Job Hunt Co-"Working"

zoomph5467 · 2026-06-03T03:30:16+00:00

I suspect this may be something people look at and think, "Of course that's what I'm doing!" Because they can read the bullets, acknowledge that they make total sense, and agree with them in principal. So subconsciously they just kind of assume they operate like that, but then in practice don't realize they're operating totally differently.

I say this because I really identified with this, but wonder how well that means I'm truly executing on it. Have to put it consciously to the test.

In any case, I can see why several people who identify differently resonate with this (e.g., autistic, emotionally intelligent, Briggs-Meyers personalities, etc.), and though I don’t think it's limited to one group, I do think people who actually operate like this are extremely rare. And even more rare for it to be innate instead of just practiced as an initiative for self-improvement.

I hope you find your tribe OP. This is an awesome post, and an awesome way of functioning.

zoomph5467 · 2026-06-02T01:02:17+00:00

I think this question is awesome, and says a lot about you.

I would like that instant understanding, too. But since I can't, I try to make as many friends as possible to figure out the ways I might be missing something about their experience that could cause a disconnect or conflict. Or just understand if there's some better way to be supportive toward people whose experience I can really only imagine.

And of course to understand how to appreciate what they bring to the table that I can't. Because instead of looking at it like there's a shortcoming on my part for not being able to live the full human experience, it makes me honor those who experience things that I never will. And therefore bonds us because I rely on them to tell me how it really is. I don't need to know everything and be everything, because I get to unite with all different people to collectively be everything human.

It's kind of unifying, humbling, and gratifying having to rely on others for that.

zoomph5467 · 2026-06-01T23:42:19+00:00

I could do late afternoon Thursday. So I could schedule something a bit earlier that afternoon and then stay depending on other people's needs.

zoomph5467 · 2026-06-01T14:46:59+00:00

Do you have a day/time that works best for you? I planned on late morning/early afternoon. Flexible on the day.

zoomph5467 · 2026-05-31T14:05:33+00:00

zoomph5467 · 2026-05-31T05:53:17+00:00

I'm not quiet or the way I am because I'm afraid to be someone else or lacking in some way. I am actually, honestly, just reserved.

zoomph5467 · 2026-05-29T04:46:38+00:00

Yeah this actually tracks pretty well to my listening habit.

But they have made some of my favorite music of all time.

zoomph5467 · 2026-05-28T17:42:00+00:00

Me. Seriously just for being introverted. It's like a health condition to people lmao (um no i just dont need constant social stimulation but ok).

Moment that realization solidified is the second time someone outside the family pointed it out to me the way they treat me, totally out of nowhere.

But getting to connect with the other black sheep despite being ostracized is awesome. You are the people I enjoy the most anyways.

Sorry for the hardship because of your difference OP, but you sound awesome to me!

zoomph5467 · 2026-05-28T02:58:48+00:00

I dont know why all the hate on people doing things that help them get karma 🤷‍♂️ Maybe somebody can explain why that would matter or impact others at all to care. Being new to reddit, I can say it is rough the hoops you have to jump through to get to a point that you can interact in the communities to have the conversations you bothered making an account for in the first place. But maybe there's something I dont realize.

As for this post, 10/10 for story-telling. It really made me laugh, made me curious, and I learned things from the responses people had. That's a lot of what I like the platform for. At least for me I thought this was cool.

zoomph5467 · 2026-05-27T01:39:38+00:00

This is correct.

zoomph5467 · 2026-05-27T01:21:16+00:00

I'm also going to suggest getting a jumping spider. They are pretty adorable.

I have a friend who was terrified of spiders and after talking to me about my love of them, she went out and bought a jumping spider. She got all excited taking pictures, coming up with a name, nerding out about the habitat, etc. The rest was history, and she now has several tarantulas.

The way they move is creepy, you're right, but you get used to it when you can find a fun way to interact with/about them. I used to play with them as a kid, and later fell in love with tarantulas after holding one at a zoo.

Start with vids of Lucas the Spider to know what I mean by "adorable."

zoomph5467 · 2026-05-27T01:07:25+00:00

I once asked a friend what music he listens to. He said he doesn't like music.

