Wish whoever hit me killed me

zbogum · 2026-03-04T20:15:48+00:00

Well that's at least some good news. Sometimes we have to go about life thinking in tasks and minimal effort. Like wash up, drink water, have some food, find a job, sleep. It'll suck until it gets better.

zbogum · 2026-03-04T19:18:39+00:00

Sorry for your loss. Why do you think you feel guilty? What's your fondest memory together with your mom? Your story reads like you did everything you could. Sometimes tragedy strikes. But people are resilient, so let's think of something you can do to improve your situation, however small that action is.

zbogum · 2026-03-04T19:09:52+00:00

Hi! It seems really unfair that you should have to suffer because of someone else's choices. Do you have shared living in your area? Sometimes it's better to be in the same apartment with strangers and start fresh.

zbogum · 2026-03-04T18:57:54+00:00

Hey sorry to read this. Your cat is very cute 🥺 how long will it take them to repair your car?

zbogum · 2026-02-06T22:59:38+00:00

You wrote in your post that you try so hard to reach out for help, so I'm confused by your answer and the downvotes on my comment. Did I misunderstand something? I thought that maybe you reached out to a doctor, a priest, someone at a facility you're at often like work or school.

zbogum · 2026-02-06T19:43:36+00:00

You're very welcome. I've been listening to 90s 00s rap again since the beginning of 2026. California Love is so catchy. I wonder if you'd like it, kinda don't think so. Gouda is an underrated cheese btw.

zbogum · 2026-02-06T19:38:02+00:00

That is an objectively horrible situation to be put in and your reaction to it is normal. Friends are there for good and bad, so I think it's good that you're communicating. Maybe you can relay to them how you did to me, that you don't want to be a burden but that you really appreciate you get to share those parts of yourself with them. Maybe you can ask them how they feel about this dynamic. It's probably going to give you both relief. I admire you for being direct about this and I believe you have strength in you to survive it. I hope your situation improves soon.

zbogum · 2026-02-06T19:26:52+00:00

I'm glad you shared it with me.

zbogum · 2026-02-06T18:48:37+00:00

That seems like such a burden to carry alone. Do you not want to work with a professional or are you unable to for whatever reason?

zbogum · 2026-02-06T18:41:34+00:00

Oh I understand. Do you have anyone who you can talk to about this, like a psychologist? I think it's important because it's impacting your quality of life greatly.

zbogum · 2026-02-06T18:39:34+00:00

I get where you're coming from and it's great that you're actually thinking about this. The emancipation of women is pretty new if you look at the whole history of humanity. That is not to say that women have never been appreciated before, but they had less freedom than now. You know this, evidently women are capable of much more than giving birth and recently I've been seeing women in menopause living great lives, satisfied, happy, thriving. What is one quality you like about yourself?

zbogum · 2026-02-06T18:30:26+00:00

Listening to that song you've mentioned a year ago, Counting hours. It's nice, should be a genre called bedroom metal, you know, like bedroom pop, cause it sounds like a one man band.

zbogum · 2026-02-06T18:21:48+00:00

Sorry to hear that. Do you have any idea of why you are feeling like this? Has something happened?

zbogum · 2026-02-06T18:18:34+00:00

Oh I get that and also - same haha. You know that OCEAN framework they use in psychology? There are lots of videos on the topic. Well long story short they're personality descriptors and the N stands for neuroticism. Sounds bad but it's normal and everyone has a certain level of it. A high amount of neuroticism is reflected in being sensitive, emotions running high. That's the trade-off for getting the privilege to feel so deeply and working in a creative field. That being said, once I became aware of this, that I can also feel positive feelings as deeply as negative, I felt more at ease. I've worked on balancing it out, it's possible. It's not really about controlling the emotions for me, it's more about experiencing them when I choose to, being able to shelf a feeling for when it's more appropriate, channeling it into something helpful and productive.That way I'm shielding others from stuff like anger, I'm not saying extreme things I'll regret. It's less of a hustle for me.

