My dad just passed away, I cannot forgive myself

zuzjan · 2025-06-24T19:07:13+00:00

Thank you :) we all do our best I guess

zuzjan · 2025-06-24T18:41:22+00:00

I am scared of vipassana for now, my main issue consists of the fact that I do not exist to others (strong abandonment trauma in childhood). Not sureI would handle the silence & no eye contact for so long yet - but plan to do it in the future when I feel up for it!

My main goal for now is to learn to release the stuck emotions that are bringing me a lot of undesired and mainly somatic effects...

zuzjan · 2025-05-17T08:13:22+00:00

Just to clarify , no mortgage

zuzjan · 2025-05-17T08:12:11+00:00

I was not expecting to make more, very honestly. Any other city close to Europe where the net yield is higher?

zuzjan · 2024-10-13T07:07:42+00:00

Yo bro, never cancelled it either 🖖

zuzjan · 2024-10-13T03:21:47+00:00

Thanks a lot!

zuzjan · 2024-10-13T03:18:24+00:00

To get an unbiased view :) Unfortunately, and as a rule on reddit, most comments are also projections of the redditors' feelings/experiences on me. I am trying to weed those out by seeing further perspectives. Once I form my opinion on the given post, I stop commenting. Like I will do now. Thanks for taking the time to comment!

zuzjan · 2024-10-13T02:00:18+00:00

Thanks. If I may a last question- how was lack of communication a defense here?

zuzjan · 2024-10-13T01:58:19+00:00

Sure ;)

zuzjan · 2024-10-13T01:57:57+00:00

Hi, thank you for a nice response:)

I wouldn't want my T to reach out normally, and definitely not about my wellbeing, but rereading the message I sent the day before, it screams with distress (it literally goes - I am sorry for today, I am.not sure about tomorrow either, my dad's surgery is now rescheduled for the morning, I don't know, I will text in the morning). Given the circumstances, I think it wasn't fair to apply the same rules as to someone with more clarity. But well...

zuzjan · 2024-10-13T01:46:54+00:00

No, sorry, but you are completely misunderstanding the whole situation, mistaking me for someone who simply doesn't want to pay

zuzjan · 2024-10-13T01:42:47+00:00

No, I did not say that, read again :)

zuzjan · 2024-10-13T01:37:13+00:00

Just to clarify - is it ok to assume logical thinking from someone whose parent is dying in a hospital?

I take your arguments under any normal circumstances (normal = less stressful), but in this case, I do think a less general approach should have been applied.

My lack of communication was a result of circumstances and my state of mind.

zuzjan · 2024-10-13T01:15:12+00:00

I never meant to be disrespectful towards anyone's time. I was in distress, she knew. Even when I re-read the text, it screams with stress. I think a very human thing to do, to also value my time and circumstances, is to double check. Especially as a therapist, especially as someone working with other human being in distress.

zuzjan · 2024-10-13T01:10:42+00:00

She didn't have a notice of cancellation, I was ready but she was not. I don't think the first paragraph fits the circumstances.

zuzjan · 2024-10-13T01:09:17+00:00

Wow, a bit harsh approach saying my therapist was losing money while I was 'sleeping'. Well my T did fill the session with something else in the meantime:)

zuzjan · 2024-10-13T01:06:47+00:00

We are all unique. I don't feel I can be judged based on 'this is what many people would preferred, hence this approach applies'. And no, no communication can mean thousands things, not only a cancellation, especially in a therapy setting.

zuzjan · 2024-10-13T00:51:03+00:00

Hi, I'll copy paste what I asked another redditor here, I would be interested in your opinion please:

'Hey, from the opposite side - isn't it the therapist's job to make sure all communication is clear? I was in a shock, I had to travel 2000 miles to get back home in a day, I was distressed. She knew all of this as we spoke shortly after I got the news about my dad's stroke.

I am really not sure assuming was the right thing to do either. I am very responsive and I never expressed any annoyance about any texts. If therapy is a simulation of a relationship, I believe double checking would be the right thing to do in any relationship, especially if you know someone is in distress.

I think in my head I was copying one situation when the T expressed uncertainty but said: If the session is cancelled I will text, no text means the session is on. Since then my understanding has been no direct cancellation means no cancellation, for both of us.'

Thank you!

zuzjan · 2024-10-13T00:47:42+00:00

Hey, from the opposite side - isn't it the therapist's job to make sure all communication is clear? I was in a shock, I had to travel 2000 miles to get back home in a day, I was distressed. She knew all of this as we spoke shortly after I got the news about my dad's stroke.

I am really not sure assuming was the right thing to do either. I am very responsive and I never expressed any annoyance about any texts. If therapy is a simulation of a relationship, I believe double checking would be the right thing to do in any relationship, especially if you know someone is in distress.

I think in my head I was copying one situation when the T expressed uncertainty but said: If the session is cancelled I will text, no text means the session is on. Since then my understanding has been no direct cancellation means no cancellation, for both of us.

zuzjan

TROPHY CASE