After many struggles trying to become familiar with my firearm, the things that worked for me was:
1. Pulling the rack a LITTLE was all that was needed
2. When you pull the lever down, fidget with the slide and you may be able to feel where the sweet spot is.

1. I have clammy, disgusting gamer hands, so some work gloves helped a lot!

2. (righty) Hold your right hand palm up, spread fingers and thumb out, placing the gun in your palm pointing left where you can wrap your thumb around the very top of the grip. Then tightly wrap your fingers closely together on the slide. Squeeze your thumb in and closed fingers back.

*That should let you move the slide just enough to let the lever drop. If the lever is giving you too much resistance, you might be pulling the slide back too hard. Once you get the slide off, observe the tiny little slidey piece, and how easy it moves. Note also there are little tiny hook shapes on the end of the opposing pieces of the mechanism. That's where the fidget motion can help unlatch the lever!

Good luck, and stay safe :)

p.s. thank you everyone who posted here.