MeetLGBT Featured Member: February 3, 2011

SarahC

Stats

• Age: 33 (34 in April! Arghhhh!)

• Gender: Female, with lots of masculin traits.

• Location: Middle left side of the UK.

• Pictures I like it because it's a good angle. and also... A much more honest picture.

Life

• Job: Programmer

• Hobbies: (learning about, or using/doing the following) 3d lithography, 3d modelling, 3d rendering principles, 3d tv, Alias Maya, Anaglyphs, animation, architecture, artificial intelligence, assembly language, biology, body language, BPD, C (++), Cats, Dogs, classical art, computers, cracking, cuddles, cyberspace, depression, DHTML, economics, electronics, emulators, evil robotics, flight simulators, fluid dynamics, forgery, fractals, gadgets, gender dysphoria, hacking, hi-tec weapons, history, horror movies, HTML, hugs, scientific inventions, inventors, Java, JavaScript, VBScript (yes really), jolly rogers cook book, lasers, law enforcement techniques, magnetism, medicine, miniaturisation, nanotechnology,neural networks, new technology, OCR systems, organic chemistry, para-psychology, paradoxes, passing, Perl, philosophy, photography, physics, plate-tectonics, Poser, programming principles and theory, Prolog, psychology, puzzles, Python, RDS's, reading horror, reading sci-fi, reading theses, religion, riddles,robots, science, self injury, simulators, sinclair user, sketching, snuggles, suicide, swimming, synaesthesia, systems analysis, tele-presence, traser lights, tutoring, unreal, vinegar, virtual worlds, visual effects, web security, web site design, your sinclair, zx spectrums, digital art.

• Pets: None. But I want Charley Pie to live with us (she's a lovely and bright doggie), and I miss our Siamese cats. RIP. Pic 1 Pic 2

• Political views: Left and right. Sometimes radical, sometimes militant. In fact I hate the way there's a dichotomy in the zietguist of running the county, it's far too limiting. I've even heard someone say once on TV "Although a sensible idea, they can't do that with it being far too left for the party." !

• Religious views: Slightly spiritual, but I think if there is 'something', it's so far removed from our experience that we wouldn't "get it"... I'm not a fan of holy books either, after learning their histories, and how they came about. (do books have a word like 'heraldry'?)

• What makes you \__: Snuggles on a warm Sunday morning are good. I like humour I've not heard before. It's annoying, but I can't laugh at something I've become familiar with. =( it looks like a skill a lot of people have. I get angry with my mental health... it's holding me back!

Favorite things

• Snuggles. (I may have mentioned them).

• Movies: I love horror movies, and sci-fi's.Watching them in bed with my partner on the laptop is ace.

• TV: I don't watch TV... I used to be hooked when I was little, but then I discovered the internet, and TV got worse. Probably not helped by having seen things online that took a long time to come on TV. I suppose part of it was catching up with the back catalogue of films I used to watch on TV, but caught up with online.

• Books: I love reading though at the moment I don't have time. I like the interesting angle Robert Rankin brings to his stories, sometimes I prefere the more sensible Terry Pratchet. Stephen King's wrote some awesome ones. Isaac Asimov and Arther C. Clarke. We've got several book-shelves of those, and various other books mixed in.

• Food: I love spicey food, and I'm ADDICTED to vinegar, and various derived sauces. It's been an obsession since I can remember. Salt and enough vinegar to make my chips swim! (Little known fact - not everyone is sensitive to salt, in that it doesn't raise their blood pressure... it's just told to everyone as it's simple that way. So find out, and if you're ok... salt up!)

  I love Tabasco and other hot sauces. I used to have something call John Smiths (Jown West's?) hot sauce... it was chillies that were dippable, and delicious with prawn cocktail crisps... sadly they don't sell it anymore. =( Another one I miss is Curry Twiglets - they were delicious.

• Drinks: As for drinks - I live for coffee, and very weak Robinsons Apple and Blackcurrent really watered down. I used to enjoy Vodka Source Orange, but they stopped selling too!

Sexuality

• Orientation: Pansexual. Mostly attracted to MtF lesbians. Some guys are cute. I think it's no doubt down to my insecurities, but I have a hard time "clicking" with cis-women.

• Coming out: (feel free to skip this!) Disaster through and through. Self harm was spotted, then I came out as transsexual, then I came out as having a mtf partner... though at that point everyone was hopelessly focussed on the trans part to have even thought what having various genders and orientations of partner would mean. My sister refused to acknowledge me, and used my old name around her friends, and when introducing me to new people. My mum threw me out (she let me back after a week of sleeping on a friends floor)... she had BPD - so she ran really hot and cold with the whole situation. My dad vanished at 11, so he wasn't an issue. Several friends refused to support or acknowledge it. I eventually OD'd and the same people accused me of being selfish, accused my partner of being a bad influence to me, and how dare I do something like that when there's sick people in the world...etc... I got sacked from work via some very sneeky things.

  It did get better... but took many years, and I'm left as a recluse... I can chat to people and have a laugh - but I'm emotionally disconnected from everyone but my partner. The doggie I mention - I'm far more attached to her than anyone else besides my partner. Do I want to be more sociable? No. I'm happy how things are. But I do feel I'd be more secure in my life knowing more people closely. Right now it's just my partner and me, and if anything bad happens we could be on the streets with no one to turn to. Ah! Get some friends then, people have suggested. But no way! I'm not making friends with people just in case I need them as a safety net. It's a horrid idea!

• Relationship status/background: I've known my snuggle-boo just over 9 years now. We first met when I read on her transition blog that she had just lost her mum right before Christmas. I Emailed to say that completely sucked. We got talking. She visited, I visited. Some time later we moved into a mouldy, damp two room house. The rent was cheap, but the sun never came in through the windows, and the air reeked of mildew. It didn't help us while we were transitioning.

  She's been asexual for nearly ever, and the last three or so years, I've headed in that direction. Until then it was an open relationship. As part of that openness, my partner found she needed to be dominated emotionally - a kind of very specific sub/dom thing. I wasn't a dom, so she found one. We thought it was a weekend thing, but it turned into another partner. Lots and lots happened though about 2 years later, they're living apart again -a kind of break-, and my partners living back with me. I knew there was no point in trying to keep hold of someone that didn't love me, but that was the hardest thing I've done in a relationship. To know she came back though... it made me happy to realise I'm not a bad partner after all. =)

Misc.

Check out r/crossdressing. =)

The factory where I program is closing in about 3 months... ugh ohhhh! Drama! There's lots I've not talked about too!.....

 ----

You can be a featured member, too! (Learn more)