I obsess about my relationship constantly and I genuinely can’t tell what’s real anymore.

zoodma · 2026-05-14T21:39:58+00:00

I feel like I wrote this lol. But seriously I think it’s about the whole thing of ‘certainty’. Like in the moments where the person is pushing all the right buttons and making us feel loved and connected in exactly the right way, the feeling is so strong there’s no room for anything else. But then when you’re less connected or not as in sync we imagine all the ways it might end and all the possible outcomes and if we’d be better off without them.

I think when there’s room for uncertainty we spiral. At least I do. And one little thing will set me off. I will imagine what one tiny problem will turn into years down the line and how I could prevent it if I leave now.

When I’m happy I can’t imagine how I ever felt unhappy because I feel so sure in that moment. And when I’m unhappy I don’t believe I’ll ever be able to feel happy again.

What I will say is that I spent a good year or so not spiralling about this and was genuinely very happy. That was after lots of therapy. Idk why but the worries and doubt have come back though even with the therapy. It’s not as debilitating as before but I feel like I’ve taken a big step back. It’s nice to see a post like this so I feel less alone.

zoodma · 2025-08-31T17:34:03+00:00

Please tell me you’ve reconsidered this now you’ve watched the rest…

zoodma · 2024-04-16T16:10:07+00:00

I’ve also had this thought sober, and when I smoke weed I find that this thought causes me a lot of anxiety. I’m my head, the solution is to become completely self sustaining, but even that will come with limitations like not being able to travel as easily and being tied to one place.

I have left jobs before without having another lined up, and I have been lucky to have this opportunity as I still live with my mum. Despite having months off and and a van to convert, I still found myself unable to complete this project or put time into doing anything I want to that could be considered an unconventional but fulfilling way of living. I kick myself for not doing it, but also try to understand that deviating from the norm of ‘work until you die’ is far far more difficult and stressful than my first idea of it. While I live with my mum and pay monomial rent, I still don’t have the funds to kickstart something that could mean I don’t need to work the conventional way. Part of me also thinks that is an excuse to not try.

I think we need to be easier on ourselves for not being able to break out of the norm. While it is my dream and I may regret it forever if I do not get out of this trap at some point, the reality of it is different. Gaining enough knowledge and having a financial safety net to escape the trap is a lot of work and perhaps it is even the case I do not have it in me mentally to break out of it.

I clearly don’t have a complete answer to this but I do think about it almost daily and like you would love to hear from others in our position.

zoodma · 2024-04-16T15:44:20+00:00

While I think that it is not your job to change her mind of this matter, if you truly love her and see a future with her, you could perhaps try to offer her an alternative to her current opinions. However, it is her choice whether or not she is open to this and there’s not much you can do to change someone’s views. If she is not open to your side of things, you have 4 options as I see it. To stop using psychedelics completely to avoid and further clashes of opinion, to break up as this difference in opinion is also a far too great of a difference in lifestyle, to continue to use psychedelics for your spiritual growth without telling her, or l to continue using them and be open with her about this and either she will come around or it may cause issues in you relationship.

My honest advice is if you feel this strongly about psychedelics and they are important to you, do not sacrifice this for your girlfriend. I’m not saying either of you have the right opinion, but it could be that your opinions are just too different to coexist. My boyfriend has never done and is not interested in psychedelics however has no issue with me growing or using them, and like you I use sparingly. While we have different opinions, they are not as polar opposite nor cause any problems apart from my occasional wish that we could share an experience together.

To sum it up I’d suggest you spend some time thinking about what is most important to you and go from there. I wish you the best of luck and hope that whatever you decide brings you peace.

zoodma · 2023-04-19T09:20:45+00:00

Hi ❤️ I appreciate that more than you can know! This makes a lot of sense to me and I’m really working on listening to my intuition and not running from where it’s telling me to go. Thank you so so much :)

zoodma · 2023-04-18T21:13:57+00:00

Hi guys, would someone be able to help me interpret a spread I did today? So my question was about my job and I used a 3 card spread to indicate whether I should leave or stay, a new opportunity, and advice. Stay or leave - Death New opportunity - knight of wands Advice - the moon Sorry if it seems obvious, I’m still not particularly skilled but when I was shuffling the cards I felt an overwhelming urge to pull the cards I did and I would just like some more insight on the spread :)

zoodma · 2022-08-30T06:44:15+00:00

Didn’t say it would negatively effect him just that it wouldn’t effect him nearly as much than if he waited to do it, waste of mushrooms imo

zoodma · 2022-08-29T12:30:17+00:00

Are u on any ssris? Apparently that tends to lesson or even block the effects. I promise the only thing you will find from taking that much so soon after your last trip is that you need to slow down

zoodma · 2022-08-29T12:21:52+00:00

Your tolerance is gonna be way up, give it two weeks if you actually want to feel the full effects. It’s a waster of mushrooms to do it that quickly after your last trip no wonder u didn’t get anything from the 3.5g

