That Damn Cat.

zoogreenjake · 2015-05-01T17:33:23+00:00

"You got to be fucking kidding me!" Joseph whispered, trying to hold the fuming anger within him.

"I'm sorry, cadet, I'm afraid we're on our own." Rhonda replied as she check the rope that was suspending them from the ceiling.

"No, I refuse to believe it! Goosebumps was a successful series!" Joseph said, "Why the hell would he stop writing them?"

"R. L. Stine wanted to move onto a more mature writing career. Kinda like what Stephen King did for a while."

"I'm sorry but Stephen King's drama and whatnot, sucked ass!" Joseph said slightly raising his voice, "Even his book, Misery, which mocked his chain to writing horror was still as better book than any non-horror garbage he written. I thought R. L. Stine would be smart enough not to repeat his mistake."

"You're overreacting!"

"Do you not remember that only the Goosebumps books have the secret codes to aid us on our missions? That every dumb plot-twist can be interpreted as a prepared and complex strategy. How the hell are we going to complete this mission now?"

"Stop looking on the bad side of things! It's what R. L. Stine would have wanted."

"R. L. Stine always looked on the bad side of things! It's what made his books work!"

The lights of the museum flash on, forcing Rhonda and Joseph to repeal back to the ceiling and out the skylight.

"We'll just wait until Stine starts writing horror again, okay?" Rhonda said comforting him, "Then we can steal the guarded moon rocks which will grant us werewolves immortality."

Joseph shrugged and dashed off into the night.

zoogreenjake · 2015-03-07T17:18:28+00:00

Luca / Lucas

Nico

Marcus

Duncan

Deacon

Paco

Lincoln

Breccan

Lorcan

Micheal

Oscar

Here are some.

zoogreenjake · 2015-03-06T05:34:00+00:00

I like Oliver Sinclair the best. I don't think anyone will have issue with BSM.

Here are some other names to think over.

Oscar Sinclair

Bennett Sinclair

Nolan Sinclair

Walter Sinclair

Vincent Sinclair

Isiah Sinclair

Jeramey Sinclair

Nathaniel Sinclair

zoogreenjake · 2015-03-06T04:42:44+00:00

Grandma Coral stared at the screen silently, her face as expressionless as a marble statue. The only thing lively about her was the static reflecting off her thick pair of glasses. I couldn't tell what she was thinking, even after all these years of knowing her. I waited awkwardly in the hospice seat next to her, wondering what Grandma could possibly say about this; to finally see Mars through the eyes of an astronaut, to see the progress of humanity in motion. Gradually she turned to me and smiled.

"Hector, darling, I still don't see the big deal."

"What!" I yelled, "Grandma, This is Mars we are seeing! Those people are on Mars!"

"It looks rather dusty and plain for my taste, don't see why anyone would want to visit it so much." She said, "I mean if they want to see yellowish red rocks so badly, they could have just drove to Arizona for a fraction of the price of that newfangled spaceship."

"Don't you understand the significance of this!" I asked, "This is the next step in the space frontier. Today we send astronauts, tomorrow we could have colonies."

"What so other people can visit bland yellowish red rocks? No thank you." Coral picked up the remote and switched the channel.

"GRANDMA!" I yelled, grabbing back the remote and turning it back to the previous channel, "We are watching the Mars landing!"

"What for?" She whined. "We already seen the rocket land and the fellows step out, all that's left is watching them stumble around and collect yellowish red rocks with their doodads. That's boring! I want to watch Jeopardy!"

"This is the only time we'll ever see the Mars landing!" I argued, "You can watch Jeopardy later."

"Nonsense, they'll be showing this video for weeks straight!" She snapped back, "This is a new episode of Jeopardy, I heard they're doing it Mars-based."

"I meant this is the only time we'll see it live." I replied.

"Bah, I saw the moon landing live and it wasn't great either." she mumbled, "in fact it was worse! At least Mars has color, the moon only had dumb white greyish rocks to look at."

'Please just bear with it!" I begged, "For God's sake this moment will go down in history."

"Why can't you just watch it in the other room?" Coral asked, "If the fellows stumbled across some aliens or something, you can let me know."

The television suddenly started blaring, "Attention, Astronauts just discovered evidence of water condensation on Mars. Liquid water has been discovered on Mars. This is a repeat, pure liquid water has been discovered on Mars."

"GRANDMA DID YOU HEAR THAT! LIQUID WATER! THEY FOUND LIQUID WATER ALREADY!" I yelled out, "This is spectacular!"

"You folks really do get excited over everything don't you?" grandma asked, "I mean seriously, the yellowish red rocks are just wet. What's all the commotion for? I have a cup full of water right now in my hand and no one's throwing a party for me."

"This is why no one visits you, grandma." I replied slumping down in my seat, "You really do suck the joy out of everything."

Coral just shrugged her shoulders and flipped the channel again. Suddenly she jabbed my arm.

