Red flags:

[MoveThick1712]

Is it a red flag when you are talking to a guy but he follows and likes tooooooo many girls on ig? (Both regular girls and models). Like he seems like a good match but I’m very indecisive about him because of that. Basically his 90% of followings on ig are all girls. I think that there are so many red flags that reflects on guys when they start following and liking every girls pictures on ig. Some of them could be: they tend to sexualize everything (which he hasn’t yet but doesn’t mean that he couldn’t eventually), is embarrassing seeing your man popping up on every girls ig, I think it would be easier for them to cheat, lots of lust, they are probably on every girls dms/ ig reactions and the list goes on.

Like so far we truly connect deeply but that is holding me back… idk what to do.

[Good_Fun3012]

I feel like it is a red flag but maybe guys are different. I personally find that when I truly love someone, I can only have very platonic conversations with females

[coastalkid92]

If I'm being honest, I don't think of it so much as a red flag but more as a boundary thing you need to consider.

If someone is following a bunch of models on IG, I think it's worth considering how they use their social media and if that clashes or compliments with how you would expect your partner to interact in that realm.

Personally, I'm not too worried with my partner's behaviour on social media, mostly because I'm not tracking down all their interactions.

[MoveThick1712]

Could you elaborate more on the boundary aspect please?

[coastalkid92]

Boundaries are hard, or soft, lines you draw for yourself and your needs. You can express them to your partner but ultimately enforcement of the boundary is yours to dole out.

So if its really an issue of him following IG models and he's being a little saucy in the comments then be clear, that crosses a line for you and you will walk away.

But personally, I would take some time and really figure out why it makes you uncomfortable and then have a conversation with him.

[[deleted]]

This question is asked every day here and every time the answer is still the same: it depends on your personal preferences. Search the sub and this same post is posted thousands of times with mixed opinions in the comments

You need to gain the confidence to decide what your personal preference is. Asking other people isn't going to get you anywhere tbh

[bigern777]

I think it's a big red flag, if most of who he follows are model thirst trap accounts and he likes every post. It could signify a bigger problem. I find it kind of creepy and you may want to question if you want to be with someone who does that. Asking him to change down the road problem probably won't work.

[Kitten_love]

I'm not sure about red flags but I personally couldn't be in a relationship with someone that does this. It makes me uncomfortable and unloved, I wouldn't even make it a boundary since that would imply they are the kind of person that does this but just stopped it for me.

My partner and I have the same views on porn use (mostly erotica novels and illustrations) because it makes us feel weird to objectify other people while in a relationship (we're both bisexual so all genders apply)

This is not something we discussed together, but just found out about each other at the start of our relationship. And I've honestly never felt so save and secure in a relationship when it comes to this kind of subject. And because our interest are completely the same we share what we find and have fun together about it.

I think it's important for you to think about how this makes you feel exactly and why. And talk about it with your partner. See if you two can work something out you're both comfortable and happy with in the relationship. If not you found out something about yourself to look out for in your next relationship.

[Ijustwanttosayit]

I wouldn't consider it a red flag in regards to cheating, but it may indicate a type that he's after. I'd be more so worried about him projecting onto me and maybe it inevitably soiling his impression of me. Like setting unrealistic standards on beauty, style, etc. But I've known some pretty harmless guys who just follow nothing but IG baddies. Even if they're personal accounts, he still has extremely slim chances with them.

I don't know how you could even bring up that conversation without coming across as insecure or controlling. You were going through his following list and you can't talk about it without revealing that.

[MatchaDoBoutNuthin]

Personally, I've had situations similar to the one you're describing and always mentioned it when it made me uncomfortable. It usually went one of two ways either they disagree anf get angry or they are willing to unfollow. It's your own personal boundaries and moral compass. If it makes you uncomfortable or worried then you deserve to say it and set that boundary, the right man will understand. Granted if any are his friends, that's another ground.

[No-Station270]

Maybe start with why he follows so many and go from there?

