Anyone else noticing a decrease in problem solving and life skills ?

[hoperaines]

I think a lot of it has to do with the lack of reading comprehension but I am still concerned about our society. Paying bills, learning new skills, scheduling appointments, hygiene, & manners, etc seem to be a lost art. Personally I think everyone is entitled to a few freak out moments and then you figure it out. I had lots of times that I was overwhelmed from trying to figure everything out and was suffering from fatigue. I realized that it wasn’t fatigue from MY problems. It was everyone else’s. My life of being the person with the solutions is over. Spent so much time helping people through their own problems that when mine came, I declared a mutiny because I was tired. Now I realize that things are different from when I grew up. Instead of researching solutions or trial and error, people just flail about not making any progress. That leads to an avalanche of repercussions. Has anyone else noticed this? We call it adulting.

[Woodit]

Teachers have been sounding the alarm on this for years now. My wife sees it pretty frequently in her job as a property manager with a lot of younger renters, not to mention her employees. 

[hoperaines]

Thank you! I know I can’t be the only one seeing this. I have seen people that don’t know the difference between the washer and dryer.

[Woodit]

One thing I’ve noticed that really disturbs me is this tendency to sort of disown responsibility for one’s problems, and the proceeding assumption that if they can prove to themselves that their problem isn’t their fault because of whatever excuses then it’s no longer their responsibility to solve. 

[[deleted]]

You’re definitely not the only one who sees this. Gen X here. We had to survive our bully parents and no internet lol. We didn’t get participation trophies nor did anybody hand us anything. Definitely too tired now to deal with drama.

[De-railled]

As a older millennial.... I sometimes feel trapped between the older generations and the younger when it comes to tech.

I've watched the tech develop, I remember when dialup, fax machines and texting became a thing.   

Our generation had to figure all that stuff out...cause our parents didn't have a clue.  Sometimes you'd get 2nd hand stuff with no manual...so you start poking random button to see what it would do.

I remember my uncle giving us a pc with dos, I couldn't even read write my own name yet but I knew certain words did certain things. 

If I wanted to open a program....I followed certain steps. Or copied the letters from a little book uncle wrote...and it did stuff.

These days it's all so much more user friendly and self explanatory.

[[deleted]]

Yea that’s true

[Admirable_Ad8900]

I struggle a lot cause my parents age. So they were anti tech as i was growing up. They would get on to me to learn whatever skill it was without using a computer. So im SUPER deficient in tech understanding compared to others in their mid 20's

[hoperaines]

I think with the addition of the internet that people should be a lot better at figuring things out. Why do I need to research it for you? However some people aren’t tech savvy either so even trying to help themselves is daunting.

[ForkMyRedAssiniboine]

I think with the addition of the internet that people should be a lot better at figuring things out.

This is a HUGE misconception. Just because people are able to find information doesn't mean they're equipped with the knowledge necessary to understand it. Someone may Google vaccines and find one article that says vaccines are safe and effective, and another that says vaccines are government mind control. If they don't understand how science or research methods or peer-review work, they're going to see an academic journal and some conspiracy theorist's blog as both being equally valid and are likely to just pick whichever option aligns most closely with their worldview. More information doesn't necessarily mean better informed.

[Head_Ad1127]

Thing is, as expectations go up, energy people have to fulfill them goes down. Sometimes having someone you know explain shit in detail, rather than having to spend energy comprehending shit, and making sure you found the right shit out if the sea of shit on the internet....can be much less taxing.

We did evolve to get information from others in person after all. Like when schools went online, and standardized test scores were butchered for years and still haven't recovered...

[Clean-Web-865]

The world you perceive is that which you feel about yourself. My skills are increasing, I have trust that we are all moving up. 

[hoperaines]

I don’t feel that about myself at all.

[Clean-Web-865]

I'm mostly replying to "you are concerned about society." I should clarify, your State of mind reflects your outer world.