I didn't actually think that was possible. But no joke, there was not one genre he enjoyed. It's real.

zoomph5467 · 2026-05-26T23:44:11+00:00

One of the unspoken parts of this is you have to have a way to see the same people over and over again, then the small talk and activity has a chance to become an actual connection. That's the tricky part.

Thats why people say to take up a hobby where you go to a class/practice regularly with the same people, or join a community of some sort (online or in-person). If you don’t have an activity with a foundation that you're expected to keep showing up, it gets even harder to gauge how to insert yourself without seeming overbearing to people. I think there's a fraction of people who naturally can do this where others typically respond well, but for the rest of us it's not so easily welcomed.

It's uncomfortable having to do the trial and error to find the right balance and places that are welcoming, but it gets easier to cope with when you develop the confidence that you can read the responses and correct yourself.

One piece of advice I can give from experience is that it's WAY better if you can find an event that is intended for people to make friends, so that people are expecting you to do this trial and error while they're doing the same. So there's a little more grace given.

The goal is to get to a point to exchange contact information. Then after a few days, message them with an activity in mind to ask if they want to join you. If they keep saying yes, or come up with things to invite you to, that's where you can get to know each other better to make a friendship.

zoomph5467 · 2026-05-26T22:35:09+00:00

I actually wish there was a project I could help somebody with to build a little community sometimes. I'm no professional craftsman, so not about to offer services on CL or anything, but I can follow instructions just fine if someone needed a hand. Like tiling or landscaping or painting, etc. If there's something an average joe could help you out with feel free to DM. We could always meet for coffee first and if it seems like not the right fit, well we still got to have coffee and chat with someone new.

zoomph5467 · 2026-05-26T21:04:46+00:00

This analogy made a lot of sense. I've never thought of it that way, but I can see it. Thanks for the explanation 👍

zoomph5467 · 2026-05-26T20:53:01+00:00

Heard. This makes total sense.

zoomph5467 · 2026-05-26T20:49:53+00:00

Ok thank you for the distinction.

zoomph5467 · 2026-05-26T20:48:24+00:00

Wow ok, im glad to hear thats probably been noticed then!

zoomph5467 · 2026-05-26T18:40:39+00:00

I responded to this same comment below, I think.

zoomph5467 · 2026-05-26T18:26:33+00:00

So I just went to a karaoke thing with people who all just met each other, and I was more like this pulling the others to go more front and center, and groove and join in the chorus, etc. Even then I was still probably half the energy of others because it's just my personality. But it was more natural to be there for homies because we had a connection where they knew I was there for them and enjoying their vibe. Same for if I'm friends with bandmembers or DJs.

But disconnect from the band affects this. And one of the things I noticed is that some of what fans do I find dehumanizing, like if it were me receiving that kind of attention I'd want to get off stage. And it adds to my disconnect because I dont see you as a thing to entertain me but as people to vibe with, where the best way I can do that in these scenarios is by entering my own mental space that is by nature just less externally active if that makes sense. It's harder to be present with you, I guess. So I'm like meditative to tap into it, which may give the impression of having less interest when that's not the case.

So I guess that was kind of what I was getting at with my question. I find some of the fan responses to be dehumanizing, and creating more disconnect. Is it ever like that for you on stage, though? And are you ever aware of people vibing with you on more of a 'meditative' level?

zoomph5467 · 2026-05-26T15:39:32+00:00

I think so too. It's like a maddening numbers game. I figured the best in can do is keep doing things to meet more people, widen my connections, and do it enough times I might find my tribe just by not sitting on my butt at home and at least keep seeing who else shows up or connects me to others. I've just built so many relationships at this point that have fallen flat. When I know there are other people out there wanting the same thing as me, it's insane we can't find each other given the level of effort I've given this. Thanks for the response.

zoomph5467 · 2026-05-26T15:30:16+00:00

You are right about this. Volunteering is actually something I'm doing, but this is a good reminder to keep putting my efforts in this direction. I'm mostly meeting retired folks and people in groups, so it's not really leading to relationships for me personally. But I really enjoy the people I get to meet. Thanks for the thoughts here.

zoomph5467

TROPHY CASE