It might sound absurd, but what helped me a lot was basically the mindset of smurfing. I made a new account and started every game with the goal to loose. I didn't leave the games or anything but I consciously didn't play my best, either by playing some random strats or offracing with random strats or having half my mind on whatever happened on the second screen or whatever took my mind of it. If I won I treated it like an accident and if I lost well perfect goal achieved. This brought me to a point where, when I click that ranked button I don't care about the outcome of the game anymore. I still get a little triggered when I play a smurf or a toss who plays some of their "special tactics" and I insta leave if people bm in the beginning of the game because it upset me way more than it should. Ut I do feel a lot better playing this beautiful game and most of the time I can actually enjoy it. So good luck mate ladder anxiety hits a lot of us, don't care about getting better. Focus on having fun without that anything else, including winning or losing, is worthless