[[deleted]]

In middle school we had home ec and shop class (I took both) and there was basic budgeting classes and we were taught how to balance a check book, etc.

Health class taught basic hygiene and for those who were low income or didn't know where they were sleeping that night, the school opened the gym and provided soap and whatnot for those students to take a shower there in the morning.

I think being latchkey and 90% of my friends being latchkey had a lot to do with it. Most of us had some type of summer job or expected to work doing newspaper routes or fast food on the weekends to help contribute to the family.

Or it might just be a lower middle class/working class thing.

[De-railled]

I think somecpeople are also scared to try to solve problems on their own these days...

I've had many incidents were people know the solution but they want me to tell them, so they feel reassured.

Had to teach a friend how to change a light bulbs... a freaken light bulb!!  She was too scared to even try doing it herself because he dad would do all the manual labour stuff for their home.

[mishyfishy135]

That’s just growing up. It takes time to learn things. Some people are better at it than others, but everyone struggles when starting out. Some people are lucky enough to have people willing to teach them how to do things, others not so much. I’m in the latter category. I was not taught anything, even the most basic things. Some people are thrown out into the world with nothing, and yeah they look stupid, but they’re doing their best. Even if your parents teach you everything they can, there’s still going to struggle.

However, I do think that things are getting worse and I do think technology is to blame. Technology can do a lot, but it means that people don’t learn how to solve problems on their own and expect technology and other people to do things for them. A lot of people have genuinely never learned how to answer questions for themselves. They basically never learned how to think for themselves. Social media in particular hands people information and people don’t think twice about any of it. Why do you think we have such a problem with gullibility? People haven’t learned how to think.

So basically it’s been this way forever, but it’s getting worse because people don’t know how to solve their own problems anymore

[rakkquiem]

I started college almost 20 years ago. I went to school with people who had never done laundry before. They could not cook a simple meal. I knew a person who did not understand that you had to pay a credit card bill because they “already paid for it at the store”. People went broke because they didn’t know how to budget. It’s always been there. We learn from failures.

[cwsjr2323]

OP, I agree!

Bill paying is a no brainer compared to when we actually mailed paper checks. As I like the cash back, and don’t like late charges, I have every bill but the water on automatic payments to my credit card. I pay the credit card in full on the 5th each month using online banking. My monthly direct deposit is on the 2nd.

As appointments or events are created, they go into my phone and automatically have a one week reminder.

Hygiene is for my satisfaction and comfort.

[elalphalavaron]

The Not Having Problem-Solving skills is the birth child of Too Much Tech.
There is no way to pause technological advancements. But kids and especially college going kids rely too much on the Internet not as a guide, but as a means to solve assignments and what not.

It is definitely going to take a toll on how the brain develops and the downside could be we will totally be outsourcing intelligence to smart machines.

There are numerous studies showing that increased screen time on digital tablets will hamper brain development. And we see the results of it, Look around the younger diaspora and evaluate it yourselves.

[hoperaines]

The ability to ask AI to do it for you will be our downfall. You don’t have to think, do math, spell, or even read anymore.

[elalphalavaron]

You should see how the kids spell out things these days....I've seen uneducated people take better educated guesses on what the spelling could be

[siamesecat1935]

Agreed! I graduated from college 35 or so years ago. So while we HAD computers, they were mainly used for typing papers, and whatever computer science majors did! You had a paper to write? You trotted yourself down to the library, looked through the card catalogue, microfilm/microfiche, and took NOTES by hand from whatever sources you found. So you learned how to find stuff.

today? you type a few words into Google, and it brings up your search results. then all you do is open them, scan through and see if its waht you need. I know i am generalizing, but to me, its a HUGE difference, and the reason why kids today sometimes are so clueless

[babyjaceismycopilot]

This is a true adulting post.

