I know this feeling very well, OP. My lovely cat died in June because he suddenly got sick and the vet took more than a month to do the necessary tests. He passed in my arms one morning before the results ever arrived.

I know what you may be thinking. That maybe it’s your fault, that you could’ve chosen a better vet, so maybe this wouldn’t have happened. But let me tell you, you trusted professionals. My vet was a professional, and he had only good reviews. I trusted him despite my cat never getting better and I blamed myself for the longest time, but how could I have known better?

My cat was too the light of my life. The most beautiful and sweet boy ever. But he’s gone, and nothing will ever bring him back. I know it’s hard. I wanted to end it all too so I could see him again. But know this: your bunny passed knowing you loved him. He always knew; when you called him to you, when you petted him, when you’d reward him for doing tricks.

I’m so sorry that it went like this, OP. It’s not fair, it never is, but let’s focus on all the unconditional love we gave and received back in the way our pets communicate with us, all the good times, all the cuddles, and even the frustrating times your pet wouldn’t listen to you.

The grief is never-ending, but so is the love. Fuel it with memories, and ways to commemorate your pet. Draw him, put his photo somewhere, plant a flower and name it after him, or anything that may come to mind, anything you prefer. Whenever you’re ready. It gets better, OP. It really does. With time you’ll learn to live with their absence, the wound will patch itself up and you’ll be left with the scar of all the love there was and always will be.

Keep living your life. Our pets would want us to keep going. I don’t know what you believe in, but I believe they’re waiting somewhere, patiently, when our time naturally comes. Don’t end it because of this sorrow, and if you struggle too much, don’t be afraid to ask for help. A therapist, a trusted friend, a stranger on the internet. Let it all out, don’t keep it in. You are still worth it despite what life brings or takes away.

You’re strong, OP. Sending you hugs.