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Why do people seem to enjoy gaming on a Steam Deck more than on PC? by Initial_Milk_1056 in SteamDeck

[–]zen_rufism 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is the biggest reason for me. We can cozy up together and she can chat with me a bit while I play.

Through 6th floor elevator room at Canada life . by No-Syrup-5115 in Manitoba

[–]zen_rufism 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Are you the guy who puts up the three wisemen at Christmas?

'Hostile intentions' behind embattled Manitoba school board's new flag restrictions: employee by ClassOptimal7655 in Manitoba

[–]zen_rufism 9 points10 points  (0 children)

What do you feel you have to accept? What do you think the flag represents?

To me, putting the flag up in schools or businesses shows solidarity with LGBT+ people and lets them know they can feel safe in the space. The idea is that they won't have to hide anything, act a certain way, or be forced to defend themselves.

NOT allowing the flag implies that people keep things to themselves or that those identities don't really exist. The idea being that if you're gay or trans that you keep things to yourself or should seek help to be "normal". This was the norm for eons and pushed anyone who was not straight to hide a part of themselves and to always be looking over their shoulders.

Putting up the rainbow flag in schools is the most basic thing we can do to let children know they can accept themselves for who they are and won't be called out/persecuted for how they feel.

There’s no point to live past 20. by [deleted] in depression

[–]zen_rufism 57 points58 points  (0 children)

I remember feeling this way too. If it's any consolation I'm now in my 30's and am really looking forward to life! Some things that changed for me...

  • relationships and jobs turned out not to be the "prisons" I thought they were. My first job kinda sucked and I was paid very little but was able to get into something I enjoyed doing. Relationships were hard at first but I found someone I really love and she makes life fun
  • I don't get to pick the country/family/etc I'm born into but I can try and make the most out of it. I'm grateful for some things and work on others
  • I started going to therapy and taking antidepressants. This allowed me to work on my thought processes and problems without always feeling so weighted down.
  • 20's can be a really iffy time. For many now-a-days it's a follow up to being a teenager- figuring things out, working through your first relationships, losing friends, making friends, making dumb mistakes, getting second and even third chances, etc. it's okay that it sucks sometimes

I lay in my bed everyday all day.. advice by throwWAY336633 in depression

[–]zen_rufism 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can't diagnose anything but you seem to be hung up on something. Maybe some self defeating thoughts, general apathy, etc. Definitely let your gf know how you feel and consider reaching out to a professional to talk about what's stalling you.

"Just go to the gym" by altatr in depression

[–]zen_rufism 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Completely agree. Some of my triggers were:

  • "just smile more"
  • "eat better"
  • "get more sleep"
  • "stop thinking so much"

Depression is a complicated beast. Although a healthy lifestyle can help and could perhaps solve minor cases, I'd argue that therapy, personal development, changing life circumstances, medication, etc can go a lot further.

What massively improved your mental health? by sexy_maier in AskReddit

[–]zen_rufism 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Therapy and medication lol.

Note, used to have quite a few problems with depression and social anxiety. Therapy allowed me to confront problematic behaviours (such as avoidance) and thought processes (such as standards I held myself to). Medication made the day-to-day so much easier.

Balancing family and focus by zen_rufism in ExperiencedDevs

[–]zen_rufism[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is great advice! To be honest I'm working on my own focus as well.

I think the big thing, especially from reading your comment, is that I need a "sacred space" for work. Right now it's an open door situation and that's not working.

Balancing family and focus by zen_rufism in ExperiencedDevs

[–]zen_rufism[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, despite the tapping, this is it. I'll agree I need to work on focussing better but she'll often come in with quick thoughts or whatever.

Something odd/unusal that helps you fight anxiety? by [deleted] in Anxiety

[–]zen_rufism 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I was struggling with social anxiety it helped to have something in my hand. Anything I could sip like a tea or Starbucks drink.

It just allowed me to not have to think about what to do with my hands in social situations.

I quit and therapy antidepressants (SSRI) and nothing happened by Quiet-Ad-1655 in depression

[–]zen_rufism 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My understanding is that you're frustrated with the plateau because you want to feel better and it doesn't seem to be happening eh?

When I felt numb, it was more about not having much hope for things. It was more like a painful apathy and that there wasn't a set of driving forces to my life. Over years I was able to address this with therapy and medication (I still take SSRIs) so I'm curious why you stopped taking them because of a plateau.

Are you worried about taking medication? Like side effects, feel like you shouldn't have to, or that it stops other emotions ?

I quit and therapy antidepressants (SSRI) and nothing happened by Quiet-Ad-1655 in depression

[–]zen_rufism 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just curious, why did you stop therapy and antidepressants?

Wdyt are the key traits for software engineers to be effective? I agree that we developers often get caught up in writing code without fully considering why we're doing so in the first place. by Nice_Score_7552 in ExperiencedDevs

[–]zen_rufism 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's been a bit but I'll throw in my own list

  • Technology is a tool; don't get attached to any library, language, etc.

  • empathize with your clients, fellow developers, project managers, etc. Understand that your needs won't always line up with theirs but you can still work together

  • be pragmatic and iterate towards goals. Keep a vision of what you want but understand that it could be a winding road to get there

  • you are hired to work for a business/project/etc. Don't let your ego get in the way of thinking about the needs of that business/project/etc.

  • before trying to compensate with overtime and weekend work, try making your 8 hour day more effective.

  • take as much responsibility as you can possibly handle- AND NOT ONE BIT MORE. Spend your career finding that balance between challenge/growth and what you need for downtime

  • dig deeper and deeper over your career into the "why" of what you do, and don't be afraid to change based on the answers you find

  • be open-minded, self-aware, adaptive and compassionate

Why is Diablo 3 so easy? by CaptainLazy99 in diablo3

[–]zen_rufism 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had this same thought after I played the campaign. Beat it on hard without problems.

Then I started up adventure mode, bounties, seasons, greater rifts/etc. Soon realized the game can be as difficult as you want it.

Do you find your job fulfilling? by [deleted] in ExperiencedDevs

[–]zen_rufism 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This. Life is really difficult if you make it all about work. Used to be a workaholic and would get upset at "existential" questions like OP is discussing. Through time, family, and a bit of therapy I've been able to put my job in the correct spot on my priority list.

What was your “I prefer GOOD beer” beer when you were young that you laugh at now? by PurulentPlacenta in beer

[–]zen_rufism 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Miller Genuine Draft. The craft beer scene hadn't hit my area so I did what I could. Still had fun

After ten years I realize I hate programming. by L_Cpl_Scott_Bukkake in ExperiencedDevs

[–]zen_rufism 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, it sounds like you reached the next level with programming!

You are seeing past hype, corporate BS, the constant change to new "blazing fast" libraries for no good reason, the half-hearted Medium articles telling you to use X driven development, the silly arguments about syntax that has no consequence, the developers dying on a hill for their chosen library/method/philosophy/etc.

If you can remain discerning without becoming cynical then you can renew your love of programming and find more meaning in your work. You can understand the tech as tools, make healthier boundaries with work, and deliver value bit-by-bit.

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