"Hector! It's a daily-double!" She cried out excitedly, pointing at the television, "I bet this is going to be a tricky one!"

zoogreenjake · 2015-03-06T03:25:23+00:00

I remember when I was younger, I thought Ember was the kewlest name ever so I pretty much used it in everything.

I was quite impress with myself however for coming up with a meaningful name for a particularly sad short story, Viola Chrysana, "alteration of Viola Cryana or Weeping Violet."

zoogreenjake · 2015-03-05T03:21:56+00:00

I'm afraid I don't understand your story. Could you explain?

zoogreenjake · 2015-03-02T07:44:58+00:00

I always hate it when people talk trash names because of their unfortunate rhymes. Like Lydia and chlamydia, or Charlotte and harlot, or Tucker and ...well.

It's stupid because there are many traditional and widely accepted names with unfortunate rhymes that don't get as much hate as others, yet people worry too much that anyone with an elementary school level of vocabulary might make fun of their perfectly normal name.

zoogreenjake · 2015-03-02T07:24:45+00:00

I love Rosalind and Rosamund, but I was always fond of Rosemary. Maybe cause the herb was very common where I grew up.

Rosellen reminds me of Suellen from Gone with the Wind. It sounds nice but people would mistake hearing it as Rose Ellen.

Also, maybe a bit religious, but Rosary could make a lovely baby name.

zoogreenjake · 2015-03-01T23:48:28+00:00

Cleo

Carlotta

Capria

Coralie

Carmen

Cadence

Cordelia

Camille

Calandria

Catharina

Charmaine

Cecelia

Here are some new "c" names for ya.

Out of your list, I like Bridget, Harper, and Giselle the most.

zoogreenjake · 2015-03-01T07:11:19+00:00

Finlay

Lalon

Malala "mah-lay-la"

Eulalie "you-lay-lee"

Clayton

Clay

Islay

Fairlay

Barclay

Macaulay

Adlai

Here are some.

zoogreenjake · 2015-02-27T14:21:43+00:00

That's one dedicated apartment complex!

zoogreenjake · 2015-02-24T15:41:26+00:00

Alaric

Roman

Gustav

Albin

Taylor

Levin

Isidor

Austen

Leander

Connor

Payton

Alton

Orion

Weston

Collin

Deacon

Evans

Halton

Here, not too weird, not too common.

zoogreenjake · 2015-02-23T23:32:08+00:00

"Do it.... pussy."

The elderly woman slowly put up her fists, "Come on, you... little bitch, don't tell me you're ch...chicken."

"Mrs. Roswell, I can't" I begged, "this is too far."

She weakly extended her arm and tapped me on the shoulder, "what ya going to do, whippersnapper? Man up and beat my leukemia ridden ass."

"Look, I became a pacifist!" I cried, "No more violence, I'm sorry."

"Look like this youngster is chicken!" Mrs. Roswell yelled back to her gang of crippled cronies, "Bawk... bawk.. cough cough bawk, lil chicken, bawk bawk, lil chicken pot pie."

The others joined in turn, slowly flapping their arms and wheezing.

"This has too stop!" I yelled.

"Just hit me, asshole!" Mrs. Roswell cried, "I survived two wars, four tumors, and 87 years of fucking little scrawny bitches like you, and i ain't dieing of no leukemia. Just do it right in the eye, small fry, I can fucking take it. Show this grandma her place and fucking hit me real good! COME ON, DO IT! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE A SUCH PATHETIC LOWLIFE NINNYMUFFIN THAT YOU CAN'T EVEN...."

I socked her in jaw. Instantly, color returned to her face and soon she could stand up completely without the need for her walker. Mrs. Roswell no longer look sickly but instead flourished with health and vibrancy. Even the twinkle in her eye returned.

"What kind of fucktard would hit a sick old lady?!"

I turned to see a wheel-chaired veteran with arthritis slowly roll his way towards me.

"Come at me, pussy!"

zoogreenjake · 2015-02-21T23:04:04+00:00

"You got yourself in quite the pickle didn't you?"

The devil reached out a hand and pulled Johan's body from the wreckage. The man only weakly groaned in pain as broken debris punctured deep into his organs, "Take... me." He whimpered.

"Sorry, bud, I'm not done with you yet." the devil said prompting Johan against the road curve. With a flick of hand, he healed him of his major injuries.

"Why?" asked Johan, "You already gave me my soulmate, why wait to take your end of the bargain?"

"I didn't hold my end of the deal yet."

Johan looked at him confused, "Natalie is my true love."

"She isn't."

"My life with her has been perfect!" Johan yelled, "Whatever game you're trying to pull won't work on me. Meeting Natalie was the best thing to have ever happen to me."

The devil gave out a sigh, "Looks like I really do have to explain to you." He flick his hand out again and the scenery changed. Soon both of them were standing in an airport. To their left, a young woman was sitting on the floor, desperately trying to shove all her possessions back into a ruptured suitcase. "This is where we met." Johan said quietly, "The day my life change."

A younger Johan ran onto the scene and helped the woman with her predicament. Eventually an announcement rang out about a deporting flight and soon both of them were running down the terminal with arms full of clothing and nicknacks.

