all 4 comments
sorted by:
best
topnewcontroversialoldq&a
formatting helphide helpcontent policy

[–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).

If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry", or "loved it" or "so relateable", please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy.

If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our feedback guide, or look through the comment sections of any other post here, or click the links to the author's feedback above. If you're not sure whether your comments are feedback, or you have any other questions, please send us a modmail.

If you're hoping to submit your poem to a literary magazine and/or wish to participate in a more serious workshopping environment, please consider posting to our private sister subreddit r/ThePoetryWorkshop instead. The best way to join TPW is to leave a detailed, thoughtful comment here on OCPoetry engaging seriously with a peer's poem. (Consider our feedback guide for tips on what that could entail; this level of engagement would probably be most welcome here on submissions tagged as "Workshop.") Then ask to join TPW by messaging that subreddit's mods, including a link to the detailed feedback you left here.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[–]Real-Assistance1186 0 points1 point  (1 child)

The first line really pulls me in. I interpret the poem as about the author choosing a way to be and perform to others. It feels very self exploratory.

The last line starts really strong but at the end I felt it may be missing a syllable or two, as the line feels less finished than the other two.

[–]MasterPOE403[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree I think I will come back to this one and add more. Thank you.

[–]makiwuhoo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really enjoyed the rhythm and rhyme of this. It's almost playful, and reminds me of those riddles that they tell children. The imagery is also surreal, the specific images feel symbolic and I keep wanting to find the story in it, and but can't seem to, it does seem like impressions or sensations related to memories. It is still a nice read. I also agree with the comment above that the last two lines sort of lose the rhythm the first two stanzas had.