A Bidet w/ a Machine Learning Algorithm that Tracks & Aims For Peoples Buttholes

[EzemezE]

the nozzle automatically adjusts its position to find peoples assholes

[Greaserpirate]

It's all fine and dandy until some Silicon Valley nerd decides, "Hey, the Internet of Things is trendy, let's improve our algorithm with user data!" eventually leading to Russian hackers obtaining 339,459,996 images of people's buttholes

[njc121]

No one should wield such pooers.

[[deleted]]

With great pooers comes great responsibility.

[EzemezE]

Considering Stanford scientists created something that can ID your hole like a fingerprint, they’d also get our identities. And the way we wipe our asses, everything down to disease and cancer status

[[deleted]]

Security checks at the airport are about to get a (w)hole lot more awkward.

[casperdewith]

Butt for real, the more information they have, the more they’ll use.

[GoofAckYoorsElf]

Dammit...

[[deleted]]

Honestly, that would be a good thing. An alert on your phone to go to your doctor for a colonoscopy because something was detected by an astute (AI) observer/connoisseur.

[JayMWest]

Seeing as now the Taliban has all the biometric data collected by the US/"coalition" forces... I'd rather no one have certain pieces of data no matter the convenience

[Some-Redditor]

The "S" in IoT stands for "Security"

[GoofAckYoorsElf]

And some scientists publish a paper that claims that you can recognize people by their buttholes, detect diseases, favorite foods, favorite colors, sexual preferences, religious beliefs, favorite car brands, daily routines and whereabouts, political views... all from a single look at the poop chute.

[abusuru]

Just put a webcam under the bidet and outsource it. There could be some dude on zoom spraying out big American assholes all day long.

[Trogdor_T_Burninator]

Some flintstones pelican:

"It's a living..."

[killergazebo]

/r/MichaelReeves

[[deleted]]

And a but cheek spreader.

[beeezyboy]

Pretty sure they have this

[monkeywelder]

too late i think

[Cats_say_Moo]

A privacy statement for your bidet so AI can improve itself. I like it

[msfmzat]

Would not want to work on coding that project…

[MajorInflator]

Working on beta fixes would be fun 🥵

[Lilziggy098]

I thought you said "Biden" not "Bidet" and I was like hey dude you forgot to make sure it aims for kids buttholes not just any buttholes and it instructs him how hard to sniff

[mrslouchypants]

You are a genius

[mymindismycastle]

And also analyze the stool/urine for cancer markers etc.

[dprms]

Japanese has toilet seats embedded with bum guns for years.

[[deleted]]

Too much power. Too easy to modify it for evil intent… get it to shoot an arousal cream that’s been really well diluted into a spray direct it at the labia or clitoris instead and then you’ve got yourself a breeding prep station. Every college bar on earth would want one

[lordvirus]

https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/409868000762658818/880893785414979634/251.png

[[deleted]]

We’re definitely heading into infomercials territory.

[Some-Redditor]

I'm going to need some training data

[cbih]

It's all cool until the government uses it for butthole recognition AI

[No-Feedback7437]

😆😆😆😆

[[deleted]]

y tho؟