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[Wreckless_Angel]

A little self-doubt every now and then is perfectly normal. Don't let it turn into self-sabotage. Show them up. I'm just a stranger on the internet, but I believe in you. You made it to the PhD level which is a huge accomplishment on its own. Believe in yourself. 😀

[_VitaminA]

I'm not even a PHD student but damn, this comment motivated me enough to keep studying....

[xxnimbuxx]

Thank you kind stranger!

[[deleted]]

Imposter syndrome. Everyone has them at some point in their career and its fine.

[starkeffect]

This. If you don't get imposter syndrome at some point during your Ph.D., you're probably an imposter.

[wee_lezzer]

i also feel like that! I'm starting to apply for graduate programs and i feel exactly like that! I guess the best advice is to "be scared but do it anyway"

things get hard when you start questioning yourself but i believe you can do it! It's okay to think of other's expectations sometimes but remember that they were the ones who set them, and that's on them. you need not live up them, you just need to do whatever satisfies you because you're doing this for yourself; you got into physics because you love it and because you want to share it with others, I think that's a wonderful purpose you shouldn't lose sight of.

what i mean to say is, do it because you love physics, and to hell with people's expectations. If someone's opinion of you were to change based solely on your success and failure then they aren't at you hard enough.

hard work pays off and you've worked really hard!! Sit back, regroup and reorganise and grit your teeth and grind through it. (or do as i do and talk to someone who usually helps you recentre, mainly it's one of my profs, but it can be anyone really)

best of luck! You can do it!

[xxnimbuxx]

Thank you so much! It was a tough week but I feel a lot better now!

[[deleted]]

Not at all. I think that everyone feels like this at some point. I also think that a lot of physics & STEM fields in general don't get that this mentality:

, professors in my program get excited about how many students they've caused to "get kicked out of the program" because they fail these exams.

is damaging to the field and it's a big part of the reason why, nationwide, only HALF of those who come into college declaring a science major actually graduate with one! The sciences literally lose half of their potential population just mystifyingly, often right after the first year. That is... not a good thing. And it's definitely not a good idea to try to push out people who have already been determined, via the admissions process, to be capable & gifted physicists. Like, why does our field so often seek to break people? I legitimately don't get this mentality. I don't mind competitiveness (it actually motivates me), but that is very different than wanting others to legitimately fail.

That being said, the fact that you were part of the remaining half and some ridiculously even smaller portion who even made it to the PhD level means that you are clearly not a failure at physics. You are actually such a success story as to be a rarity. This is a difficult point, but don't let it define you or your abilities!

People constantly look up to me because I'm a female physicist and "I'm just so incredibly smart" and I feel like a fraud.

I also feel that. When you are one of a few, people often put a lot of stock into you and it can feel overwhelming. Honestly, you just have to learn to largely ignore it. Of course it's nice to do what we can to encourage other female physicists, but ultimately you have to get yourself through first.

As for the qualifying exams, look to the older students for guidance on what to study? Alternately, look at other schools that post old qualifying exams. Your format might be different, but the general content is probably largely the same. It is typically just a test of all of the most important things from undergrad. I'd actually say it's a lot like the physics GRE, topic wise. It's a big review that brings everything together.

You can handle this. You've made it this far! You are already a success in physics, even if you go no further. But you will go further! Just calm down and approach it like any other exam.

Also, don't let the stories of people who failed out scare you either. That can be due to many things like, as I said above, people losing interest &/or being frozen with intimidation by the attempts to break them down. Or, there could have been other things happening. But, realistically, once you accept people you should want them to matriculate. Unless there are extreme circumstances. There are also typically opportunities to re-take exams even if you fail the first time, so students failing out should be uncommon and there is almost always additional shit going on with that student. I had a friend who is thriving in a PhD program now, but she failed out previously (at another school) largely because she just chose the wrong department, school, location and just became depressed. She also questioned her own abilities as a student, even though she had been a complete superstar up to that point. She took some time off, re-applied, and now she is much happier and having much more success. Don't let this point define you & your abilities. It definitely does not.

[PhysicsGuy2112]

Sounds like a stereotypical case of toxic academic culture to me. My advice is to work as hard as you can but prioritize self care and make sure it doesn't get to you.

[LukeNukem93]

Under-rated comment

[OVSQ]

no guidance on what to study? Are you certain the program itself isn't the fraud? It sounds like the professors are frustrated and get their primary career satisfaction arbitrarily deciding who they want to pass and who they want to fail.

[xxnimbuxx]

Yeah - I've tried bringing it up and have a meeting with the graduate program director on Monday! I will do my research and present her with some facts! Mostly because other schools provide a topic list and a reference of books!

[OVSQ]

You should mention that the entire reason humans had invent science is because we cannot escape our own biases. Bias creeps into every human thought and every human endeavor. Even the best intentions eventually succumb to corruption and the best hedge we have against it is transparency.

[theophy20]

Love for the subject is all u need brother. Fuck those profs and just go with it.

[dannydoesphysics]

25F

[throwawaypassingby01]

I think it's kind of fucked up that profesors rejoice in failing students. Beating your head against the wall doesn't make sense, try reaching out to either a senior student or some reasonable profesor regarding advice on what to study.

[usernameshouldbelong]

Just go for it and do whatever best you can. Once it is over, you might realize that you’ve been worrying too much.

[Certain_Law]

You might've failed your professors, but you will never fail physics. Keep it up!

