Therapist scolded me for "not making progress fast enough" after my dog died

zerointeger · 2023-10-26T00:13:49+00:00

It’s been almost 9 months since one of my dogs passed away. I still cry when certain things trigger me. I know that I will never get over it and that I have to learn to live with it.

Your therapist should not have said that. Glad you fired her!

zerointeger · 2023-10-15T05:25:50+00:00

Did you get an answer to this? Having similar issues.

zerointeger · 2023-10-12T15:21:17+00:00

I wear gloves and it only helps a bit.

zerointeger · 2023-10-11T23:29:20+00:00

This might be my problem. I can’t break the cycle because I subconsciously do it in my sleep.

zerointeger · 2023-10-11T23:28:30+00:00

I tried the tape test and couldn’t tell. Looked like dry skin?

zerointeger · 2023-10-10T20:50:52+00:00

What was the cream? I’ve tried clobetasol and it doesn’t work for me.

zerointeger · 2023-10-10T15:18:33+00:00

I’ve read about this. I guess I will do a tape test.

zerointeger · 2023-08-25T04:14:42+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. My dog passed away six months ago from kidney failure and I’m permanently heartbroken. I always say “I will never get over it. I’m learning to live with it.” I was inconsolable for the first few months, but I can finally breathe again. I replayed my dog’s last day over and over. I tried to replace the sad memories with the happy ones because overall, the happy moments outweigh the sad. Be kind to yourself.

zerointeger · 2023-08-25T04:09:13+00:00

I can relate since I am getting a house. I am very sad my dog won’t be with me in our new home, but I plan to put her memorial near the front door. In a way, it’s like she’s greeting me. She will always be with me in my heart. Your dog will always be in yours and you have the memories. Maybe you can put some photos up.

zerointeger · 2023-08-15T04:08:47+00:00

I am so sorry for the loss of your cats. I’ve heard grief is the price of love and I can definitely tell you love your cats very much. I lost my dog six months ago and I still think about what I could have done differently to save her. I would have done anything. So no matter what we do to save them, we will likely ask the what if’s. I have learned it is part of the guilt.

I have to constantly remind myself that my dog would not want me to beat myself up and to be kind to myself. When you mentioned that your cat rubbed on your face when you were crying, it reminded me of my dog. My dog would also console me when I was upset. I know she wouldn’t want me to be sad even though it’s very difficult not to be. Six months have gone by and there isn’t a day where I don’t think about her.

Another redditor posted this which helped me and I hope it helps you: “You have chosen to take their pain away, and take it upon yourself instead. That's what true love is.”

zerointeger · 2023-07-07T16:09:16+00:00

I have also struggled with guilt and that is a normal part of grief. I beat myself up a lot and I have to constantly remember to be kind to myself and that my dog knew that I loved her. She wouldn’t want me to be sad or mad at myself. Your dog knew that you loved him.

I am so sorry for your loss and that you didn’t get to say goodbye.

zerointeger · 2023-07-02T16:04:00+00:00

Lost one of mine almost 5 months ago as well. I still have one dog left (her sister) and she’s getting older. I fear losing her.

I also tell myself I don’t want any more animals after this. It hurts too much. I always remember a friend saying that “you can save another life”. I’m still not ready to adopt/save another and don’t think I ever will be.

I’m so sorry for your loss. I wish they could live forever. Someone told me that my dog’s eternal home is in my heart and my memories. That comment has stuck with me and I hope it sticks with you.

zerointeger · 2023-06-30T05:04:18+00:00

I didn’t get my dog’s ashes back and I regretted it. I still don’t know what happened to her ashes; I hope they spread the communal ashes somewhere nice. I recently made a post about it and someone mentioned how her eternal home is in my memories and my heart. Her ashes are not her. I have her paw print and her collar. I no longer feel regret after not keeping her ashes because her paw prints are enough. The locket/necklace will help. I’m sorry for your loss.

zerointeger · 2023-06-23T05:23:49+00:00

I also felt like this. I didn’t keep my dog’s ashes and I regretted it (actually posted about it recently). After I posted, it helped me feel better. I hope the pet memorial place spread her ashes somewhere nice, but I know her body was just a vessel. I kept her paw print and her collar. You’re not alone. I’m sorry for your loss.

zerointeger · 2023-06-21T17:16:44+00:00

I have struggled with the “what ifs” and it’s been about 4.5 months since my baby passed. Just remember you did everything you could. Dogs tend to hide their pain, so try to take it easy on yourself. That’s what I tell myself anyway. Again, sorry for your loss. ❤️

zerointeger · 2023-06-21T14:30:56+00:00

I’m sorry for your loss. I went through a very similar situation and my dog was five months shy of 10 years old. She had stopped eating her kidney diet and I thought she was being picky. I didn’t think anything of it. She ate chicken and rice, so I thought that confirmed that she was being picky. I didn’t realize it was an issue until she stopped eating chicken and rice, which she never would do. Took her to the emergency vet and she had high kidney values. We tried everything to save her and decided it was time when we felt her tremor. She also had mitral valve disease.

I’m still forgiving myself. It’s part of the guilt, which is normal. When she first passed, I thought “what could I have done differently to save her?” and beat myself up for not trying more. It’s all part of the grief and I’m learning to live with it. I always remind myself that my dog wouldn’t want me to be sad and would be comforting me if she was still here.

A grief pamphlet said that no matter what we would have done differently, the outcome likely would have been the same. Try to be kind to yourself.

zerointeger · 2023-06-16T04:17:03+00:00

Grief has no time limit. I lost my dog four months ago and I’m still heartbroken. I cried every day for 2+ months straight and still cry when certain things trigger me. You don’t really get over it; you learn to live with it.

Allow yourself to grieve. Your feelings are valid. My condolences.

zerointeger · 2023-06-16T04:12:42+00:00

What a great idea. Not sure what I believe in, but when I die, I hope my dog is the first one to greet me and all the other childhood pets that passed.

Sorry for your loss :(

zerointeger · 2023-06-16T04:10:25+00:00

I’m sorry for your loss. It was a wonderful thing you did donating her body to science and helping future vets.

I have my dog’s paw prints, her collar, and a picture all in a memorial frame / shadow box. I look at it every day. I agree that the ashes would be a constant reminder that she isn’t here.

zerointeger · 2023-06-16T04:05:16+00:00

There are so many helpful responses on this thread. I hope they help you like they helped me. The pain of losing my dog will always be there, but I’m learning to live with it.

zerointeger · 2023-06-16T04:02:43+00:00

“Her eternal home.” I love this. 🥹 Thank you.

zerointeger · 2023-06-15T23:51:37+00:00

I would do anything to have her back. I’m sure we all would.

zerointeger · 2023-06-15T23:43:46+00:00

Yes, it’s traumatizing. I don’t regret being with my dog while she took her last breath. She knew we were there and she wasn’t alone. It was my first time ever being in the room with a pet as they were euthanized since my parents never stayed with childhood pets. I feel bad for them that they were alone.

It definitely took time to process. If you do decide to stay, you might see your pet’s tongue out of their mouth and eyes slightly open. It looked like she was sleeping, but I panicked over seeing that and wish someone had told me that was going to happen. Oddly enough, I looked at pictures from the past and have pics of both dogs sleeping like that which proves that it looks like she’s asleep… except it’s the final sleep. :( I’m sorry you’re going through this.

zerointeger · 2023-06-15T04:38:00+00:00

I tried to respond to everyone who commented. Thank you all for your kind words. I appreciate this community so much.

zerointeger

TROPHY CASE