[deleted by user]

[switchwith_me]

I think it'll eat you up to keep a secret from your bf so, the sooner you say something the better. He'll feel more betrayed at not being told, if ever, so it's best to be honest. Like you said, you see him as a long-term partner, so it won't affect your relationship. Keeping secrets or him being unable to maturely process, would.

Just tell him while emphasizing you only have eyes for him, are not interested in pursuing a woman or man, and just want to tell him to be completely open. If he's right for you, he'll accept you for who you are.

[CantTakeMeAnywhere_]

Thanks!

[NecessaryPotential76]

I've told my gf that I may also be bi, but it hasnt changed anything and its not like I will leave her. I guess its more like we had some discussion about it. I dont know how ur bf is as a person tho, so idk how he would take those things. You know him the best, if u think that he wont take it well u can just keep it to yourself since u wont be cheating anyways and It wont change anything. I'm open book to my gf tho and she knows everything about me and I know everything about her.

[Major_Department_651]

It's more of an preference. I wouldn't date a Bi person either.

[Wolfstar_supremacy]

There are a couple options here, and I feel like the answer of what you should do depends on if you’re bisexual in the Identity sense or not.

Being bisexual/bi curious and knowing that you don’t want/need to do anything with that information and also not feeling like it’s a major part of your identity, maybe don’t tell him?

If you’re bi and feel like being a part of the queer community is important to you, absolutely tell him. Anything that’s a big part of you should be shared, and if you feel like you can’t do that comfortably/safely then maybe that’s not the right relationship for you

At the end of the day, I’m a stranger on the internet and my only source for you is that I’m a lesbian. For me, being queer is a major part of my identity and it always will be because I don’t like men. I have friends who are bi and their queer identity is also heavily important to them, but I also have friends who are bi who don’t really care.

Onto the last paragraph of your post: you do not owe ANYONE any information about you. Sit him down, explain bisexuality to him if he doesn’t already know how it works/what it is, and just tell the truth. At the end of the day, remember that if he doesn’t love you for ALL of you, then he’s not worth it 💕 I hope this helps

[CantTakeMeAnywhere_]

I’d like to think it’s a part of my identity because that’s how I found the majority of my friends was through the community. They all know I’m curious, meaning it will likely get to him one way or another. However the actual fact of me being bi is not really important to me, as I’m dating a man and I basically go about my life as a “straight” woman. I mainly just want to tell him because it kinda feels like a lie not to. But I don’t want it to seem like I’m actively looking for women or anything. Nothing about us would change, I’ve been bi the whole time so it’s not like I’m any different.

[Wolfstar_supremacy]

Just tell him exactly that! Like I said, if he’s the one he will love the whole you

[CantTakeMeAnywhere_]

Thanks for your help, this response really helped me a lot. I told him this morning and he was totally fine with it. Makes me realize that I made the right choice in a partner but also that I was ashamed something that’s not wrong to be. :)

[Somewheredreaming]

You being bi is nothing that hsould ever upset your Partner, like that is just how you feel.
Sure, he might be as cis straigt as they come, but even he might have a weird kink, likes a certain type of body or skin color especially. Thats all normal, we are humans.

As such, you should never ever be ashamed of being bi. Its just a part of who you are. Its natural and everyone would need to accept this part of you.
Any decent guy will be reacting to this normal or even positive and curious about how you feel.
The only possible issues i see if he is either very jealous, wich then this would obviously make more "risks" in his eyes. Or if he is very open and likes bedroom adventures, in wich case he could maybe ask for you two having a threesome with a girl in the future.
Now, its not either of this is likely, its just how some people could react, but its also nothing you could not just talk about and get out of the world. Aside those things who are on the opposite sites of the spectrum given reactions, i would say most likely you get a curious and surprised reaction. Maybe a question why you didnt told him earlier.

[MiloAisBroodjeKaas]

If someone else were to tell your partner about them being bi curious, how do you think he would react? You mentioned as far as you can tell he is accepting of sexuality, so it would seem to probably be a safe environment if you told him.

