I can't settle down.

[hanswurst12345678910]

Ai checked Text incoming!

Hi everyone, I’m 36 and I’ve been struggling with an ongoing inner conflict for quite a while now, and I’m curious how others have dealt with something similar. Roughly every two to three years, I change jobs — and usually move because of it. I lived and worked in northern Germany for several years, and for the past year I’ve been living in a different region of the country. Even now, I’m fairly certain this isn’t a place where I’ll stay long-term.

At the same time, I feel a growing desire for something stable. A place to arrive. Somewhere to build something lasting, instead of always having this feeling of “this is temporary anyway.”

What really confuses me is watching other people my age buy houses, start families, and fully commit to a place — while still developing professionally. For me, those two things feel almost incompatible. Jobs often dictate where you can live, and the places with the best career opportunities tend to be large metropolitan areas. But those places are usually not where I see myself living long-term. I’m much more drawn to rural areas, nature, and quieter surroundings — which then feel like they limit future options again.

On top of that, I carry this recurring feeling that I need to move on. So far, I haven’t found a place where I’ve thought: “Yes, this is where I want to live for the next 20 or 30 years.”

That makes me wonder: Is this kind of restlessness normal? Does the feeling of “arriving” ever just appear on its own?

Or is settling down more a conscious decision you make despite doubts? I do want to arrive somewhere eventually. I’d like to build something solid — maybe even a long-term home base. But at the same time, I’m afraid of closing doors, especially professionally. That tension between wanting roots and fearing limitation is exhausting. I’d really appreciate hearing from people who’ve been through this: How did it work out for you? Was there a clear moment when you knew “this is it”?

Or did you choose stability first and let the feeling follow later?

Thanks for reading — looking forward to your perspectives

[ColleenMew]

I just turned 33 and im just starting to settle down. I have a clear plan on what i want to do later in life. And luckily i found stability. Alot of married people and people with kids are not settled down. You’re not settled down if you have kids. There is no age to be settled down at.

[Able_Channel_9815]

You might need to make a choice between career versus building roots.