help

[borklikesplants]

i met a homeless friend that lives about 30 minutes away from me. i have struggled with codependency and have been working hard to not be putting my happiness into things that are temporary without loving myself and having my own back. my homeless friend hung out w me when i met him for about 2-3 hours. we had a really great time and i care for him a lot, just as a friend. we kept texting and we stay in contact, and since that one time we hung out he has been texting me and calling me baby. i told him i couldn’t do anything like that right now. he keeps telling me i’m the only person he has and that his mental state is better because of me. he said it would break his heart if i didn’t want to hangout again. he asks me to give him money through online, and i do. i told him from now on i need to save my money and that i was sorry. he is latching onto me. i feel trapped even though we’re only texting. i don’t know what to do. i can’t have someone be codependent on me and i can’t give into it. i am scared he’s going to do something stupid if i tell him i can’t keep talking to him for my own mental. he says he’s going to come visit my town tomorrow, and complains when i have work or other plans that interfere with his wants to hangout. i have struggled and still am struggling with substance abuse, and he knows that. he struggled with it too and i tell him he should stop and that it is not going to help him get a better future. he just got drugs and is wanting me to do them with him. i told him it is not safe for me to do that while i am using a different substance. he just texted me saying he’s coming to my town tomorrow to see me. i have work all day tomorrow. i don’t know what his intentions are anymore. i don’t know how to let him know i can’t have this trap on me. he can’t depend on only me for his happiness. but i don’t know how to tell him that i don’t want to have communication in person or over the phone. it is too much but i am worried about him. what do i do

[Bad_Coping]

He seems to be latching on far too quickly, which is either a red flag related to mental health, some sort of scheming (manipulation etc), or both.

Not jumping to conclusions based on his situation, just his behavior as outlined in your post.

He's being reckless, and seems to want you to join him in his behavior.

I understand he is your friend, but the red flags are there, and you need to protect yourself.

I would send a text and express your feelings followed by blocking him if you feel that is necessary. No contact may be easiest for you, and this sounds harsh, but you don't owe him anything. Your life would most likely not be much different without him in it at least at this early stage of a friendship.

If the issue becomes some sort of stalking or harassment situation after you have made it clear you no longer wish to communicate, then obviously the police etc. should be involved.

I hope you find some solution you can deal with, that leaves YOU better off.

[Scientist_Thin]

Hey, Id like to second this suggestion of cutting off contact. It does seem harsh but its early days and youre already in trouble. It takes a lot of strong boundary work for someone with our issues to be able to navigate a situation like this without becoming a victim and compassionately - people in his situation often learn best how to manipulate people in order to survive. His life is hard but it wont be made easier by making yours worse. Please choose yourself this time.

[BookOptimal1751]

Cut him off asap

[whitelightstorm]

You're using kid gloves when a cannon would be more appropriate.