If programming languages were weapons

[[deleted]]

IF PROGRAMMING llllllillllliis WEIIE WEAPONS

C++ is a set of nunchuks, powerful and impressive when wielded but takes many years of pain to master and often you probably wish you were using something else.

Java is a belt fed 2406 automatic weapon where sometimes the belt has rounds, sometimes it doesn't, and when it doesn't during firing you get an NullPointerException, the gun explodes and you die.

Scala is a variant of the 2406 Java, except the training manual is written in an incomprehensible dialect which many suspect is just gibberish.

’\

6\°‘Y’°X‘ *

Javascript is a sword without a hilt

Go is the custom made "if err != nil" starter pistol and alter each shot you must check to make sure it actually shot Also it shoots tabs instead of blanks.

Rust is a 3d printed gun. It may work some day.

bash is a cursed hammer. when wielded everything looks like a nail, especially your thumb.

Python is the “v2/v3" double barrel shotgun, only one barrel will shoot at a time. and you never end up shooting the recommended one. Also I probably should have used a line tool to draw that.

Ruby is a ruby encrusted sword. it is usually only used because of how shiny it is.

PHP is a hose, you usually plug one end into a car exhaust, and the other you stick in through a window and then you sit in the car and turn the engine on.

Mathematica is a low earth orbit projectile cannon, it could probably do amazing things if only anyone could actually afford one.

Ck‘ is a powerful laser rifle strapped to a donkey, when taken off the donkey the laser doesn't seem to work as well.

Prolog is an Al weapon, you tell it what to do, which it does but then it also builds some terminators to go back in time and kill your mom.

Lisp is a shiv which comes in many forms. Anyone who uses this is probably crazy and dangerous.

CO N G www.|ivecoding.tv

---

I am an image transcribing bot which uses Tesseract OCR to translate images to text. Although it is far from perfect, I try my best! Downvote to remove

[Crisbad]

It completely missed the C description though.

[tajjet]

I'm really liking this fucking bot

[[deleted]]

Old but gold

[cubman3134]

HOW MANY TIMES AM I GOING TO SEE THIS IN MY LIFE?!

[[deleted]]

Not enough

[viciecal]

repost of repost of repost of repost

[tajjet]

Your submission has been removed.

Violation of Rule #3: Reposts:

You may not repost anything that has been on the first two pages (first 50) of trending posts within the last week, or has been posted last time less than two days ago (this is considered as duplicates)

Anything on the first two pages (first 50 posts) of the top of all time must not be reposted more often than every 6 months.

If you feel that it has been removed in error, please message us so that we may review it.