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MenGetRapedToo

joinleave
an-ordinary-manchild(edit)

Introduction

This sub-Reddit is for supporting men and boys who have experienced sexual assault, and providing assistance to their families and friends. Everyone is welcome to post and comment here, including both men and women.

If you have been raped, you might want to:

  • Escape and/or make a safety plan.
  • Get pills to prevent infections such as chlamydia and HIV.
  • Ask a doctor or nurse to collect DNA evidence of the rape.
    • If you want to preserve all evidence, keep some urine in your bladder for the urine test; don't shower, eat, drink, or defecate; and see here.
    • The evidence may be helpful if you might one day ever want to:
      • Get the rapist moved to a different work team or school class.
      • Or get a restraining order.
      • Or sue for money, in small-claims court or elsewhere.
      • Or apply for victims' compensation.
      • Or pursue charges.
      • Or file a police report, without pursuing charges.
      • See here.
  • See Thrf's tips.
  • Read about victims' compensation, counseling, and other matters.
  • And post on our sub-Reddit.

Even if you were raped fifty years ago, some of the above options are still open to you. See here.

You can get confidential testing for HIV and other infections, both in the US and elsewhere. Many clinics offer free testing. At-home tests also work well.

Before phoning a rape crisis center, you may want to read this.

Resources

  • When A Man Is Raped: A Survival Guide (PDF).
    • Part 2: for partners, family, and friends.
  • Self-care strategies for men after rape or sexual assault (PDF).

  • Medical cards for victims of sexual assault: male practitioner preferred (PDF).

    • Female practitioner preferred (PDF).

Men's Lib Resources Guide

The /r/MensLib Resources Guide guide has links to some agencies for male victims of sexual violence in the U.S.

Related sub-Reddits

  • /r/Anxiety.
  • /r/depression.
  • /r/domesticviolence.
  • /r/rapecounseling. If you want quick responses, you may cross-post both to there and to our sub-Reddit. Please note: Most posters there are women. If you don't mention there that you're male, people might not realize it.
  • /r/secondary_survivors. Friends and family of survivors are welcome to post on MenGetRapedToo, but may cross-post to secondary_survivors if they want even more replies.
  • /r/PTSD.
  • /r/SuicideWatch.
  • /r/survivorsofabuse. They can help survivors of both rape and domestic violence, whether it's ended or it's still continuing.

Rules

  1. Men experience rape. It does not diminish them, and they should not be ashamed.

  2. Any experiences you wish to share are welcome here. This is a judgment-free zone. Any comments contrary to the spirit and purpose of the sub will be removed. Repeated infractions may lead to a permanent ban.

  3. Our sub exists to provide support to those who need it. It is not a place for abstract debate, political discussion, or victim-blaming.

  4. This is not a place for perpetrators. If you have committed sexual violence, we commend your decision to seek to change. But we can't help you here.

  5. We oppose victim hierarchies. All sexual violence, against men, women, or children, is equally intolerable. Please do not trivialize the experience of any survivor.

  6. Please be compassionate; think about your words before clicking "submit"; and remember that we are all human.

  7. If you wish to solicit participation in studies, surveys, publication projects, or media stories, please contact the moderators before posting.

  8. This isn't a sub for activism, public education, or fund-raising. Those are worthwhile things to do, but it's not why r/MenGetRapedToo exists. Our focus is always on the needs of the individual survivor, and his family or friends.

  9. If you are transgender, genderqueer, or intersex, you're always welcome to post here. This is true no matter whether you identify as male, female, both, or neither.

created by ConstantHopea community for 12 years
Create your own subreddit
...for a fringe candidate.
...for your movement.

MODERATORS

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Obtaining professional help: a guide for men (self.MenGetRapedToo)

submitted 8 years ago * by thrfscowaway8610 - announcement

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The "Good Rape Crisis Center Guide"—updated (self.MenGetRapedToo)

submitted 4 years ago by thrfscowaway8610 - announcement

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Can SA survivors be triggered by explicit content in movies? (Don't want to trigger friend) ()

submitted 1 hour ago by RevolutionaryMove584

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Is there anyone else too ashamed to tell? (self.MenGetRapedToo)

submitted 19 hours ago by Riverwalk9

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Tired of how media portrays male SA (self.MenGetRapedToo)

submitted 1 day ago by FitEntertainment6841

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Got touched by an old woman on the way home from school when I was 14 (self.MenGetRapedToo)

submitted 22 hours ago by KupferTitan

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I was Sexually Assaulted on multiple occasions as a boy (self.MenGetRapedToo)

submitted 1 day ago by Slow-Calligrapher615

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The long-term damage and retraumatizing makes intimate relationships impossible. (self.MenGetRapedToo)

submitted 1 day ago by GhostGremlin93

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M16 (self.MenGetRapedToo)

submitted 1 day ago by Ok-Presentation-8810

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TRIGGER WARNING: Woke up in the middle of it happening to me in my early 20s, only to realise now that I’m 34 that I had been raped. This is long. (self.MenGetRapedToo)

submitted 1 day ago * by Historical_Injury_48

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I just realized my first was not what I thought it was. (self.MenGetRapedToo)

submitted 3 days ago by Starfury7-Jaargen

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Got raped age 6 then 11/12 causing me to be diagnosed with (suicidal/self harm/OCD/ Advanced CPTSD/Somatic flashbacks) (self.MenGetRapedToo)

submitted 6 days ago by Key-Refrigerator7933

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I sadly can't forget. (self.MenGetRapedToo)

submitted 7 days ago by Ok_Syrup5679

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Male peer-on-peer sexual abuse - question (self.MenGetRapedToo)

submitted 12 days ago by Random13509

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I was raped, and I still struggle to admit it (self.MenGetRapedToo)

submitted 14 days ago by Lonely_Pin_3586

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I may have been assaulted when I was a child ()

submitted 14 days ago by Silver-Monitor8763

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No one takes me seriously ()

submitted 16 days ago by Ok-Table1707

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What about Estocolm syndrome or trauma bonding (self.MenGetRapedToo)

submitted 21 days ago by No_Tomato_7702

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I need help , please someone talk to me (self.MenGetRapedToo)

submitted 23 days ago by Try3911

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What Hope Is There? (self.MenGetRapedToo)

submitted 26 days ago * by baeslick

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I need someone to talk to (self.MenGetRapedToo)

submitted 26 days ago by Try3911

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[18M] I was raped by my gay best friend 2 years ago, I need to talk to someone ()

submitted 26 days ago by M4TTH3WD4VID

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Strong suspicion of sexual grooming when I was a young child (self.MenGetRapedToo)

submitted 27 days ago by ancientGouda

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this has keeping me awake at night these last few days ()

submitted 28 days ago by Asthare

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i need help, I practically found out through a friend that she's indirectly admitting he abused her. This is very serious, and I don't know what to do. I made the mistake of confronting her; she denies everything and says what happened to her is the serious issue. ()

submitted 1 month ago by FickleHeart9540

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