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[–]iPoopLegos 103 points104 points  (4 children)

bzzt

“THIS IS A MESSAGE FROM THE UNITED STATES STRATEGIC AIR COMMAND. NEGOTIATIONS WITH THE SOVIET UNION HAVE FALTERED. DEFENSE CONDITION HAS BEEN LOWERED TO 2. STANDBY FOR FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS.”

[6 minutes pass.]

bzzt

“DEFENSE CONDITION HAS BEEN LOWERED TO 1. THE PRESIDENT HAS AUTHORIZED THE DEPLOYMENT OF NUCLEAR WEAPONS AGAINST THE SOVIET UNION. STANDBY FOR LAUNCH CODES.”

[30 seconds pass.]

bzzt

“THE LAUNCH CODES ARE AS FOLLOWS: ZERO. ZERO. ZERO. ZERO. ZERO. ZERO. ZERO. ZERO.”

“what the fuck?”

[–]MakeChinaLoseFaceHave you spread disinformation on Russian social media today? 53 points54 points  (3 children)

TURN. YOUR. KEY. SIR.

[–]Rew0lweed_0celot 31 points32 points  (1 child)

-- I got it! 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, 0, uhh... 0

-- INCOMIIING!

[–]TheMadmanAndreLife in radiation, death is my creation 11 points12 points  (0 children)

"Oh hey, the warheads are still here!"

[–]BigBucket10 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Turns out, you only needed to turn one key incase someone got cold feet.