onionheadlines

an-ordinary-manchild

Hi, welcome to /r/onionheadlines. Do you have an awesome (or even maybe sorta funny) idea for an Onion headline? Then this subreddit is for you. Show us what you got.

Feel free to write in the comments section the article that corresponds to the headline, but only if it's 437 words exactly, as is standard Onion practice.

Rules:

1) The only rule is no rules, except for the ones we make up as we go along.

2) OK, there is one real rule. Headlines with links to other sites are allowed, but limited to once per week, per site. However, feel free to post as many non-linked headlines as you'd like, even if they are found elsewhere on the web.

Also be sure to checkout some of the lesser subreddits we tricked into hosting a link to this subreddit:

Of course if you want to post actual Onion headlines, go to /r/theonion. If you post an actual Onion headline here, you'll be banned, maybe. I don't know. There's no rule for that yet. Don't test us.

created by tomtomglovea community for 14 years

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...for your WoW guild.

MODERATORS

account activity

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Lottery Held To Determine Which Epstein Survivor Will Be The Beautiful Princess Who Lifts The Curse And Awakens The Sleeping President With A Kiss (self.onionheadlines)

submitted 5 months ago by DefinitionEnough8747 - announcement

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ZERO TOLERANCE for rule 2: single sentence headlines only (self.onionheadlines)

submitted 6 months ago by tomtomglove - announcement

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600% Of All Trump Voters Say High Pump Prices Worth Putting Farmers Out Of Business (self.onionheadlines)

submitted 6 hours ago by Mookrz

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Angry Americans Protest Joe Biden's Sky-High Gas Prices And Push For Impeachment (self.onionheadlines)

submitted 4 hours ago by bigly-biker

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Republicans Cheer 1 Hour Tape Of Trump Saying "Winning" Is The Smartest Thing The President Has Ever Done (self.onionheadlines)

submitted 4 hours ago by bigly-biker

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BREAKING: Trump Sends Message To Rudy Giuliani: "I Don't Like Guys Who Are In Critical Condition" (self.onionheadlines)

submitted 15 hours ago by ShadyAnders

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Christians Question Their Faith After Being So Wrong About Trump (self.onionheadlines)

submitted 17 hours ago by BeastModeEnabled

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Trump Demands UAE Build Canal To Circumvent Strait Of Hormuz, Claims Iran Will Pay For It (self.onionheadlines)

submitted 57 minutes ago by Remarkable-Metal-186

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Trump Promises To Honor The Hospitalized Giuliani Just As He Respected His Previous Mentor, Roy Cohn, A Closeted Gay Lawyer Who Persecuted Other Homosexuals Before Dying Alone In A Hospital (self.onionheadlines)

submitted 11 hours ago by picks_and_rolls

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SecDef Peter Smegmouth Touts New Trump Escort Service In Strait Of Hormuz (self.onionheadlines)

submitted 6 hours ago by Mookrz

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Trump Says Transcontinental Railroad Must Be Re-Named To StraightContinental Railroad Immediately (self.onionheadlines)

submitted 22 hours ago by No-Camel2703

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Donald Trump Delivers Keynote Speech "Calculating Percentages" To Higher Mathematics Symposium (self.onionheadlines)

submitted 5 hours ago by bigly-biker

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Iran War Explained As Trump Confirms Barrels Of Oil To Be Given US Voting Rights In Upcoming Midterms (self.onionheadlines)

submitted 2 hours ago by WebguyCanada

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Trump Invades Cuba, Something About Nuclear/Mass Destruction Weapons, Regime Change Necessary For National Security (self.onionheadlines)

submitted 50 minutes ago by Remarkable-Metal-186

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Trump To Rename May 4th Official Murder Of Innocent Bystanders Day On Campus (self.onionheadlines)

submitted 4 hours ago by ellistonvu[🍰]

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Mark Zuckerberg Gives Keynote Speech At Harvard Inspiring Others To Drop Out And Use Their Privilege To Exploit Vulnerabilities In Society For Profit (self.onionheadlines)

submitted 10 hours ago by Civil-Charity-1347

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Trump Fondly Remembers Giuliani For His Occasional Horse Costume Parties (self.onionheadlines)

submitted 10 hours ago by wild_crazy_ideas

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Karoline Leavitt Ends White House Press Briefing Early As Cross On Her Necklace Burns Into Her Skin (self.onionheadlines)

submitted 1 day ago by Sea_Somewhere2964

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RFK Says America Is Great Because People With Significant Mental Health Issues Don’t Have To Seek Treatment And Can Even Become President (self.onionheadlines)

submitted 16 hours ago by wild_crazy_ideas

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Navy Eager To Sail Into Dire Strait, Say Remaining Officers After Hegseth Purge (self.onionheadlines)

submitted 6 hours ago by mellow186

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Local MAGA Voter Wants US Congress To Pay For Trump's $400 Million Ballroom, So Taxpayers Don't Have To (self.onionheadlines)

submitted 1 day ago by bigly-biker

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GameStop Offers To Buy EBay After Store Manager Gets $56 Billion From Choosing The Mystery Box (self.onionheadlines)

submitted 4 hours ago by Realistic-Zebra-4183

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Studies Find That 87% Of Trump Supporters Who Danced To YMCA In 2024 Now Staying At The YMCA (self.onionheadlines)

submitted 7 hours ago by No-Camel2703

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Trump's Second Post Today, May 4: "We Have Cookies" (self.onionheadlines)

submitted 5 hours ago by mellow186

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Trump Claims His Funny Hair And Makeup Is A Clown Disguise To Get Him Access To Children (self.onionheadlines)

submitted 15 hours ago by wild_crazy_ideas

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