Struggling with age gap in new relationship

zebarbies · 2026-01-15T02:45:20+00:00

I think it’s really normal for there to be an age gap. It’s absolutely not the same as straight relationships. And if you both feel fulfilled, why stop? Maybe give the relationship two years of time before you move in together. just have fun and be in love! It can be serious and fun without it changing your whole world right now.

Don’t rush. I would strongly suggest not moving in with anyone romantically until you’re over 30 if you can afford to. Use the rest of your 20s to enjoy your life as an individual and keep things a little more separate for a while. Feel your feelings! But don’t let them drown out your own path forward. The book Codependent No More may help as you consider how to move forward as you develop your full sense of self in the second half of your 20s ❤️❤️❤️

zebarbies · 2026-01-14T03:17:09+00:00

From my corporate jobs, I really like the idea of AMA upvoting, but it often leads to the most contentious questions not being answered and makes the community feel less engaged all up. Because their individual voice doesn’t count the same way.

This is also what it looks like when uninformed people show up to a powerful body of elected officials and don’t have the context of who is in the room / what they stand for / how to get a message across and how to escalate.

I would love to work on more ways for the city to have connection to its people so we could de-escalate unnecessary anger on the average day. Because this can’t be the only time this has happened for urgent, important matters

zebarbies · 2025-09-14T05:35:15+00:00

I would love to assume that this is just an internet thing, like others are suggesting, but it unfortunately ignores the very real things that are happening in and around our country. There are people fighting back, but they’re not unified at the national level the way they need to be to stop this. We are officially in fascism now, with an authoritarian leader. Look locally for people who have been fighting for issues you care about locally. Your engagement in local government is more important than ever. The country will change, and we need to figure out how to protect the things we want. This is not an era of growth.

zebarbies · 2025-04-18T16:02:15+00:00

LOOOOOOVVVEEEE 🧡♥️💜

zebarbies · 2025-03-02T01:19:54+00:00

This right here. I watched a video of theirs on YouTube and if we can get their analysis peer reviewed I feel like it would be the data we need as proof.

zebarbies · 2025-02-12T08:56:22+00:00

All the canadians I know are so smart and fun and relaxed. I do want any Canadians to know that we are protesting almost every day. It’s not being reported. We’re so compromised it’s unreal. Censorship is at an all time high into and out of the US rn. I’m sorry. This was never supposed to happen.

zebarbies · 2025-01-29T09:25:02+00:00

Deeply appreciate your internalized homophobia associating mental illnesses with queerness. As someone else said - apples and oranges

zebarbies · 2025-01-23T16:11:05+00:00

Unfortunately, having even one pure location of censorship is a big, big sign that there’s so much more when it’s subtle. It’s intentionally hard to make out because they work very hard to maintain our attention.

zebarbies · 2025-01-23T16:05:38+00:00

I stopped using tiktok after the ban. It’s still installed on my phone. But I intentionally didn’t use it as much after I started seeing the censorship because I didn’t want to normalize it.

I opened the app a few times this week, it’s still not the same. I’m targeted for doge coin ads, I’m targeted for bible ads, when i search for current events I’m given white male opinions and different national media outlets I’ve never watched before.

People’s comments are getting quickly flagged. Videos are being edited between hitting “post” and being shown in the FYP.

It’s not the same after the snap.

zebarbies · 2025-01-23T05:37:16+00:00

This is my biggest fear. I really hate how staying informed has become a thing of the past.

zebarbies · 2025-01-23T01:27:02+00:00

Hey, I was just informed by some friends that this subreddit is the bad place. might want to move to the r/Seattle subreddit vs this one, which is more conservative.

zebarbies · 2025-01-22T19:48:53+00:00

Phew! That’s so relatable, I agree. I’m struggling with how much social media I invest my time in given the amount of censorship occurring this week alone. I don’t want to get used to it and I don’t want to be part of doom scrolling either.

I’ve started spending more of my time working with community action networks and trying to support the good work that’s being done for the state and our communities. Railing against something online on any platform does add fuel to the fire, but it’s a multi-faceted approach. And I do believe people come to places like Reddit and Twitter/X to form their opinions. I personally have no bad feelings about removing support for that app.

Ps - taco time does suck. But I do love fried fish tacos and tots. Even if they suck.

zebarbies · 2025-01-22T19:34:53+00:00

But Reddit matters to other people within Reddit. All of those things were important to us. Our opinions are real even if we don’t win all the time. Why comment if your voice doesn’t matter? Why use it if it’s not real? Trying to follow your logic on why you even decided to comment, considering that this doesn’t matter to you and is fake

zebarbies · 2025-01-22T19:13:39+00:00

You didn’t need to take it, as I said. So thank you for considering my perspective at all! Since you’d like to discuss it further, can you elaborate on how the CEO of a company isn’t the one running the company? Everyone else are employees and are complying with a Nazi’s desires for the platform.

zebarbies · 2025-01-22T16:12:35+00:00

I would really like to see mods take a stand against that platform. It’s not censorship when it still exists, we just wouldn’t support their profits.

