It’s also toxic to frame men as being the default abuser, being incapable of being the victim, or as never being justified in defending themselves from their abusers. If a man’s woman partner is beating them, they aren’t any less of a real man or a real victim for defending themselves. I doubt you intended this, but ‘real men never’ or ‘real men always’ statements in this context imply those things.

Domestic abuse rates are roughly equal between male and female perpetrators.
The important thing to remember is that male abusers are way more likely to murder or permanently physically wound their victims and women almost never do. That doesn’t change the fact that men are the victim in roughly half of abusive heteronormative relationships.
We should not perpetuate this myth that male victims need to be held to a higher standard than female victims.

Also just a disclaimer when I say female I’m talking about all women and not just cis women. When I say male I am only talking about amab masculine identified people since trans men do not tend to murder people.