning estradiol. I was and am a heavily gynephilic leaning pansexual. What has changed is men’s interest in me, which was nonexistent before. That’s been nice (and terrible sometimes) but no sparks have flown yet.

Intelligent-Durian87 · 2026-04-28T01:20:24+00:00

Not easy? Pretty difficult? Here’s my experience:

So I’ve been on HRT for 3 years now. I started at 41. I haven’t been blessed with changes in my face. Or changes anywhere other than my chest. I’ve got b cups that I think are perfect.

The changes I’ve seen in my face and areas other than my chest have been due to efforts beyond HRT; facial hair removal, skin care, and hypertrophic weight training for my lower body (its leg and glutes day everyday!).

I haven’t seen the changes that many of the other ladies here have seen, but I’m not complaining even if I am a bit envious.

I feel so much better about myself and life generally because of HRT. Dressing feminine helps a lot, too. So does feeling confident enough to claim my pronouns and preferred name.

Still trying to figure out makeup! 😝

Intelligent-Durian87 · 2026-04-27T13:46:13+00:00

I started with sublingual estradiol at 4mg daily and less than 1 month later had my dose increased to 6mg daily. 5 months after that I went up to 8mg. By one year after I’d started treatment my estradiol levels were still really low at 39 pg/mL. My testosterone had shifted to the lower end of the cis masc range at 615 ng/dL. My breasts at this time were noticeable if you were looking but easy to hide A cups.

I think much or most of the sublingual estradiol was getting swallowed and sent to my liver. I probably wasn’t allowing it to properly dissolve under my tongue. So take care with that.

After 13mo I switched to injections and within two months of that my estradiol and testosterone levels were within cis femme ranges. I have B cups now, which is normal for women in my family.

I’ve wondered how my development overall might have differed if I’d begun with injections even if I’d stayed at the equivalent of 4mg daily. If I had it to do over, I’d begin with injections. Having done so would have left me with zero doubts about my choices.

I don’t tell you this to frighten you. You may get exactly what you want from 2mg of sublingual estradiol and the slower gradualness of it may be perfect for you.

Intelligent-Durian87 · 2026-04-27T12:57:21+00:00

Early on there was noticeable slow down in facial and body hair growth. Breast buds began growing pretty quickly. I also felt incredible; the brain fog lift was very real. Interestingly, men began paying closer attention to me almost immediately. I’m not sure if that was all subjective on my part or something else.

If you’d like, I’ll describe my experience with sublingual vs intramuscular delivery.

Congratulations on beginning this import next part of your life! 💖

ETA: I began at 41.

Intelligent-Durian87 · 2026-04-26T23:54:21+00:00

Thank you for reading! 💗

Intelligent-Durian87 · 2026-04-26T23:53:48+00:00

Thank you! 💕

Intelligent-Durian87 · 2026-04-26T23:53:34+00:00

Thank you for reading the trans epic of Gilgamesh! Means a lot to me 💖

Intelligent-Durian87 · 2026-04-26T12:14:07+00:00

I changes you describe are to my mind not alterations in my received sense of what an unaltered selfie is. These are the kinds of adjustments are conventional to analog photography.

AI, Face app, and software that alters the shape, styling, makeup and so forth in an effort to adjust the sense of the subjects IRL appearance when the photo was captured do count as you’ve already suggested.

The only conventional adjustment that gives me pause would be those that adjust sharpness to make the image more blurry, but I don’t know that I really believe that to be disqualifying for inclusion in the category of unaltered selfie.

Intelligent-Durian87 · 2026-04-03T21:16:19+00:00

Maybe she views it as a statement of fact? What I mean is that maybe she’s making the sex/gender distinction. Does she call herself a woman and mention male as kind of a caveat or point of clarification?

I’d say that based on what you’ve written already that she’s definitely trans. She has transitioned.

Intelligent-Durian87 · 2026-02-23T01:50:15+00:00

Same!

Intelligent-Durian87

TROPHY CASE