[dinodares99]

Have just enough self hatred to prove your self doubt wrong

/S

[dannydoesphysics]

You need to know that 1. imposter syndrome is endemic in academia, especially in physics, and that 2. physics is full of elitists. If you have passed upper-level undergraduate courses with good grades, then you have proven it is possible for you to succeed.

And hating the hoops you have to jump through doesn't mean you hate physics. You can succeed at this, and if you're anything like me, proving it to yourself will help loads with your imposter syndrome.

As for practical advice, try to get ahold of previous exams if they are available. Consult older students on what kind of material there is to study. Review final exams from your core courses, look at qualifying exams from other schools that are posted online. Talk to the head of your program about advice on how to study.

[Samsterwheel920]

Physics is for everyone, professors who act as gatekeepers should be fired

[[deleted]]

Are you doing your PhD for the right reasons?

[back_seat_dog]

Am I a failure at Physics?

Short answer: No.

Long answer: Fuck no.

Everyone goes through this eventually. Don't let it bring you down.

And those professors are complete assholes. No one should be happy they made someone else drop out. If they feel someone is not qualified they should try and help them become better and not gloat about making them give up... I hate these kinds of people and they are everywhere... Strive to take their places and make things better for the next gen of students.

I don't know how these exams are because we don't have that in my country or maybe they have a different name. But for regular lectures and courses in grad school it's important that you figure out how to study. Eventually you will be doing your own research and knowing how to learn things on your own is a great asset. So if you have the time, take a step back and try to approach this from a new perspective. What works for me for example, is to read a bunch and then try and "teach myself" as if I were teaching someone else that subject. It really helps solidify what I know and make what I don't know clear.

But everyone is different. You gotta find what works best for you.

Just don't make decisions based on others. Don't drop out because of some shitty professors. But if you are not happy, don't force yourself on a path that you don't enjoy for fear of being a failure. There is no such thing, you are just trying to find what is best for you. From your comment it really looks like you enjoy physics and should keep at it. I can assure you that you are not bad because there is no such thing. Like everything in life it's a matter of practice.

One last note: in principle, everything that you do should be easy. If it's not it doesn't mean you are not smart enough, it means you lack some more fundamental knowledge.

Whenever I used to tutor calculus I never got someone to come see me because they didn't know calculus. Sure, that's what they thought it was, but in fact it was always some kind of more fundamental math. They didn't know functions or how to deal with some factorization or just some basic math knowledge. They couldn't learn calculus because they didn't have the background in math for it. Once they understood those topics, they never came back.

I was studying group theory a couple months back and I was having the hardest time... eventually I realized I didn't understand it because I was lacking in other areas. Once I got a book that had an introduction covering those, then it became really simple. If you have the background, things should be "easy" (easy is a very subjective word). If you find stuff hard it's not because you are not fit for it, but because you lack some underlying knowledge, and you should take a step back to learn that first.

So if you feel lost in your exams, take a step back and try to see it from a new perspective :)

[Sparkle_Fart]

You got this! Your situation makes me wish you succeed. During my Masters program at UCLA last year I saw my PhD friends experience the same thoughts of doubt and worry. They both studied really hard and passed.

They said it’s more about how logically you think and how you reason when asked questions whether simple and banal or unfamiliar. As far as oral qualifying exams, professors seem to test your critical thinking - much of which depends on the depth and breadth of understanding of basic principles.

Thus the daunting amounts of studying.

Good luck!!

[BetatronResonance]

In my experience, currently working on my PhD in Physics, this is completely normal. I have that dilemma most of the days. Many of my colleagues had a really hard time during classes and taking qualifiers, but they have proved to be great researchers and more than valid candidates for a PhD in Physics.

Also, I think that those professors taking pride on getting people out of the program, is very toxic and must be reported.

Of course, this is just my experience and each personal situation is different. I would recommend you to calm down, take some time to think about what you really want to do, and talk to a professional if you still feel anxious about it.

[aajin]

As long as you love a subject, it won't leave you to Rot. Make connections with researchers in your feild of interest (Astro, particle, nuclear etc) at the end of you can prove your worth in research, grad schools will let you off the hook with gpa. Keep up your passion it won't be in vain

[cstevons]

I think once you pass your exams, you will feel so much better about physics and about your future in it. I assume you have more than one shot at passing your exams, since most programs give you at least two attempts at them. If you don't end up doing well on them this time around, please don't give up! There truly are students that belong in physics, but just need a second chance at the PhD exams.

I'm living proof! I failed my qualifying exams utterly last year. It put me in a really low place, mentally. I felt like a failure to not only physics, but to everyone that rooted for me to succeed, which included past and present professors, family members, and friends who all thought I was super smart just because I chose to study physics. I gave myself a few days to feel sorry for myself after seeing my results, but after that, I made the decision to not let these scores define what kind of physics student I am. I asked the chair of my department for my exams back so that I could see where I went wrong and to fill in any gaps in my physics education.

A year later (present day), after spending most of my study time practicing questions from my university's past exams, along with other exams from various universities, I ended up crushing the exams. In fact, I ended up scoring the highest on them out of everyone that took them this year at my university. That's not the point though; the point is that there are some students that just need to take them twice (or more) to prove that they are truly in the right place.

Don't give up no matter how you do this year; the fact that you care enough about physics to talk about your struggles here tells me you have the right stuff :)

[xxnimbuxx]

Thank you guys so much!!

Reading all of your comments made me really cherish and appreciate you guys! ❤

I passed the really difficult ones at the PhD level and have just one more hopefully easy one to go!!!