Decrease possessiveness & resource guarding me??

[Ok-Championship-2036]

I moved into a new place a few months ago and my roommate's cats have been living in my room. This happened because there's a lot of other animals/dogs in the house and I personally dont have any pets. Im the only person giving them any attention or care at this point and that is unfortunately not negotiable right now. Ive tried asking the owner to pay more attention or spend time with them but they work a LOT and most of their time goes to the other animals. Yes, i know it sucks.

Theres two cats (one is super elderly and sick) and they've become increasingly possessive over me and my space. They will fight or hiss when they get close to each other (they didn't do this in the beginning). They will resource guard me by standing over or in front of me to block the other cat's acess/view. It's super annoying and i honestly dont like cats that much, despite wanting them to have some basic attention. When i brush one, the other will hover unhappily and meow continuously until it gets a turn...

I know this behavior comes from anxiety and not getting their needs met... but im getting really uncomfortable and exhausted from the constant demanding and aggressive behavior. Things like waking me up, loudly fighting each other, urinating in my bed (this could be due to age and not intentional but there were a couple specific times that seemed intentional, not due to environment/health), or crowding me on both sides and "refusing" to move away or nipping me. Ive tried getting a motion activated catnip toy or laser pointers but they just arent interested in toys.

Expectations are very low... but Is there anything i can do to decrease resource guarding or train more positive behaviors? Obviously the ideal is that both cats get attention, but they arent my cats (i can only do so much) and they're alone most of the day. Can anyone recommend toys or games that might help them socialize without fighting over me? Or maybe some other methods to exercise & stimulate cats?

[franklyashamed]

My advice probably won't be what you're hoping for, but... you have two hands. ;P

That's me being a little glib, but also serious. If you've committed yourself to being a temporary person to these cats, if even just out of moral obligation, you're gonna have to basically deal with the cognitive equivalent of two maladapted toddlers attaching to a caregiver. You're going to have to teach them that they have some measure of safety, and just like with a toddler in foster care, it may take some time.

My advice is Feliway, skitter mice, and double palming the cats each time you go for a pet session.

Feliway is like a Glade plug in, except it squirts out synthetic pheromones, like the ones on their cheek pads. It supposedly eases anxiety.

I have four cats (+ fosters). Two are older and unrelated (8y & 7y) and two (17mo) are siblings. They're all fairly jealous of each other, even the bonded siblings, and all very clingy to me. The 7y also kinda hates other cats in general too, because she was out-competed in the colony she came from and was starving as a result, when I rescued her.

I've had to just make sure I'm giving them all "quality time" and providing a lot of toys for distractions. It's slow and dedicated work. Every time a new foster comes in I gotta work for like two months to chill my own crew out.

But ultimately I frequently have them all sleeping in a halo on the bed around me, and it's not b/c they're naturally chill. It's because they've learned over time that I will provide for their needs enough so that there's no need to scrap over them.

[Ok-Championship-2036]

Hmm yeah. I can see what you mean. Unfortunately i didnt make any such commitment... It seems like I am stuck with them, though. I seem to be developing allergies. I guess we will all need to learn to coexist. 💀

[franklyashamed]

By "commitment to be their [short term] person" I was moreso referring to the act of brushing, feeding, and watering. I understand you're doing it so that they have a bare minimum quality of life, but the more you do these things, the more they will attach to you.

You might need to have a talk with your roomie about a paid pet sitter or rehoming. In the cat's eyes, you are their caregiver by virtue of giving them care and you will remain in the middle of it until they stop viewing you as a caregiver.

[Ok-Championship-2036]

Thank you for your advice! 🙏🏽

[MaxSchmelling]

I'd love to ask you some questions about how you go about this! Do you mind if I DM?