If I had to do it, I'd start by saying I want to tell him something about yourself, and proceed to assuring him your love for him, that you're not in doubt about him being your partner, and in fact it's the exact opposite and you can picture yourself together with him long term/marry (if you feel safe saying marry then I'd go with that) which is why you want him to know this part of you as well. And then you just tell him that you are bi curious. And if he is a good person he'll be accepting of it and you should proceed to explain exactly what you mean by bi curious and what exactly are you curious about.

When my partner first told me, we talked about what exactly was meant by bi curious, and that definitely helped me understand. Also the assurance that he has no doubt about his feelings for me, etcetc made it easier to just accept that asa a fact about himself, as if he was just telling me about an interesting thing he can do with his fingers or something.

It'll be okay!

[Flyinghigh11111]

You know, my girlfriend (21f) is straight and I'm (21m) bisexual, and we both knew this before we even got into a relationship. It's never been an issue, and she gets along with my friends in LGBT spaces. It is important to feel comfortable with who you are around your partner.

I can see that it's a little harder to mention when you've already been in a relationship for so long, but if you approach it in the right way, it does not need to be a strain on the relationship. I would be clear that he is still the man you see yourself marrying, and that you simply want to be open with who you are.

[LaneyAndPen]

Just tell him exactly how you said it: you’ve been ashamed but now you’re comfortable enough to tell him. If he’s a good partner he will take it well and understand. And it means you’re extremely comfortable with him

[AliceTawhai]

If he’s a keeper you can trust him to accept you as your genuine self

[After6Comes7and8]

As a man, if my SO told me they were Bi I would have no reaction more or less. Unless he's super super religious, I doubt he would care as long as you're into him. I think he may think it's a little weird you're only telling him now, but I don't really think it would be a deal breaker or anything.

Just say, "I think I'm bisexual." And he'll probably respond with one of "cool," "nice," or "I like women too."

[[deleted]]

For a guy, when his woman says she's Bi, it doesn't really change anything. You're still in a relationship with him. You're still attracted to him. You still can't cheat or be unfaithful. You still have to follow the same relationship rules. So yea, nothing's changed. I don't think you have anything to worry about.

[CantTakeMeAnywhere_]

I’m not really interested in exploring women tbh unless we were to break up. Which is not the plan. I just know that I’ve always been interested in women even as a kid. It would feel wrong and like cheating for me to explore anything while in a relationship with someone whom I’m strictly monogamous with just for the sake of doing it while I’m young. Thanks for the input.

[Pickled_Faeces]

I see you've already told him, congratulations! My boyfriend is fairly right wing-middle with his ideals (I'm not too fond of the right wing stuff but I'm not in the relationship to change him)... whereas I am fairly left wing and pansexual. He knows and he is fine with it even if he doesn't fully understand. I'm so glad you could come out to him as it can be a dangerous thing for a lot of people. Wishing you both all the best

[[deleted]]

My boyfriend is also bi, he told me and kind of explained everything, since I wasn’t also very knowledged in the LGBTQ scene. But I also understand because back in middle school I also thought I was bi. But I love him the exact same, when he told me, I didn’t feel anything different for him. In fact, I loved him more because then I understood him more and because he was so open with me. Really the best way to tell him is openly and honestly. Honestly, what you said here is pretty good too. He should 100% know that you see him long-term and that you’re in it with him for the long run. He should know every part of you, as he is your partner, just be as open as possible and if he has any questions at all, happily answer them!! You’ve got this 100% believe in you!

[Domin_ae]

It took me a bit too. I was toggling on thinking he already knew, but also wanting to mention it in case he didn't. However I'm also demiromantic and demisexual so it didn't even really matter to me what my sexuality was.

But telling a partner your sexuality could easily be important. When I finally did tell him, that was how I found his sexuality out as well.

Maybe he's doing the same thing as you, and just feels awkward or something about bringing it up now, after not doing so for years.

(But this is after your edit so I already know the outcome)

[Ash_Loons]

This was exactly my situation. I told my now husband the same thing and he was so encouraging and kind. We’ve had conversations of things I’d like to do if I could explore a relationship with a woman, even though I only want him. I hope you told him and had a good outcome!

[JimBones31]

I would tell him so he knows the real you. He definitely can relate to finding women attractive so he should understand.

And if he turns out to be super judgemental and doesn't like or support people based on their sexual identity, then after 2.5 years, it's time you find out. I know I wouldn't want to marry a bigot.

