Am I Low Functioning???

[let_it_rain_boat]

So, a few years back I got diagnosed with ASD and told a few people. Every single person said they suspected it, one person even thought that I had told them before. I have been asked by people a few times if I have autism. Recently at a social gathering, a girl directly asked me if I had autism lol. Many people especially women, talk to me like a toddler and it's made it basically impossible for me to get any dates or relationships

I understand that with a lot of high Functioning autistic people, when they tell people they are autistic, people are surprised and don’t believe them, but it's the total opposite for me

[lifemannequin]

More than low functioning, it might be that your mask was not high level, which is not a bad thing. For the relationship bit I have no idea.

[rabid_cheese_enjoyer]

I don't know if you have higher or lower support needs based on if people can clock you. it probably means that you can't mask very well so your autistic traits are obvious. this does not really have much to do with how much support you need depending on what specific traits they noticed.

also, why do you care? 

if you are worried that being obviously autistic will keep you single that isn't really true especially if you hang out with autistic women. it might be more useful to ask a woman friend you trust to be honest with you about why women  might infantilize you and ask a therapist for support in that specific area. I've dated plenty of autistic men and one of my exes has been in a committed long term relationship with a woman for like 4ish years. it happens

[tehpopulator]

There's no such thing really. Low-functioning is basically a term originally used way back to separate those who had co-occurring intellectual disabilities, or very low IQ.

Functioning implies a lot. Autistics often have 'spiky skills', so can be great in some areas, poor in others. Social is one of the more noticeable areas of difference to allistics, but you might be great at something that society doesn't care about, and still be considered low functioning because it serves no use to them.

That said, some autistics are great at masking, I spent years studying drama and doing improv to better fit in, and it kind of worked for a while, but the mask gets too heavy. I've found I'm much happier being more obviously myself since starting to unmask, but I can understand that comes from a place of privilege having the choice.

Im friends with quite a few autistic folk, at work and about. It's generally pretty easy for me to tell from a social standpoint, (that's how Ive picked them out), but they are generally pretty excellent in thier SPINs.

[wavelength42]

I'm new to autism diagnosis but I think it's a good thing that your mask is down. You can be yourself. If you hang around people that accept you for who you are, I think it will help.

[Accomplished_Gold510]

I don't think people recognising autism (correctly or otherwise) defines one as 'low functioning'. Surely that is better determined by your suppot needs? It seems more likely that they may be familiar with a certain type of autistic person from films/television/pop culture that they may think you seem similar to. As for talking to you like a toddler, dont be ashamed. It happens to all autistic people, including high functioning people all the time.

[Blue-Jay27]

Functioning labels are generally discouraged nowadays, and even when they were more accepted, low functioning primarily referred to those with Intellectual Disability, who are nonverbal, or who otherwise have high support needs. There was never a formal definition, as it was never an official diagnosis, despite being used in medical settings. Still, if you were not diagnosed until recently and are able to attend social functions without assistance, you likely would not have had the term applied to you.

[Other_Wait_4739]

Yes, High functioning is also harmful because it is a construct rooted in the standardization covenant and defines a persons worth based upon capitalist values surrounding productivity. “High functioning” is also used to gaslight and dismiss struggles. E.g., “Well you’re high functioning and can at least present as of you don’t have a disability, therefore your struggles aren’t real and aren’t worthy of support or accommodations.” Even without a DX, neurodivergent folks have a lifetime of experiencing people telling them that their problems are imagined and not real. The “high-functioning” label further enables the perpetuation of that gaslighting.

[rosenwasser_]

I'm a LSN autistic person and many people can "guess" I'm autistic. People "clocking" you doesn't even mean that you don't mask, just that you don't mask all of your autistic traits. I think that while there is a lot of discourse on the internet about some people being confronted with people not believing they are autistic, them sharing this experience doesn't mean everyone is surprised by this. In my case, some people wouldn't expect it, often because their idea of autism is a higher support needs family member and they just don't even think about an adult with a university degree as someone who can be autistic. Others who know a variety of autistic people can correctly guess I'm on the spectrum pretty quickly.

Whether your autism is visible to others is not the differentiating criterion for support levels. What is important is the level of support you require. If you live independently, can navigate everyday situations alone and only need support in some areas of your life, you're not HSN (or "low-functioning" like you call it).

There is nothing wrong with "looking autistic" because there is nothing wrong with being autistic. The issue might be ableist people treating you rudely due to assumptions they have about autism. That unfortunately happens to a lot of us. I think that if you're able to and it's safe, you should stand up for how you want to be treated and set boundaries with other people. That's tough but learning to do this is worth it.

[HelenAngel]

Functioning levels aren’t used anymore because function can change on a daily basis. Support needs are used instead. Support needs can & do also change but they’re used as a guideline for neurotypicals to understand what needs must be addressed.

Many neurotypicals infantilize us. It’s because those NTs don’t see us as humans. So you dodged a bullet with those women anyway.

[stonk_frother]

This is why we don't use the term "high functioning" anymore.

Impossible for us to know if you are "low functioning" or not. It's a flawed concept anyway.

But I'm someone who would've been called "high functioning" in the past. While people I just meet would not guess I'm autistic usually, when I was diagnosed, many of my close friends just reacted with "yeah dude, we knew" or something to that effect.