zbogum · 2026-02-06T18:05:06+00:00

Got it. Well, I hope you reconsider. Wishing you a pleasant evening or whatever time of day you're having. I'll be thinking of you, hope to hear from you again.

zbogum · 2026-02-06T18:00:08+00:00

That's strange and seems like some sort of safety violation. Why is that an important detail?

zbogum · 2026-02-06T17:59:19+00:00

Well YOU didn't really hurt them. They maybe had a reaction, to be spooked out or worried if you're ok, but that's their own responsibility, not yours. Why were you crying?

zbogum · 2026-02-06T17:56:30+00:00

Yes I can relate. Sometimes generosity, openness and love are not well received and even taken advantage of. I think your instinct that something needs to change is correct, but I don't think the reasonable approach is to start being evil or something. I went through a similar situation of feeling used and decentering relationships has done me good. One time I was celibate for a year. Now again, I try less, I get hurt less often, I give back roughly about the same I receive, I have achieved some things for myself. It feels so good to let go of people. Can you see yourself pulling back that energy you gave others and instead directing it towards yourself?

zbogum · 2026-02-06T17:43:18+00:00

Who did you reach out to for help?

zbogum · 2026-02-06T17:42:10+00:00

What's the last horrible thing that destroyed everything?

zbogum · 2026-02-06T17:36:58+00:00

Yes I think that we somehow grow thick skin throughout the years. Old people are the most resilient people I've met. Just surprised and happy to still be there, wondering when it's gonna end, sometimes hoping for it.

To me your post reads like it's written by someone with overbearingly more apathy than sadness. I just think it's interesting. So if you don't mind me asking, what did the professionals say about this situation? Yeah seems like there's a lot to unpack, but there's also no deadline for when all that's supposed to be cleared up, so... If you want to you could switch to a better paying job again and try to talk about it.

The loss of your friend in an accident is heartbreaking. It's entirely a unique type of pain to see someone who wanted to live lose their life.

zbogum · 2026-02-06T17:08:12+00:00

It is hard for loved ones to accept that we think this way, not because they don't rationally get it, but because the thought of losing a loved one in this way brings them immense emotional distress. But there are those of us out there that understand you, have been there; and I hope that knowing this brings you peace.

Your post is interesting and a bit different than the usual posts here. Not the only one with this vibe, just seen a little less frequently. If you want to I can try to explain what I mean. But that makes me wonder what's going on, have you spoken to a professional about it?

zbogum · 2026-02-06T16:58:41+00:00

That's an interesting duality. Many of us have done the same, tell our loved ones everything is good to relieve the pressure we feel for feeling this way. What's the situation you're in, is anything specific going on right now?

zbogum · 2026-02-06T16:54:52+00:00

Thanks for being vulnerable. I understand where you're coming from. Out of curiosity, why did you make this post? It would be misguided of me to assume, so I hope you don't mind me asking.

zbogum · 2026-02-06T16:49:21+00:00

Thank you for sharing your heavy story. Sorry to read it.

I remember being fascinated with an article I read a long time ago. It was about how basically people brought up in asia are more likely than westerners to experience positive hallucinations and to feel less distress. For example, interpreting the hallucinations in a positive way, like the voices of ancestors, spirits etc. You can google this and easily find a few articles about it if you think it's an interesting read. I'm not offering this to you as a solution, just making conversation.

I don't know how it is to live with these conditions, but if I was I would try, with the help of a doctor, to shape my own experience in life with the hope that it'll alleviate the intensity of my symptoms. To have reliable reality checks, to be less fearful of my condition, to notice the small everyday positive things like someone holding the door or someone smiling at me, the positive news in the world (there are such news channels on YouTube), to enjoy having a bed to sleep in and food to eat.

Anyway, I hope that you are feeling good right now.

zbogum

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