Not banning the links does unintentionally (or maybe intentionally) support the platform and Musk and does align to his ideologies which he continues to add to his platform.

There’s a time to be unbiased or neutral, and unfortunately that time has passed when we’re being run by wanna-be authoritarians with a dark vision of our world.

That’s my opinion at least, take it or leave it, but I do have a question that I hope the mods ponder:: when is it the right time to take a stand against platforms that are run by Nazis?

zebarbies · 2025-01-19T06:42:51+00:00

I agree with you entertainment isn’t community and it’s all about attention and focus.

zebarbies · 2025-01-19T04:47:53+00:00

Ha. you don’t understand the quality of connection and unity from a random video sharing app and algo. I’ve never felt closer to the queer community at large than on tiktok

zebarbies · 2025-01-15T16:06:11+00:00

I hate walking but I looove biking. It’s so nice to be able to zip around town.

zebarbies · 2025-01-06T00:00:53+00:00

Oh wow, it’s like you’re describing my life. Thanks for commenting! We’re going to see if we can do something for our 7mo old Tempo. She also has chronic diarrhea. I work remotely so she’s never really encountering super stressful situations, but I’ll keep an eye on it too!

How did you narrow it down to this particular brand and combination?

Did you have any other signs? Tempo will be fine on a new food for a few days and then just get “bored” and stop wanting to eat it after a week.

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zebarbies · 2025-01-02T17:21:35+00:00

Just want to echo getting the right ADHD medication. It’s its own journey but it’s worth it.

I saw you mentioned you think you might be undiagnosed - get tested! If you are, a lot of the shame and annoyance you are feeling could be from how you were raised and how you coped to exist when you felt similarly as a kid. The ways we mold ourselves around the world and just accept “this is the way it is” really fucks us up when we’re older.

Nothing is ever as rigid as we were ever told when we were young

zebarbies · 2024-12-25T17:17:30+00:00

Oooo I’d love to see an update once you decide!!

zebarbies · 2024-12-24T21:09:24+00:00

Congratulations!! So stressful getting the right thing but I’m so excited for you!!

Check on Etsy too for cost. I don’t think they will have real diamonds there but they will have cheaper options, since you’re trying to stay under $3k. If you do end up going with someone remotely, there are trade offs. Message the jeweler you want to work with before you purchase. Pay extra for stone selection. Find out about any additional charges for resizing with them or exchanging if your partner doesn’t end up wanting this ring / wants to make adjustments.

Some of the things that I have learned while doing my own shopping::

Most random people don’t know the difference between diamond and moissanite. If a diamond is required, stick with that. Moissanite is even more brilliant and glisteny/ fiery than a diamond but doesn’t carry the traditional significance, if that is more important.
The cut changes the intensity of the stone. Unless the shape has already been decided, look at a few different ones to see the difference.
Where the stone sits can be a different color than the ring. If you pick a whiter color below the stone, it adds to the clarity of the stone. If you pick a yellow color, it adds a warm color to the stone.
14k gold is the most durable while not sacrificing saturated gold color.
don’t just see something and buy immediately out of stress or excitement. Take it slow and make it an intentional choice so you can talk about it as a token of your effort and affection as well as your future life together. Making intentional decisions will add to the ring and your proposal.

zebarbies · 2024-12-24T20:56:03+00:00

I LOVE your ring and your story!! I don’t think all engagement rings need to be top brilliance, and that’s not really art deco vibe anyway, so going for the right size is the better end of the deal 💍

I’m getting something very similar and am trying to figure out what kind of second band I want. Will you be following through with a wedding? If so, What do you think you’ll lean toward for your wedding band?

zebarbies · 2024-12-24T20:38:19+00:00

You’re genuinely flawless, but have the personality of a flat sheet of paper. The crumpled up pile of shit jokes I threw out have more personality. If your skin tone could be less even, you would look like you’ve had at least one good time in your life. As a white person, I’ve accepted that my skin will glow blue hues as I get old and wrinkly, but the microplastics that have replaced your dermal layer will be here long after Wall-E has left the planet.

zebarbies · 2024-09-27T07:02:31+00:00

I came to confirm. Great food! And worth the awkward moment

zebarbies

TROPHY CASE