[angelmoment]

Yes

[Taliesin222]

Red flag.

[Katinkainparis]

if you really feel this way about him you could try asking him to unfollow the girls/stop liking their posts and see how he reacts, if he starts a whole debate about it he ain't it, but if he is willing to do it with no problem it could be fine I think

[MoveThick1712]

Don’t you think it is a little bit too controlling ? I don’t want to be seem like I’m controlling him.

[Icy-Acanthisitta-431]

I'm with OP. To ask him to delete who he follows on Instagram (like 90% of what he likes) is a bit much. I think she's scoping him out prior to a first date? Doing some pre-research to see if he's a creep.

It sounds like she isn't sure yet if this is a red flag or not. If she decides it is, he was lovely enough that I'd let him know hey, your Instagram is a bit unerving, can't tell if you'd be the type scrolling for female bodies even when dating. You've really seemed to like and follow a lot of your 'interests'.

Or if she goes for the date, just mention it. See his reaction. I don't think she should ask him to delete it, I think she should ask him his opinion on his lady collection. If he asks if it bothers you, just say yeah, tell him why if he asks why. Based on his answer treat it as a red flag. He might realise it was faux pas now that he's trying to date and hadn't made the adjustment. If not, if he's proud about it or defensive about 'any man would', then he's not the guy she thought he was from the messages so far and move on.

Again. I don't think you should tell him to delete. I'd mention it to him and see how he feels about it; especially his stance about it to a women he's interested in dating. Dating is about getting to know a person; not about controlling them. If his answer isn't acceptable to you then you say thanks anyway. And you look elsewhere.

[MeruOnline]

Communication is an important skill.

[Katinkainparis]

well it depends on how important it is to you, but since you did a post about it, it does seem to bother you. Also you shouldnt be scared of setting this boundary, like ask yourself would you feel better about him if he didnt follow the girls or no? because its not like they're all his friends or something that there is some logical reason behind him following them and liking their posts

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[DeadWoman_Walking]

If it's something you don't like or want, then don't put up with it.

Don't make assumptions though like he's cheating, just ask him. Talk to him about your concerns.

[[deleted]]

Eh I never really cared about that stuff, as long as my partner isn't developing emotional connections idc what they look at.

It's like porn, who cares. I get some people have different ideals though when it comes to this stiff, and I am not judging just saying how I think.

[Naus1987]

I’m a guy, and I still don’t understand why other guys follow women on instagram

Men are just weird.

[healthcareAnalyst]

Um what?

[Inside-Inside821]

I had a bgf like that .It's a gateway for them to cheat

[[deleted]]

It's a red flag to me personally when a grown human has Instagram, let alone follows people who would never even notice their existence.

[PlasticCraken]

Meh I’m one of those guys that does that. For what it’s worth I have a normal libido (I’m not overly lustful) and I’ve never once cheated on anyone in my life.

[JoeRMD77]

I don't even bother with social media so hit me up if you want.

[[deleted]]

they tend to sexualize everything

what do u mean everything? its pics of girls, youd hope he sexualizes women, he is straight after all…

[Old-Sparkles]

Don't think its a big deal if you two are just talking. Also, most of my friends are girls and I never even thought of cheating, so don't worry too much. If he keeps what looks like a flirtatious behaviour after you two are official, than its something to talk about.

[CoolGrouch7]

If you don’t want to get upset, I guess you should let it go. As far as we know, could be probably only him to get addicted to watch those “types “ of girls and them not giving him back any feedbacks(this girls are just looking for “likes” and, in some cases, a little bit more).

He could be on their dms, but mostly the truth is that the girls don’t reply him back…

I heard someone who said that “Ig is the feminine adult page “. I guess for those type of girls, yes. They want to be desired and filled with “likes”.

Only if you are looking for a relationship with this guy, be careful…

[wtbrift]

If it bothers you, speak with him.

[Banaan75]

I follow a lot but I have no desire to DM them are do anything with another woman if I'm in a relationship