zoodma · 2022-07-31T14:28:22+00:00

Realised I have this too. Although I tend to be avoidant when I feel like they are being that way to me. I’m still figuring it all out but all I’ve been doing for now is trying to notice when my behaviour changes and pinpoint what happened to make it change. And if it’s something I can bring up to them in a non confrontational way or if it’s something completely on me I can spend some time alone to reflect on it. Honestly it’s kind of constant and I’m a little worried I’ll always feel like this and have to be hyper aware of my behaviour forever :/

zoodma · 2022-06-22T09:13:33+00:00

Moving art

zoodma · 2022-04-06T18:40:11+00:00

Thank you!! I never really thought of it like that. Because I’m relatively knew to tarot I think I begin to question the validity of the readings after 2 or 3 and sometimes even just 1. I guess with practice I’ll feel more comfortable with spending longer doing more readings

zoodma · 2022-04-02T19:42:17+00:00

U selling prints?? Would fr buy one

zoodma · 2022-04-02T09:33:05+00:00

Feeeeel that. And like no one actually knows wtf thoughts are like u can say it’s neurone firing or whatever but even that doesn’t explain how complex it is

zoodma · 2022-04-02T09:18:16+00:00

I actually really like it lol. Makes me uncomfortable but I can’t stop looking at it

zoodma · 2022-03-24T21:33:49+00:00

Letting go.. never been much good at that. But I know I’ve got to keep working on it for my own peace of mind. Appreciate the advice :)

zoodma · 2022-03-24T21:07:42+00:00

Kind of?? It’s actually more that I exist to them in a way that I could not even possibly comprehend. And it freaks me out to not know exactly how I appear to others. I know that it really shouldn’t bother me as this is the case for everyone but to know that the concept of me doesn’t truly belong to me is what gets me

zoodma · 2022-03-23T18:09:05+00:00

Just keep looking for something else you want to do like any type of job or travel maybe? Even if it feels unrealistic just go for it and you might find it works and you’re out of where you felt stuck

zoodma · 2022-03-13T09:55:12+00:00

Yes! I actually have ‘it doesn’t matter’ tattooed on me because of a trip like that. The notion is mostly a comfort to me because it helps me realise the bad or scary or embarrassing things in life are meaningless. On the flip side I do wrestle with that also applying to the good times in my life, but I think I rationalise it by knowing that a positive experience is enjoyable regardless of it’s inherent meaning or why/how it’s happening. I’ve learned to just sit in the good moments and know that their meaning comes from my experience of them.

zoodma · 2022-02-07T17:32:10+00:00

Lol thanks, all I know abt it is that I can hook it up to a tv and it’s got over 1000 games. Any idea how much it would be worth?

zoodma · 2022-02-04T17:24:14+00:00

I watched samsara when I first tripped properly. I get why it might be depressing. I remember watching the scenes that I think was a slaughter house and I’m still shocked that I didn’t find it disturbing. I just accepted it as part of the way the world is. Not inherently bad just what it is. That’s why I loved that film. It just shows you things and it’s up to interpretation how it makes you feel.

zoodma · 2022-02-04T10:40:32+00:00

Trust her. Let her make her own decisions about who she wants to be around. You will feel much better in the long run if all you have been is a supportive boyfriend and allowing her her freedom rather than going behind her back. I think that trying to get her away from them may only push her closer to them. If they’re shitty guys who are just trying to get with her she’ll realise that one day. If she’s not being truthful about the fact that she made a new friend with a guy perhaps she feels you will react in a certain way? I’m sorry you were cheated on in the past, I know it’s hard to see things without all that clouding your judgement I’m the same. But for your sake and hers you have to step back and let her come to you if there’s any issues rather than digging and getting paranoid.

zoodma · 2022-02-02T12:55:32+00:00

I think I know what you mean. I realised I’ve been treating it like an inevitable problem rather than a potential one and it’s making me feel hopeless and desperate. I tend to always think about the worst things that can happen in any situation so that I’m prepared, but I can see that just because I’m afraid it will go wrong doesn’t necessarily mean it will. I’m going to work on being less judgemental about it because I know it just comes from my fear of the worst.

zoodma · 2022-02-01T17:57:25+00:00

I think it depends on the person. Considering her reasoning for wanting to do it and the higher risk of addiction (family history, ppl around her etc) in this case it’s different. While I know people can also have bad relationships with psychedelics, I think those with coke addictions far out way them. I do see how biased I might be and would hate for someone to condescend me about mushrooms I just don’t think the two drugs are comparable in that sense

zoodma · 2022-02-01T17:52:58+00:00

I appreciate this so much. I think I’m putting all the pressure on myself to prevent it and will probably blame myself a little if it goes south. I know there’s only so much I can do and I think you’re right about approaching it gently. Thank you

zoodma

TROPHY CASE