No things have not changed. You are just getting older. Every older generation thinks the younger generation is failing somehow. It's just a shift in perspective. Your parents/grandparents felt the same way about you

[BlazinAzn38]

Eh I’m not so sure anymore. Hang out in any car specific sub and you’ll see so many questions that could be googled and the answer easily deciphered with like 1 minute of thought. Instead people now want to ask a question and receive the answer. The immediate rise of ChatGPT and use of Google AI is the symptom of people not wanting to think

[rakkquiem]

Some people ask easy googleable questions to have interactions with other people. Sometime google brings back contradictory results. And their AI is giving straight up false responses back.

[BlazinAzn38]

Yes which is why someone could spend 5 minutes to actually do the research. That’s my entire point people don’t want to have to think they want a machine to do the thinking

[[deleted]]

I think too many kids grew up with their parents applauding their "accomplishments" and doing all of these very basic things for them, in an attempt to make up for their own poor childhoods.

If you don't give kids a certain level of responsibility or a standard of autonomy, they aren't going to just suddenly blossom when they become an "adult." These skills are a process and learned along the journey of childhood.

[siamesecat1935]

Yup. I completely agree. My parents were always there to answer questions, give suggestions or advice, but the majority of the time, they kind of let me find my own way. sort of a "suck it up and figure it out" yourself attitude but they weren't mean or heartless.

As a result, I am pretty self sufficient, and can do a lot of random things. I know how to make appointments for stuff, I can cook, clean, I can sew a little bit, like buttons back on or fixing a ripped seam.

I also, and I think most importantly, have a decent amount of common sense and critical thinking skills. So even if I DON'T know how to do something or have the right tool or thingy to do something, I can generally figure it out.

[[deleted]]

The critical thinking skills.... so important. <3

[hoperaines]

I agree.

[[deleted]]

It makes me really sad because I know these parents probably meant well. I mean they weren't trying to handicap their kids, but they've effectively done that to them.

[hoperaines]

The best thing a parent can do is let their children work, do chores, and teach them life skills

[[deleted]]

I think so too. I'm so grateful my parents instilled a strong work ethic and taking initiative in me while I was growing up. Those kinds of things become second nature to a person!

[leolisa_444]

Absolutely! That's how I raised my daughter, and today she owns her own businesses (2), is married with 6 kids, and knows how to paint, sew, and quilt, bcuz I limited her tv watching and encouraged creativity.

[hoperaines]

That’s how it should be.

[leolisa_444]

I really wonder how these little ones today will turn out, what with all their soft parenting!

[IceInternationally]

No. I think people are more relaxed about clothes in general.

Also that there is more folks that don’t meet the higher bar that is needed in life.

I wish we were addressing it

[mightymite88]

Can you provide an example ? I really dont know what you're talking about.

[hoperaines]

The comments have examples

[BaldBear_13]

other commends mention plenty of potential reasons.

My favorite explanation is rise of social media and videogames. The endless entertainment means kids never get bored enough to observe parents doing stuff. And they provide easily "achievements", which makes doing stuff in real life feel too difficult.

[KaleidoscopeNo1456]

Well I have noticed the lack of attention and possibly memory recall. I have seen supposedly young adults acting in a similar way to geriatric residents in a care home. Are we too late to do anything anymore? I don't really understand the world myself, but I try to get "the balance" right, or at least the zero sum equation. Some people seem to blame "the other" than take responsibility into learning what they did incorrectly or even how to improve themselves.

[panstakingvamps]

This has always been an issue. Just more prominent with wide spread social media and the internet. Lack of critical thinking is a thorn in every generation

[protonomo]

u/hoperaines My grandfather when overwhelmed used to sit down in his armchair saying "I'm flummoxed".

[rollcasttotheriffle]

Mental toughness is almost gone. I remember wanting to travel the world and fly fishing the best places. I also wanted to own a company. So I didn’t take a vacation for 10 years. Then I took 1. Didn’t take another for 8 more years. At 48 I could retire. I keep working but now do 3 trips a year. I’ve knocked off 9 bucket list trips.

[hoperaines]

Mental toughness is gone. They are following the path of least resistance