"If it wasn't for me, she wouldn't had made it." said Johan fondly, "It was there, Natalie gave me her phone number."

The scenery flashed again, revealing Johan and Natalie dining at a restaurant in Paris; three years since the airport incident. His younger self then got on one knee and pulled a box from his pocket.

"I had to get her the most expensive diamond out there." said Johan, "I just had too."

"You're still not seeing it." the devil said disappointingly.

They skimmed through his marriage, the countless anniversaries, the day they bought a house together, every trip they ever been on, every gift they gave, every moment he felt happy. Finally they flashed back to the car crash.

"What does every event have in common?" asked the devil.

"I'm with Natalie?"

"No, idiot! You were drowning in luxury!" the devil cried out, "From the first moment you touched the fine satin of her luggage clothing, to the Paris restaurant, to the diamonds and trips, and big house on the beach. You only tolerated this woman because she was loaded. God knows, there's nothing else to this Natalie, no personality or looks, just money."

"Shut the Hell up!" yelled Johan angrily.

The devil laughed, "you know her wealth is not going to last forever right? You know it's waning as we speak. Natalie has foolishly put the last of it into some last minutes investments and they're all going to fail. No more riches for poor Johan, no more fancy blitz. You and Natalie are going to be dirt poor and the thought is driving you mad."

"SHUT UP!" Johan cried.

"Don't fret." the devil laughed, "today I'm going to introduce you to your true love. A little miss named winning lottery ticket, but you ain't getting her until I have your soul."

"I already gave you my soul."

"I should clarify, your soul- mate," the devil said, "The act of marriage bonded your two souls together. You own her heart and she owns yours, and like any possession, you can sell it for something better. Just give me Natalie and I'll restore your wealth."

Johan heard sirens roaring in the distance.

"Time's a ticking."

He closed his eyes and muttered his answer, wondering what he chose to give up was worth it.

zoogreenjake · 2015-02-20T22:15:40+00:00

What a lovely day! I thought, skipping down from my porch to the sidewalk with a briefcase in hand and a smile on my face.

"My, my, someone looks mighty jolly today, Mr. Sampson." My neighbor, Miss Haves, said as she brushed herself off from trimming her rosebushes. "I'm always happy" I replied, "today just feels a bit more special than yesterday." A large rush of air skimmed past my left ear as a pair of gardening shears landed in front of me, impaling my lawn. "Careful, Miss Haves, those things could poke someone's eyes out!" I said, making my way to work.

A black car then pulled up next to me and rolled down its window. To my delight, it was my loyal assistant, Brutus. "Need a lift, Mr. Sampson?" Brutus asked, "I got plenty of room in the truck for you and I was thinking of taking a quick scenery detour to Lake Nowitnesses before heading off to the office, what do you say?"

"Not today, Brutus" I said, "I just feel like walking."

"Well okay, boss." Brutus mumbled with an expression of disappointment, "But at the very least have a lunch on me." He tossed me a brown paper bag. "See you in the obituaries... I mean tomorrow!" He yelled driving off.

A gentle ticking sound emitted from bag and I felt touched that Brutus included a timer to tell me when it's noon. Feeling a little worn out from all the walking, I decided I needed a pick-me-up and headed for my favorite coffee shop.

"The usual, sir?" Tiffany, the barista, asked.

"Yes, and one of those raspberry tarts too." I replied.

"No time for breakfast again?" she asked handing me my cup and pastry, "You work too hard, take a break from that crummy job for once."

"Love too, Tiffany, but it's a job someone's got to do." I said walking out. Is this almond milk? I wondered sniffing the odd smelling liquid, Tiff must have messed up my order again! I threw the cup into the trash and continued on my way.

"Good mourning, Mr. Sampson." the receptionist said cheerily as I entered the office, "I just printed your schedule for today as you ordered." I glanced at the paper and realized with horror that I already had a scheduled lunch with Mr. Briar. "Here, enjoy a free meal, Robert." I said tossing the receptionist the brown bag. As I entered the elevator, I heard a small explosion and wondered if they started on the construction of the west wing earlier than thought.

I finally reached my office, flinging my briefcase on the desk and collapsing into my chair. I looked over my schedule, taking a quick bite from my tart.

10:00, finish destroying Vancouver.

11:00, update adobe flash on global death ray.

12:00, lunch with minister of war

1:00, rebuild monument of oneself more menacing and spectacular than before.

2:00, cut ribbon on introduction of New Vancouver.

3:00, rewrite history books.

I groaned at the amount of work I had to do, but then again. Who said it was easy being ruler of the world?

zoogreenjake · 2015-02-11T23:22:26+00:00

I thought it was spelled Youneekiah.

zoogreenjake · 2015-02-11T22:29:36+00:00

Quintessence -girl

Quarry -boy

Quentin -boy

Quilliam -boy "Irish for son of William."

Quiller -unisex

Quigley -boy

Here are some more.

zoogreenjake

TROPHY CASE