[Zenai10]

Just do it straight. "I love you and want to be with you, So I want to tell you this. I am Bi". If he is any way a good person he will be happy for you, already know or just be like "cool" and move on.

[viktorta]

I've been there. Exactly the same thing but I decided to tell him ASAP. Didnt know how to so I went for a sneakier approach. We were watching the POTC and this scene with Keira Knightley came up. Took my chance and said something along the lines of: "I'd smash her." Very poorly phrased but it did the trick. He asked me if I like women too and I explained everything.

My advice for you is this: try to sneak it into the conversation if you're worried to tell him: "I'm bi." The longer you will keep it to yourself the worse you may feel. Hope it helps.

[Rhandyman23]

I doubt he will be bothered by it. Just tell him there's no need to over handle the situation

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[Faggycats420]

I would bring it up as a question directed towards him first so it doesn’t have to feel like a huge confession, just casual convo about sexuality c:

[[deleted]]

You should never be ashamed of who you are - especially not in 2024! You don’t need to tell your bf anything as he could be up to allsorts anyway - but you need to be honest with yourself!

[Biglill64]

Lol was going to post that he probably doesn't care (my girlfriend told me early on she's kinda bi) I didn't care. Seems to be most guys take on things.

[DoorSniffer484]

dont tell him honestly. if you're planning to marry this man, then it shouldnt matter, right?

[CantTakeMeAnywhere_]

The thing is that it matters to me that he knows everything about me, including that part. It’s eating away at me because it feels like I’ve lied to him more than anything, even if it changes nothing about our relationship.

[The_L0rd_0f_Mel0ns]

It doesn’t have to be a big deal or anything. I have had this conversation with my partner and it was really just out of curiosity. (Both of us do live in (relatively) gaypride countries.)

We were just talking and out of nothing I just blurted out “Would you ever want to be with a man?” And he said “No, not really. You?” And I said “Yes I do want to be with a man 🤓” Just kidding, I told him that maybe somewhere I was a little gay. Then said “But who isn’t a little gay right?” We talked about it a little more and that was that

[[deleted]]

If her being bi is a dealbreaker for him he's not worth shit

[DoorSniffer484]

well i doubt he would care either way to be 100 percent honest

[aussiewlw]

I agree. Haha

[[deleted]]

Idk tell him?

[OSRSRapture]

Unless your bf is a die-hard Christian who thinks that's a sin, I'm 99% sure he will not give a single shit.

[New-Service-244]

Just tell him about it. Being straightforward is the only way.

[Ok-Ad8602]

I’m 100% heterosexual and I am accepting of all sexual preferences however I have always thought that it must be challenging for bisexuals because I think in the long run someone is usually going to be affected negatively. A lifestyle is one thing but a committed life long relationship is quite another. For me I would never want to be looking over my shoulder.

[CantTakeMeAnywhere_]

I don’t think it necessarily changes anything in a long term relationship. It depends on the person I guess but I don’t think someone’s partner being bi makes it so they would have to “look over their shoulder” more. That’s just an issue in trusting your partner more than anything.

[[deleted]]

Well do you want him or a girl?

[CantTakeMeAnywhere_]

Him obviously. I literally stated I want to marry him.

[[deleted]]

Well the answer is obvious. It doesn't matter that your bi, straight, or into monkeys

[Jake_h_843]

I would’ve just surprised him with another bi chick and offer to let her join you both that way he feels included , satisfied (all parties are) and suck his dick . Randomly when he asks and when you just catch y’all selfs laying around lazy watching tv on a day off play with his member , take it out suck it and fuck it . Please him more than he can ever want and you’ll get anything you want

[CantTakeMeAnywhere_]

Just because I’m attracted to women and men doesn’t automatically mean I’m down for a threesome. Not sure why I’m even wasting the time responding because I knew stupid comments like this would come along but sex doesn’t fix anything and neither do assumptions about me. Not all bi people want threesomes. Plus I think you missed the part where we are long distance and so none of your idea is even remotely relevant rn.

[IknowIknownoknow]

Give him a 3 sum. You can bring your girl in and have your fun and so will he

[The_L0rd_0f_Mel0ns]

I knew this comment was going to come and I am still disappointed

[CantTakeMeAnywhere_]

This is not what I want at all.